Husband's Anxiety Problems

[dhurley423]

Hello,

My husband is having an extreme bout of anxiety right now.  It has been going on since a little before Thanksgiving.  On the Sunday after Thanksgiving we flew back home from his Grandmother's house in Michigan and he had a panic attack on the plane.  He takes Lexapro.  He was taking Vitamin D for a couple weeks (at my urging) and believes that this is what has caused his anxiety.  I think it is possible, but I have no idea.  He has stopped the Vitamin D and still feels severely anxious. 

He has gone to work one day this week and is working from home today.  I made a doctor's appointment for him with a holistic doctor (which he is at right now).  He really wants something (a drug) that will just make him feel normal.  I keep telling him that a drug isn't going to fix the problem and he needs to address the underlying issues.  I am just so upset about this whole situation and don't really have anyone to talk to about it.  I don't want to talk to friends or family, to respect his privacy.  I also have anxiety and depression issues, so this has been tough for me.  I am trying very hard to be the rock he needs right now, but fear that I may start crumbling soon. 

Last night I had to fill out the health questionaire for him that the new doctor requested.  He NEVER asks me to help him with stuff like that.  I don't mind helping him, but it scares me.  I read each question and he had trouble answering some of them, and even understanding some of them. 

Can anyone offer support or advice?  I am trying to take care of myself so that I can take care of him and our son as well.

Thanks,

Dawn

[goodygumdrops]

well, I think that it's great that your hear trying to understand what he's going through.  I know how frustrating it can be to not be able to just turn it off at will.  I would say that to really help him by lightening his load, yk..doing household stuff and taking care of the kids.  Maybe lying down together and holding him in your arms would help him.  Have him put his ear to your heart and try and have him sync to your breathing.  Sometimes that helps calm me when I'm feeling anxiety. 

As for the vitamin d, I can't imagine that would cause him to have an anxiety attack.  I think it would likely be the holidays and stress.  Sometimes these things just rear their heads ,yk. 

good luck

[BabyFireFly]

My husband has suffered from severe bouts of anxiety for almost his entire life (he will be 47 this month). I too over the years have developed some sort of social anxiety, not full blown panic attacks or anything like that, but I avoid certain situations and prefer to keep to myself and family in my "own little world" here on our farm. I have never taken any of the traditional medications for these symptoms as I have witnessed their effects on family members who have been prescribed everything under the rainbow and have never had positive outcomes. However my husband has, and believes that at some points they assisted him in getting through some of the more trying times in his life. His anxiety is totally different from my own, he has no issues with being out in the big world and dealing with people, his is more brought on by work related stress. We run our own business, and failure means that he won't be able to provide for his family. While we do pretty good, there is always the chance that things could take a turn for the worse...especially in today's economy and the nature of our business. That, coupled with the fact the we have a young child and one due in April has started up a long "dark" period that started before the holidays and has continued on and off for him. Back in the 90s (when he was in his first marriage) he went through such an extreme period of anxiety that he started to lose his hair and was dealing with issues with substance abuse (alcohol). Being a recovering alocholic, the danger of him "slipping" off the bandwagon is a constant threat. Since our marriage I have dealt with a scattered number of incidents where he replapsed into his "old ways" and thought that picking up the drink again would help him - he knew deep down it would only make things worse, but when people have had these issues in the past they sometimes ignore what they know is "right." Anyway, it is a daily challenge for me to try to "keep it together" to avoid him "losing himself." I could offer to go to the doctor with him, or a therapist and seek medical treatments to "control" the anxiety (which I have always offered if that's his wish) but I have found that the best way for me to assist him is by staying positive and upbeat myself, something that is sometimes difficult when you yourself are stressed. Everyday (usually at night once all the work is done) we make time to hang out together, cuddle and talk. He is very big on being able to lay in bed with me and our daughter and hold on to the two of us. In this comfortable family gathering we can calmly discuss any issues that we are facing and come up with plans or solutions to things that may be a challenge in our life, which benefits our own mental health. The more you talk about problems that are causing you the anxiety, and work through them together, the better you feel about dealing with them. Suddenly something that seems like this huge, horrible thing can be looked at from all angles with a clear mind and "made okay." It's something to try....allow him to find a comfortable place (physically and mentally) that generates a bond between the pair of you, which will open up an environment that welcomes communication - leading to solutions to the problems and therefore relief of the anxiety.