Potty Learning with a...ahem, challenging child

[pampered_mom]

My dd1 is just shy of 3 years old.  We began potty learning with her back in August with mild success.  It seems like she understands when she needs to go to the bathroom as she will make an attempt to get to the bathroom when she needs to go.  It's just that her timing is a bit off.

Potty learning in general has been a tough slog with her given the numerous accidents she has consistently had along the way.  Diapers/pull-ups don't address the issue because all of her accidents occur in the bathroom right around the toilet.  It seems clear that she's waiting too long - easy solution, right?

Umm...nope.  She's our challenging one.  She wants to be fiercely independent.  If you try to suggest that she use the restroom before she's darn good and ready a lot of kicking and screaming will ensue.  Try to put her on the toilet to avoid the deluge?  She'll hop right off and throw a fit on the floor in the bathroom.

How can I help her through this?  She doesn't really welcome assistance in the bathroom unless it's helping her wipe and if I leave her to herself I run out of clothing for her to wear within a couple of days and I'm continually cleaning up pee off the floor.

Ds (my oldest) was so much easier.  He potty learned at the same age, but after only a few weeks was an old pro.  I'm afraid I don't have any tools from what I learned with him to apply here.

[Llyra]

My DD1 was impossible to potty train. She's another fiercely independent do-it-myself kind of kid. She would flip out and scream if I tried to "control" the process by taking her to the bathroom, and the more I pushed, the more stubbornly she fought the idea.

Honestly, the only thing that worked, finally, was for me to completely stop trying. I put clean pants and undies in a little box under the bathroom sink, and left wipes in there where she could reach them, and told her to let me know if she needed help. If she asked for help, I'd help patiently, but otherwise I'd not even mention the issue-- other than to insist that she wear a diaper in the car, because I wasn't going to be washing the car seat every day.

I also left a big pile of old prefolds in the bathroom, for her to use to clean up puddles as they occurred. Then I rolled up the area rug in my family room, and put towels all over the furniture, and left her alone for a month.

She mostly just wet herself, and then changed her own clothes (with them on all backwards and cock-eyed) for a few weeks, and then one day she just decided to do it, and did, and we really never looked back. She had to be allowed to do it in her own good time, when she got good and ready. She was about a month past three, when it finally clicked.

Poop was harder-- we struggled with that for longer.

But in the end, she did it. She's six now, and totally housebroken (I'm kidding.... ).

Hang in there-- it'll happen, when it's time.