Anyone NOT let their child in a toystore or look at toy catalogues? - Page 2

[sunshadow]

I actually just declared that I wasn't going to take my daughter,3.5,  to any more Toy stores or let her look at catalogs.  We just started getting catalogs and never had before and my daughter is obsessed with them.  I let her look at them because it bought me some time with the baby.  I was always happy that my child didn't know commercial characters and didn't have any interest in box toy store type toys.  Well, then Halloween came and the costume catalog and my DH reading the names to her and she now knows them all!  I feel like in two months time my child has become totally absorbed in the stuff she sees in the catalogs.  She was keeping them in her room and just loved to sit and look at them.  I need to find some wholesome picture book of girls in it because she would love that.  She just loves seeing other girls pictures.  I just don't like that she is staring to tell me what she wants to have.  It's amazing how fast they are sucked in.

[Lisa85]

We are Montessori, so I get where you're coming from.  I have given up the battle on plastics long ago.  But the "educational' electronic crap battle I'm still fighting.  Dd's haven't thought to ask for a specific toy and we don't encourage it either.  It drives me batty when other children (and adults) ask for very specific things. A gift IMO is supposed to be something thoughtful IMO, and where is the thought in picking something off a list, taking it off the shelf and buying it?

I have coached my kids to say more vague things like "books", or "puzzles", "board games" rather than specific items.  The constant asking is enough to drive me crazy.  At the request of other family members we have an online wishlist set up and there are quite a few things on there.  And yet they are constantly asking.  Asking me, asking dd's and then saying "Well, what about. ___ or do you like _________".  And to top it off, their gifts are usually nothing anywhere close to things the kids have asked for.  All that asking, and then you go out and buy what you want anyways.

[CatsCradle]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

I think there are two issues:

First is your desire to protect your child from consumerism and the steps that you're taking to do that. Those are totally up to you. We're not as diligent as you are about it, but my kids rarely, if ever, look through catalogs and we don't go shopping 'for fun'. I hate shopping and am incredibly stressed out by malls. It ain't fun for me, so we don't do it. I have found it helpful with my kids, however, to look at toys and help them think about what makes a 'good' toy. We talk about the different uses things could have, what kinds of things they're made of, etc. We also buy used -- ds is really into penguins and has a whole stuffed penguin clan he's building. When he gets money to buy another penguin, he wants to go to Goodwill. I'm not as strict about what comes into the house, but things that stay tend to have good play value.

The second issue is what your child should say when people ask her what she wants for her birthday. She does need a response for the social interaction. If she doesn't have specific things, can you coach her to tell people what she's interested in? "What do you want for your birthday?"  really is "What do you like to do, and can I buy you a present that you'd like?" So if she tells people that she's into drawing or cats or music, you can help direct them a bit.

We must be related, LynnS6, because we don't shop for fun either and my 4 year old DD collects penguins (you name it...snow globes; plushies; mechanical; books; etc.).  I thought DD was the only human alive with a "penguin problem."  LOL.

I also second your comment about talking to your DCs about "good toys."  We live in a large city with a multitude of shops (including a 99 cent store on every block) and DD is constantly exposed to stuff, mostly crap.  Funny, but she seems to be able to differentiate the crappola from the quality stuff.  If she wants something cheesey, I tell her that she has to spend her own money on it (which isn't much).  She gives up and then forgets about it.  We also try to focus on toys or items that I know revolve around her interests.  I think that is how the whole penguin thing started.  She loved her first little penguin and now she seems devoted to the idea.

I don't think we give children credit for their ability to understand things.  My DD is in full-time preschool (Monstessori) and is exposed to a lot of stuff.  I think that setting limits as well as helping her understand the differing quality of things has been fairly successful (challenging, but somewhat successful).

As far as relatives and friends are concerned, my common response is that we just don't have the room and/or if they insist, reminding them of DD's interests (she loves penguins and art).  On those two fronts, it is really hard to go wrong.  In fact, it is a huge relief to most of my relatives when I give them something to focus on.  I don't think it is necessary to frame it as a Waldorf thing.  We're not Waldorf and we have the same type of values concerning consumer goods, etc. Good luck.  
 

[JudiAU]

We have a Waldorf-orientated toy store and I'll occasionaly take 3.5 DS there. He usually finds something he loves and I may or may not buy it. If I bought it, we'd probably have about 20 fagus trucks. =S But it is safe and wholesome and I don't mind anything they sell. If I knew then what I know now I probably would have purchased the Holzinger figures he picks out every time too.

The one time we went to TRU it was horrible. I was shopping for Toys for Tots and that won't happen again. It was like it 20 frosted cupcakes.He is usually totally overwhelmed on playdates with kids from our preschool, who have a ton of big plastic toys at their house. Our preschool uses primarily natural toys and good art supplies and doesn't allow character shirts so we are fairly protected. He doesn't watch tv.

I don't ask him what he wants as gifts. We get the Nova catalog and have a few others lying around (Plan Toys packaging) etc. and he never really expresses any interest. I am sure that when he is older he'll start to want whatever he is brainwashed to want but I can hold off for a little while longer.

That being said, I um sort of love toys and spend more than my share of time picking out goodies.I try to buy only ethically produced goods from small sellers so that helps limit the number. But *I* look a lot. I have to really careful to make sure to not to buy too much.

Edited by JudiAU - 12/9/10 at 3:14pm

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 
 I am sure that when he is older he'll start to want whatever he is brainwashed to want but I can hold off for a little while longer.

