There are degrees of manifestation of ADD. One of the biggest difficulties I have found is that when describing what are in reality, severe manifestations, people who have not experienced living with someone with similar severity of symptoms won't know the degree of "doesn't talk to me" that is being expressed.
My dp is presently healing his ADD with steady and exciting progress, but after his hyper-focus "now" turned to "not-now" regarding our relationship a few months after we married, he stopped talking to me. What I mean by "he stopped talking to me" is that he literally would not speak a word, even of acknowledgment, to me, sometimes for two-week periods that ended with an excited speech about something that interested him. Then he may greet me or not when coming and going, oftentimes not even telling me he was leaving our home. It made no sense to him that I would want the courtesy of being informed of his departures. This is how little he spoke to me; if he didn't say he was leaving, he didn't say anything at all, so I insisted that he at least do that much. He went from being my closest friend ever, to being a complete stranger with no interest in our life whatsoever. Really, none. And this is by far one of the least of the issues that plagued our life together as a result of untreated ADD.
Anyway, it's not like that anymore, thankfully, but I jut wanted to add to the discussion, that sometimes it's not just a common marital complaint when a spouse of an "ADDer" shares a potentially ADD-caused relational experience, but something far more severe. For some, everything is about the ADD because it was trauma-induced and runs deep throughout the sufferer's psyche. I know that it's not that way for everyone, but it sure is for some, and maybe even most.
"Non-ADD spouses" can go on for decades being told that they are too sensitive, too picky, too controlling, etc..., because they don't know that what they are expressing is being understood in a much less severe way than it is in reality for them. This is very typical. It is very difficult to find support for non-ADD spouses, sadly.
For anyone interested, this site is about marriage and ADD. I don't agree with all of what's there, but the articles are usually encouraging, while the forum is overwhelmingly populated by posts that leave little hope, if any (so I don't read there).
My experience with my formerly severe and now healing ADD partner is that with intention and willingness, there can be abundant recovery of lost or disordered brain functions and rebuilding of healthy neurosynaptic pathways and behaviours. My partner found Gabor Mate's book Scattered to be of immeasurable help, hope, and inspiration, as well as having a wholistic explanation of the ADD experience. The author has ADD and has healed the aspects of it that caused him suffering.
To express that I am proud of my dp's self-healing would be an enormous understatement. He is healing without meds, and is so much more him than he has ever been, by his description, which is also evident to everyone we know. Now, for the first time ever, we have some normal marital issues. Those issues are not just a step up from where we were before, but myriad staircases climbed to reach "normal".
When I had body-consuming contractions with my first labour after having already two babies by non-labour cs, I felt nothing but awe and gratitude for every sensation in my body. I felt the same with the two labours after that. It doesn't even phase me that some of those sensations were intense, seeming-spine-splitting pain; I cannot perceive those experiences in any other context than deep, fulfilling gratitude. With my dp, it is something like that now. It is truly awesome to me to be able to deal with normal marital issues because for so long, our issues were galaxies away from normal and could only be described as bizarre, life-sucking, unintentional gas-lighting, resulting in truly debilitating stress (enter weird stress-induced life-threatening illness here). So I am truly grateful for the opportunity to work through normal marital issues. I feel a bit giddy about it sometimes, because it is a pleasure to be able to do that with my partner when previous to his healing journey's commencement, these normal experiences were completely unavailable to us.
ADD adds a dimension to any relationship. It can consume every other dimension though, too, if not properly dealt with (according to each individual's needs, of course). I cannot adequately describe how great it feels to be able to express this from this perspective. :)