Pushing other kids

[ameliabedelia]

DD is 25 months old, and recently has become very pushy during playgroup and when around other kids, especially kids who are within 8 months or so of her age (either older of younger). If another child comes too close to her, and she doesn't want them there, she tries to push them out of the way. If another child even comes near a toy she is with, she pushes them out of the way. Lots of times at each playgroup, there will be one child in particular who she seems to "not like" and if they come near her, she tries to push them away. She may be fine with the other kids, it is just that one kid. I think part of the problem is that she physically bigger than most other kids her age. She seems to push kids around who are "smaller" than her in a physical sense (not really smaller, like babies, just a little smaller),

HELP!!!

What should I do. When she does it, or is about to push another kid, I have been telling her "No, we don't push" in a stern voice and then picking her up and trying to distract her/give her something else to play with.

What would you do?? What do you do about that?

She isn't very verbal yet, so teaching her to say something to the other kids won't work. She is still just working on saying single words and 2-word sentences.

TIA

[Peppermint]

I promise it is a stage and will pass soon , both of mine went through a hitting stage, I was horrified, but looking back- it really wasn't long at all.

In the meantime, what you are doing is good, IMO. Remember that although she is not saying much- she understands a whole bunch- so give a quick explanation- I would say, "No pushing! When you push Jimmy it hurts him. If you want him to move say, "Move please."" I realize Heidi might not be ready to say, "Move please", but say it to her anyway- she will pick it up eventually (like how my kids recently picked up saying "stupid": from MIL).

This reminds me of an episode of "Yes, Dear", where they set their child up in a situation where he would be up against a child who wouldn't take that treatment (ie- would shove back), but I digress from the sit-com world, and don't suggest that for you Although- sometimes a natural consequence will end the behavior best.

This too shall pass!

Oh- and- be thankful she's not biting

[MamaAllNatural]

This doesn't sound too bad because she's pushing, not hitting and it's only one kid, not all of them, that she "doesn't like." It does sound like normal stuff and it also sounds like you're dealing with it well.

Part of it probably also is that she's not very verbal. I agree with helping her use her words though. Even if she can't say it, when another child is coming too close to her and you notice her starting to react say, "DD, you don't like it when 'Jonny' gets so close to you?" or something along those lines. Her space does need to be respected if that's what upsetting her.

It will pass eventually. Until then you'll have to just watch her very carefully to be able to catch her before she's able to hurt another child. I'd also avoid taking her to playgroup when she's tired at all. It'll make it so much harder. If she's having a day where she's continuing to hurt other children while she's playing, then you will proabably just need to take her home to protect the other children. This is a logical consequence for her actions. "If you hurt your friends, then you can't play with them." Hopefully it won't come to this though. You sound like you're doing a great job. Hang in there!

[ameliabedelia]

Thanks. I am glad to hear it is just a phase.

It seems like everyone else at playgroup has these really well behaved children which play with other kids beautifully (AND, they don't AP, they get spanked, etc. I just know everyone thinks I am too permissive : I know that's not too true, it is just what it seems like.