You know, it is possible for your child to want something just because he thinks he'd enjoy it. Wanting something doesn't mean brainwashing.
 

[BarefootGirl]

Originally Posted by Lisa85 

The constant asking is enough to drive me crazy.  At the request of other family members we have an online wishlist set up and there are quite a few things on there.  And yet they are constantly asking.  Asking me, asking dd's and then saying "Well, what about. ___ or do you like _________".  And to top it off, their gifts are usually nothing anywhere close to things the kids have asked for.  All that asking, and then you go out and buy what you want anyways.

Yeah, that just kills me.  If you're going to pick what you want anyway, just go ahead and do it and don't ask me.  A family member did this to me before my baby shower - called me with a bunch of questions about diaper pails and what kind I liked and why, etc.  We had a whole conversation about it.  Then she called me back 2 days in a row asking about swings/bouncy seats.  The shower happens the following weekend and she gifts me baby clothing and blankets, which is great, but why a million questions about diaper pails, swings, and bouncy seats if you're going to buy clothing and blankets? 

[Carma]

We are much less 'crunchy' then you. Our kids watch TV/DVD (no commercials though), have plastic toys, and went to daycare from 4/5 months of age.

However, I still don't take them to a toystore or give toy-catalogues to them. They (esp. the 5 yo) want everything the few times we were in a toystore, they don't understand exactly what it means that you have to buy things. Without trips to a toystore or other toy-commercials/catalogues they are fine with what they have and what they get, much easier, more relaxed and simpler. It might change when they get older, then we will have the peer influence I think.

Carma

[karne]

Just thinking about the catalog piece......when I was a child we all waited forever for the big catalogs to arrive in the mail, and we pored over them.  My parents never, ever bought out of catalogs, but we loved them anyway.  Ultimately my sisters and I would cut out all of the figures and make paper dolls out of them, and cut out the toy pictures to be "accessories" to the paper dolls.  DH remembers his sisters doing the same thing.  Probably a familiar experience for those of us who were of that age in the late 70's.

Edited by karne - 12/20/10 at 6:43am

[2lilsweetfoxes]

I took my non-verbal Autistic son to the toy aisle of Target recently to learn what attracted him.  There were a couple toys that he really wanted--to the point I was afraid of melt-down.  Then, I went back a couple days later and purchased a couple of the toy he insisted on getting and he will get those for Christmas.  His (neuro-typical) sister showed a couple toys to me, but, I've already picked out her gifts.  I let friends and family know that the youngest is into yo-gabba-gabba or wonderpets or really anything.  And his older sister likes to read, especially Junie B. Jones and Magic Treehouse.  She reads on a fourth grade level.  She also likes art of all kinds.  And then I tell people my son is into Thomas,Toy Story, Veggie Tales, and gluten-free play-doh.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by karne 

  My parents never, ever bought out of catalogs, but we loved them anyway. 

Heck, I never buy out of them, but I LOVE leafing through catalogs, and I'm supposedly a grown-up! 

[jeanine123]

I'm another one who loved to pour over the Christmas catalog.  Our favorite one was the JCPenney catalog.  Never thought of the paper doll aspect though, that would have been cool.  I never had an expectation that I'd get everything I found in either the catalog or at the store.  I also still love to look through catalogs, though I rarely buy from them.

[joyluc]

When my DS was about 4 and my sister's DD was the same age we took them to a big toy store and told them it was a toy museum. They totally believed us and we had a great time playing and then we left.

My big complaint about the plastic toys is that they always come with a shiny brochure for the other toys in that line so the child is immediately focused on what more they could get instead of being satisfied with what they just got.

[mbm]

I was in a small, independent toy store today and the place was packed with kids of all ages all howling "I want this, I want that," crying, tantrumming, running around like crazy, etc.  All I could think was, "Why would anyone ever want to take their child to the toy store?"  It just seems like a recipe for disaster.

My parents did let us circle things in the Sears catalog, (99% of which we did NOT get at Christmastime) but we almost never went to the toy store.  Maybe two or three times ever, to pick out a specific thing.

[cyclamen]

Originally Posted by joyluc 

When my DS was about 4 and my sister's DD was the same age we took them to a big toy store and told them it was a toy museum. They totally believed us and we had a great time playing and then we left.

Hah that is brilliant about the toy museum thing.

[lonegirl]

I take ds to toy stores...as a kid it was a huge treat going to TRU (they were only in the US back then and we went only a couple times a year).  I think that really like all things not all kids react the same.   LOL  My son is one who will see things he already has in the stores and say  "I already have that"....like it shouldn't be there.  He is a child who holds my hands and knows that malls and stores are not for running around and that we go to look and not touch.  We go to malls often jsut to get out and go for a walk around so really it becomes background.  I loved the toy catalogue as a kid it was my fave!  My son could care less...I gave him a catalogue to look at and he didn't care...showed no interest at all.

Originally Posted by mbm 

I was in a small, independent toy store today and the place was packed with kids of all ages all howling "I want this, I want that," crying, tantrumming, running around like crazy, etc.  All I could think was, "Why would anyone ever want to take their child to the toy store?"  It just seems like a recipe for disaster.

My parents did let us circle things in the Sears catalog, (99% of which we did NOT get at Christmastime) but we almost never went to the toy store.  Maybe two or three times ever, to pick out a specific thing.