My 3 year old son is also not retractable yet I think. I never touch his foreskin.
He never had any redness. He takes baths about once a week in water without any soap or takes a shower.
I wouldn't do the cream.
Find another urologist. We're on our third. Our first was highly recommended - but he wasn't for us. I didn't care what someone's credentials were. If they couldn't respect our family's values then they weren't for us. Circ is not something I'm willing to compromise on one iota. It has been worth it to find our current doctor. A good urologist is an amazing doc to have!