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I need advice/just a shoulder and feel I can ask here since no one really 'knows' me...

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

This is probably going to be a long ramble.  I just have to get it out and can't really tell anyone I know IRL. 

 

We are in a REALLY hard spot financially.  It's been rough since my husband was laid off almost 2yrs ago.  We were doing 'ok' until I had to stop working due to preterm contractions.  I made more than DH when I was working, so the last 3wks have pretty much depleted us (we were barely getting by with both of us working).  DH's hours were cut at both of his jobs (making minimum wage, mind you) so we didn't even make $1000 this month.  Our rent is $750 alone.  I went to put DH's paycheck in today to find that our account is overdrawn which just adds to the stress.  There isn't going to be much of a Christmas around here (which I'm really ok with - we already have a few things for the kids and will just enjoy the time together) but I'm nervous about REAL bills.  You know, things we have to have - power, water, etc.  I went and applied for Food Stamps today and have to go tomorrow for an appointment to see if we qualify for expedited food stamps.  I'm not really sure what's going to happen there as she said all I need is my photo ID - seems they'd need more than that?  More than food at the moment, I'm worried about other bills but I felt like I *had* to do *something*, anything to help...

 

What do I do now?  Is there anything I can do, for that matter?  Our water is scheduled to be turned off as of the 6th.  I'll pay that, but can't afford to pay rent which is due today.  And we're already behind from November.  I'm trying not to freak out.  And I just want to have this baby so I can get back to work after maternity leave and take some of the stress off all of us.  mecry.gif

 

If you're still with me - Thanks.  I know that was long winded. 

post #2 of 12

Hugs to you! How stressful!!!!!

post #3 of 12

Oh boy, how horribly stressful. I'm so sorry and wish there were something we could do to help. I'm sure you've thought of all these things, but if the bureaucracy of getting food stamps together takes longer than is reasonable, you might consider contacting a church (your own if you have one, but any church really...) -- especially around the holidays they ought to be a great resource, for any help you need, stuff beyond food too...

 

It's so hard, isn't it, and sometimes the bad stuff all just seems to happen together at the wrong time? My situation is different from yours, but has also been really stressful, the past few days especially. My DH has a full time job but is also finishing his PhD. Trying to finish, that is. He's under the wire now, he technically has to finish in the next month or his program will terminate him. His advisor is being supremely unsupportive and he's completely overwhelmed with trying to put in time at the job and also write full-time. He desperately needs me to help him edit and organize his thoughts and it is SO stressful for me too, watching him be so scared. My mind is of course jumping ahead to -- if he gets terminated from the program he can't keep his job (he was hired contingent on finishing the PhD). My own job, which pays well but not as well as his, is as an independent contractor. My current contract ends next week and MIGHT be renewed in March but no guarantee. A newborn and no jobs?! And we just bought a house (literally, last month!).

 

Not really trying to compare, or even say I can understand what you're going through. Just that I can understand how hopeless it can sometimes feel, especially when all you want to do (all I want to do, anyway) is relax and focus on your body and the baby and the holidays...

 

For me, I just keep telling myself, no matter what it's not the end of the world. You never know what is around the next corner. So many hugs to you! hug2.gif

post #4 of 12

I'm so sorry, that is horribly stressful. I second the suggestion of contacting local churches (whether you are religious or not)--they are usually the quickest source of information about  various services in your area. Here is a food bank about 30 minutes from you (don't know what your transportation situation is): http://www.nwafoodbank.org/ I would try calling them even if you're not able to physically get out there--they may also have information about utility assistance in the area.

post #5 of 12

I'm so sorry. Financial troubles can lay such an extremely heavy weight emotionally and can cause such stress and tension, such bad timing too with you about to have a baby! And over the holidays.

 

Sometimes if you contact the companies and let them know your circumstances, they can come up with an arrangement. If you explain you're out of work because of the pregnancy but plan to go back etc. they might let you pay reduced and make it up later. It's worth a try anyway. Can any of your parents help you out a bit, just to get through the toughest hump? I know it's hard to ask for help. I hate it, but have had to do it. If it's an option, it's better than struggling.

 

You have my sympathy. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all that. I hope it will pass quickly and smoothly and you'll be back in a more secure position soon.

post #6 of 12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Scottish Gal View Post

 

Sometimes if you contact the companies and let them know your circumstances, they can come up with an arrangement. If you explain you're out of work because of the pregnancy but plan to go back etc. they might let you pay reduced and make it up later. It's worth a try anyway.


yeahthat.gif

 

I don't know for sure that calling to explain your situation will get them to ease off but it's worth a shot. I know that one of my credit card companies has a feature where if you find yourself in a financial hardship, you can waive your payments for a while...but I think you have to sign up for that in advance and there's a small monthly fee?

post #7 of 12
I am so sorry, I'm sure the stress is awful. I was totally freaking out last week because a client couldn't pay us for the last two weeks worth of work eyesroll.gif. It's such an awful time, emotionally, to be experiencing financial problems! I know here they offer food stamps along with cash assistance for bills as well as help with utility bills.
post #8 of 12

No advice; I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you, and I hope that all this stress clears up very quickly!

post #9 of 12

Just keep thinking about you. I'm a nurse in the NICU in California and I know things are different everywhere but you might try this; tell the L and D nurse on admission (hospital birth...I'm just guessing) that you are on food stamps and are having financial, housing issues. In California a social worker can be assigned to you and her/his job is to hook you up with resources. We have WIC here, which is Women Infants and Children and provides coupons for food and formula (if needed).  The social workers I work with get people signed up for medical benefits, food stamps, help with housing payments, gas money etc, in very short order. Hopefully, this will help you too!

post #10 of 12

Hugs to you.  Is your dh healthy?  He might look into donating plasma.  It's like donating blood but they pay, and it sounds like every bit could help.  I have not done this myself but I do know many people are to help their finances.


Edited by Artichokie - 12/2/10 at 6:47pm
post #11 of 12

Hey AndysQueen, I know it probably took some strength to share your situation even with us who don't know you and I applaud you for that. As with everyone else, I am thinking of you and I hope things will get better. A good friend was going through a divorce and living on her own with three under the age of 5. I went with her to some of the appointments and I know they can be frustrating. My best advice is to be honest and pleasant with whoever you're talking to (say about food stamps or other assistance). Agency workers deal with a lot of stressed out and fed up clients and they seem to be really helpful and lovely with someone who is pleasant with them and are willing to go the extra mile for you.I would bring other documents in addition to your photo ID tomorrow in case the person who told you today that it's all you'd need was wrong. Good luck, hang in there, hugs!

post #12 of 12

HUGS and Pray for you and family

 

if you go to a church to the have funds to help people in need like this

maybe going to talk to the pastor

even alittle pray from him may help remove some stress for you and family

HUGS HUGS HUGS

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