Is it really bad that I drive my daughter to sleep each night?

[azzeps]

Lately I've been taking my daughter (2.75) out for a drive to get her to go to sleep.  Sometimes its because we're coming home from grandma's where she stays all day and then we all eat dinner and I give her a bath and she goes to sleep on the way home.  But the other nights where we're home, I've been planning evening outings just so I can stick her in her jammies and drive the long way home "looking for christmas lights" so that she'll fall asleep.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I dread bedtime.  DH is away on business - 10 day international trip - so I'm without back up right now.  And I just need the "me" time in the evenings, because she doesn't nap.  And I get really short on patience sitting with her and trying to get her to sleep.  It's a real drag and often entails several screaming fits, trips to the bathroom, reading, books, singing, whining, crying, backrubbing, etc. etc. etc. 

Sorry, not sure what I really wanted from this post.  I'm just so TIRED of BEDTIME and I HATE it!!!!!!  Why won't my kid just go to sleep??????

[lifeguard]

I hate bedtime too. And honestly, if driving did the trick I'd do it - but I can't get ds into the house without waking him.

Sometimes we just have to do what works - although long term we know it won't work.

[Wild Lupine]

2.75 was a tough age for putting my daughter to sleep. I remember it taking a long, long time and got very frustrated with it.

And when DH was away, spending that much time at bed time with her wasn't an option. I had a 1 y.o., too, and they needed completely different routines.

We spent a lot of evenings in the car. Like you, I planned evening outings, but there were also a fair number of nights where I got them in their jammies, picked out a lulabye CD, and headed off for a drive.

It was a phase, it passed. Once DD outgrew the need for naps she started falling asleep really quickly at night. I never need to take them for a drive anymore and can now put the two kids together at the same time and it doesn't take too long.

Like Lifeguard says, sometimes it's just a matter of whatever works in the moment.

[jellybeanmumma]

I sometimes get so jealous when people tell me their kids just fall asleep in the car but when you say it I'm stoked for you cause it sounds like you need that break. Sometimes for naps we get away with it but at bedtime he wakes up before we get in the house. If you're flying solo for 10 days you got to do what works for you and fighting the bedtime battle is hard enough with back-up. My DS has just kicked the great bedtime routine we worked so hard for and is back to kicking, screaming, rocking etc so I really feel for you. I was thinking tonight that sleep is just a big bully the way it fights so hard with small children. Honestly watching him thrashing around tonight was like watching some crazy exorcism or something. I didn't know whose side I was on.. sleep won after an hour but DS fought the good fight...

[Cutie Patootie]

I think you do what you have to do when you need to, but I think always driving to sleep is a bad idea.  It creates a habit and when you aren't able to drive for some reason, your bedtime is going to be all the worse.  It happened to my sil with her 2yo and she said she would never do that again.  Why not create another quick habit and stick to that.  If you are *no nonsense* about staying in bed and going to sleep, it usually works after a short learning curve. 

[azzeps]

Thanks for the empathy.  I think I needed that more than anything. "This too shall pass" is my new mantra.

[HappyMonkey]

Azzeps I have been doing something similar.. come nap time (often where I end up staying in our co-sleeping bed the whole time) I often get in the car with her and let her sleep while I drive to town (one hour away) to do errands. I listen to amazing books on CD from the library while I drive, so it's really nurturing personal time, plus nap time. There have been days where I go for one small item because I so need the break.

So I hear you.. and I understand too!

[mommykerrie]

hey, whatever it takes! when i had my 2nd, they were both nursing and i often dreaded naptimes b/c i'd nurse them both and then someone would wake up and wake the other one, blah blah blah. then i started waiting til they both looked sleepy and drove them around for naps, then transferred them to the couch for some Mommy TV Time!

it will pass ...until then, put on some good music, mama, and enjoy the ride ... haha!

[sillysmile]

I agree.. whatever it takes :) I drove my DD for naps for a long time when she was younger, and it really was a good break for me as the alternative was spending an hour getting her to sleep, and then lying trapped while she slept ever-so-lightly on my lap. Some people thought that I was crazy, but it was just SO much easier at the time, and eventually passed. One thing we recently tried and have had some success with is lighting a candle at night, in the living room, and having what used to be the first part of the bedtime routine up there. We do stories, songs, drink water, etc.. and then when we blow the candle out, we go to the bedroom and the rule is that it's quiet time. We still listen to calm music and rock, but no singing etc. That really helped us set a firm boundary between calm pre-bed activities (that actually weren't always so calm) and the time to actually fall asleep. Good luck!

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by Cutie Patootie 

I think you do what you have to do when you need to, but I think always driving to sleep is a bad idea.  It creates a habit and when you aren't able to drive for some reason, your bedtime is going to be all the worse.  It happened to my sil with her 2yo and she said she would never do that again.  Why not create another quick habit and stick to that.  If you are *no nonsense* about staying in bed and going to sleep, it usually works after a short learning curve. 

Agree.  I'd rather come up with some solid bedtime rules and deal with drama for a couple of days of that then get into a poor habit like driving to sleep.  Not to say you don't just do what you need to do sometimes of course! 

[azzeps]

So tonight was probably a fluke, but bedtime went great.  No struggle to get her in the tubby, read one long story, turned out the light and told her I'd be across the hall cleaning up my sewing room.  She said, okay, I'm going to read this book in the dark.  She saw me put 2 of her books out in the hall, came and got them, got back in bed, and was asleep by 8:30 pm.  All by herself.  I'm sure it won't be repeated for a long time, but hey, it gives me hope that I won't burn up half a tank of gas every night getting her to sleep!!

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by azzeps 

So tonight was probably a fluke, but bedtime went great.  No struggle to get her in the tubby, read one long story, turned out the light and told her I'd be across the hall cleaning up my sewing room.  She said, okay, I'm going to read this book in the dark.  She saw me put 2 of her books out in the hall, came and got them, got back in bed, and was asleep by 8:30 pm.  All by herself.  I'm sure it won't be repeated for a long time, but hey, it gives me hope that I won't burn up half a tank of gas every night getting her to sleep!!

Glad you had a good night!  Keep your expectations high now for tonight.  One of the biggest mistakes I made sleep wise with my son was not having high enough expectations.