Thank you to those that took the time to reply. I certainly didn't read through all the replies yet. I'll work through them slowly. I have read some of them and scanned through others (very tired right now....I have a sleep disorder/CFS/mystery illness so just kind of struggling all around with my health/energy).
I realized after I posted this that it would probably be misinterpreted, and that I would probably be judged. I guess I was just trying to speak frankly, and I was under the impression only the people that could relate to my fears would reply (so I didn't expect this many replies either).
I have thought about seeing a therapist, just to help me better relate to my husband, and not get frustrated when I feel like we aren't "connecting" (despite me trying very hard to find ways for us to connect when we are just alone with down time). I am wondering if my problem is more with the TYPES of intelligence others have mentioned, and just that I need to understand him more and the way he thinks? I am trying. I have had a feeling that could be the problem. That is what I was trying to get at in my original post, when I was saying he tests well in math, yet you wouldn't think he was intelligent by reading a letter from him or speaking to him. I went to normal public school, so I haven't been exposed to some of those ideas about different types of intelligence. It gives me more to check out, so thank you. It seems you all have studied this kind of thing more than others, after reading some of the posts in this forum, so that was one of the main reasons I asked for help/insight here, and finally posted. I didn't think the people who felt judgment would actually post, out of courtesy, so that's quite a surprise (it looks like some posts were deleted, yikes).
I think it goes without saying, that I would love my children no matter what. I guess I didn't think I'd need to mention that. I have already researched MANY other aspect of parenting on this site, that have nothing to do with intelligence. So it's not like this is my main "issue" with the idea of parenting. This is just one of the few questions I had that I didn't see already answered on this site. I am really just looking for someone that has ever felt what I feel (trepidation
I am actually looking forward to going back and reading more of these replies when I'm feeling better (probably tomorrow), because it seems like some people have some great ideas, on things I could research to help me better understand how I see the world vs. how others with different strengths are seeing the world, which is what I think I need. So thank you to those that are trying to help. I realize my request is a little unorthodox, and I do realize how this came across, I realized it in retrospect, but I didn't think I'd have to edit myself for fear of being judged.
I also realized in retrospect (after getting all my fears "out there") how silly it is in a way, because I know that each child is a unique person.
I guess my question was more about, how do people in a family relate to each other, when they are different? I came from a small family, and we were all similar. And even with us being similar, there was a lot of friction. I am used to relating to different types of people in my everyday life, but not within the family dynamic (until marrying my husband, who operates completely different than me in almost every way). We have somehow adapted, but it has been hard at times.
I think just typing out my original post helped a lot, because I got everything off my chest, and it felt good. Then, once you see it in print, you really how silly yet cliche some of it is. Anyways...I guess I'm hoping that you all will assume the best of me before posting? I may need therapy, and that is fine, but please don't judge me too much. I live very far away from any family except my husband, am young, and too ill to have a job or drive right now, so I don't get a lot of interaction, and am going through a lot of emotional things/worries. So please try to be supportive if you can. I am really just looking for help, insight, and maybe anyone who can relate to the fears of if you will get along with your future fam?
Oh, and back to the "getting along" thing.......I DON'T only get along with smart people. I was VERY into athletics in high school, so those were the people I hung out with. I don't like to read books. (I do research things on the internet, follow news). In fact, I think a lot of the white-collar professionals in this world are too smug for my liking, when they start talking about books, vacations, wine, theatre, etc etc....anything to make themselves sound impressive. I dropped out of college (for health reasons though). It is moreso that I do value having close family or people around me that "get" me, and that I "get." I hope that makes better sense? So my children do NOT have to be "like" me, but I do want them to "get" me, ****and I want to be able to "get" them*****. It is the connection I am worried about.