(Mods, I know this could also go in parents as partners but it's specific to being a SAHM which is why I'm posting it here.)
So a little background of our schedule. DP works 42h a week but he's gone more like 57h and busy more often then that. DP buses to and from work. It's a 1 hour bus (if he makes the right bus on time). So he gets up at 7am, gets ready, leaves the house at 8am to be to work by 9. Then he works until 6pm except 2 nights a week when he works until 7pm. The bus doesn't come right when he gets off of work so the earliest he is home is about 7:15 and the latest he is home is about 8:30pm. Then he has band practice here at our house on Wed nights and Sat afternoons. A typical Wed he would be gone 12 hours and then get home and go right downstairs and practice until bedtime. So it's literally a day that I have the kids all.day.long with no break. Needless to say, Wed are my hardest days.
DD is showing some signs of SPD and ADHD and she's been very high needs as of late. I also have a 4 month old at home so my day is pretty filled with kid stuff. But I also manage to get a load or two of laundry done, a load of dishes, feed the kids three meals a day, have dinner for DP when he gets home and typically I'll pack him our left overs for his lunch the next day. I also try to get some cleaning done every day. The house usually looks in pretty decent shape, and it get a good cleaning (sweep, vacuum, scrub toilets, etc) twice a week when I know there will be people in my home. I also handle the grocery shopping, meal planning, bill paying, and any other trips or phone calls that need to be made.
I'm starting to lose it. If for no other reason, but because I'm feeling that the duties are a bit uneven. I realize that DP has a stressful day as well, but at least he gets to get out of the house and have adult interactions. He gets to do something to feel self confident. Something that's just for him. I'm seriously ready to go out and get a job making just enough money to put the kids in daycare just so I can have some me time. This last Wed I had a melt down after his bandmates finally left at 12am and DP had woken the baby up TWICE after I had gotten him to sleep. It was bad and I realized after that, although I really need DP to step it up and equalize the responsibilities a little bit better, I wasn't actually mad at him. I just need an outlet. A bit of me time.
So my question is, for all of you SAHP, how do you balance your duties to the family with your own identity and personal satisfaction? Do you demand some hours of away time? Do you try and sneak it into your day? What hobbies do you have?