She wouldn't leave him alone,the friends gf who insists on being called auntie! - Page 2

[Tigerchild]

Hmmm, I hope you won't take this the wrong way--but frankly whether he stays with this girl or breaks up with her doesn't have much to do with you.   So there's no reason for you to feel bad if he breaks up with her--it wouldn't be because of you.  Even if he chose to only stay with someone his friends approved of--that's still his own choice.

I think that's why you don't give him an ultimatum (Leave her or never see me again), but couch it more as the choices that everyone can make.  You like him, you like to spend time with him, but you don't want her around you or your baby.  No harm no foul if he decides it's better to stick with his GF, most people do that with romantic partners.  But that is a choice that is his, as to how he wants to handle friends who don't welcome his GF.

Also, asking about BC was mostly rhetorical.  I think if honestly a man would entertain that kind of private discussion of the sex life between his girlfriend and himself with a hostile (towards the GF) third party--he doesn't have very good boundaries.  Which may be why he's with someone like that, or she's feeling particularly needy.  Just sayin'.

[MamitaM]

He isn't the type to kiss and tell. I don't think he'd tell me anything to personal about their sex life even if I did ask details. I think if I make a 1/2 joke about using some birth controls it's ok and he'll answer the truth in a joking way. Or I can just be blunt and tell him I'm worried she will trick him into having a baby when he isn't ready and I hope he is doing what he can to avoid that. I have all ready told him that I hope he's happy with her and that's all I want for him in regards to their relationship.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild 
I'd also have to kind of wonder about your friend.  Does he not have much in the way of social skills, and you are just accustomed to him?  Kind of odd that he passively stands around and lets a GF whom he's not even serious about start to ruin two friendships, but...his choice.

I've seen people of both genders get sucked into dynamics that ruin friendships, and many of those people had great social skills. They just either 1) were so infatuated that they really couldn't see the other persons flaws, or 2) the relationship had gone either full-on abusive (sometimes physically, but not always) or involved a lot of manipulative "feel sorry for me" stuff. I don't know if that's the case for the OP's friend, but it wouldn't surprise me at all.

[camracrazy]

I think, if it were me, I would say something to your friend like, "I really feel uncomfortable when gf insists on being called auntie and is all over the baby especially when she is in MY personal space when the baby is in the wrap. Next time she does this, I plan on saying XYZ to her." That way, he knows you have a problem and how you plan to address it. He can either choose to discuss it with gf before seeing you again, or he can let you say something yourself, but it won't be coming totally out of left field and shock him. If it happens again, absolutely follow through with whatever you plan to say.

I've had to do this before when dh's sister was making very hurtful remarks. I told him that the next time she said something, I was going to do/say xyz. I guess he didn't want me to confront her (I wouldn't have been nice) so he talked to her. I never heard a word out of her again about that subject.

[Irishmommy]

At this point I wouldn't be saying "sorry but" or "I feel...".  I'd be saying "DON'T CALL YOURSELF AUNTIE, YOU'RE NOT AUNTIE.  DON'T TOUCH THE BABY IN THE SLING.  GET OUT OF MY SPACE".  Piss me off, and I stop being subtle.

[mattemma04]

Tell your friend you will visit him without her.I would not want booger fingers touching my baby.She sounds so annoying.

[Kidzaplenty]

Yeah, I don't know her motives, and I would not really care.  The moment she invaded my space (or Baby's) and did not stop at first notice, I would have responded, "Hey Lady!  BACK OFF!"  Apparently, being subtle does not work.  And as for the Auntie thing, I would respond with, "You are NOT Baby's aunt" EACH and EVERY time she said it.  And if it continued, tell her to leave.

I can't handle people like that.

[lilyka]

She just sounds so desperate and sad :(  

however.

She must be stopped.  be blunt.  you have tried subtle.  didn't work.  Now just tell her to back off.  maybe hand the baby off to someone and invite her to sit down for a chat....then be really really clear once the baby is out of her line of vision and she can concentrate.