what have you done to win "mother of the year?"

[shanniesue2]

tonight I was making a run to the liquor store for a bottle of wine (silly Oklahoma liquor laws).  Just as I was leaving, this was the conversation I had with DS (2 1/2 y.o.)

DS: I wanna go with you, mama

me:  you can't go with me this time

DS:  but why?

me:  because I'm going to the liquor store and they won't let little boys go in

20 minutes later, I walk through the door

DS: Hi mama!  Did you get some liquor?

me:  (laughing) yeah, I did

DS:  I want some liquor!

me:  nope!

DS:  but why?

me:  you have to be 21

[ChristyMarie]

My son has plastic martini shakers in his play kitchen and makes martinis.  Not that he knows what a martini is...  LOL.

[Stephenie]

During Thanksgiving dinner, my 3.5 year old son. who was still grumpy from his nap was having a hard time getting the pie to stay on his fork. He said "This pumpkin pie is really pissing me off!" And instead of correcting him, I just laughed uncontrollably for about a minute. 

[waiting2bemommy]

today on the city bus ds announced that he had to pee and could not wait. We had only paid for a single ride each and not bought transfers since it was a straight shot, so rather than drag everyone off the bus, find a store with a bathroom, etc and then pay to get back on the bus, I waited until there was a crowded bus stop, and the minute the bus stopped to let people on, I flung ds out the back doors of the bus and propped them open while he peed on the tire.

I would like to add in my defense that it was almost dark out. But I'm still mortified about it.

[butterfly_mommy]

Yeah today in the car while I  was driving my daycare child home (almost  4) DS (almost 3) said something about the driver's seat being Dada's seat and I  said but I drive the car more. then he said "yeah but when you drive you say friken cars"  

[StoriesInTheSoil]

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy 

today on the city bus ds announced that he had to pee and could not wait. We had only paid for a single ride each and not bought transfers since it was a straight shot, so rather than drag everyone off the bus, find a store with a bathroom, etc and then pay to get back on the bus, I waited until there was a crowded bus stop, and the minute the bus stopped to let people on, I flung ds out the back doors of the bus and propped them open while he peed on the tire.

I would like to add in my defense that it was almost dark out. But I'm still mortified about it.

I am cracking up picturing this!

[Sfcmama]

Not once but TWICE in one night I dropped my iPhone DIRECTLY on to the face/forehead of my sleeping nursling. (while reading MDC posts, of course!)

[littlemizflava]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 

Not once but TWICE in one night I dropped my iPhone DIRECTLY on to the face/forehead of my sleeping nursling. (while reading MDC posts, of course!)

my poor ds has suffered that even now at 4 when he wants a cuddle when over sleepy he risks a iphone clunk. with my dd it was pocket novels
 

 

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy 

today on the city bus ds announced that he had to pee and could not wait. We had only paid for a single ride each and not bought transfers since it was a straight shot, so rather than drag everyone off the bus, find a store with a bathroom, etc and then pay to get back on the bus, I waited until there was a crowded bus stop, and the minute the bus stopped to let people on, I flung ds out the back doors of the bus and propped them open while he peed on the tire.

I would like to add in my defense that it was almost dark out. But I'm still mortified about it.

man i would die to see a vid of this. you are so very lucky mine would never pee outside no matter what. there has been times i have begged them to just pee. 

[Eeyore35]

Oh,so many things...my 5 yr old daughter has been known to bring me a wine cooler and a bottle opener and say"here mommy, have a grown-up drink".

A couple weeks ago, my friend watched her for a day while I attended my grandmother's' funeral. At some point during the day, my friend dropped something on her foot, and said the f-word. And my dd says "my mommy says that sometimes" .

[Turtlecouple]

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 

[elsa_elsa]

Originally Posted by Turtlecouple 

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 

[Smokering]

They don't let kids INTO liquor stores in Oklahoma? How bizarre! The guy at our liquor store offers DD a lollipop whenever we go in. (We say no. Heh.) :p

My two-year-old casually greeted me with "Hey, monkey-face" yesterday. I've also, in recent days, been called "possum-mouse", "cockroach", "doggy-milkshake", "changing-mat-head", "custard square" and "Superman-Batman". On the other hand, she has a tender side. She came up and patted me the other day, saying "Awwww, Mummy, so pretty! I love you arms... I love you hands... don't chop you hands off." Well, OK then.

Oh, and another from yesterday: "I have to sit onna baby in you tummy. I NEEEEEEED to squash him!"

[odenata]

This reminded me of a story about a couple I used to babysit for.

One morning before school, the husband was getting ready to go on a trip for work, needed cash for the trip, and so the wife gave him what she had in her wallet before he leaves. 

That afternoon, when picking her daughter up from school, a concerned teacher approaches her and says, "Your daughter told me about what happened, and if you need any help right now, please let me know."  The mom looks at her questioningly, and the teacher explains, "She told me how your husband took all your money and left town."

Originally Posted by Turtlecouple 

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 

[Zan&Zav]

Originally Posted by odenata 

This reminded me of a story about a couple I used to babysit for.

One morning before school, the husband was getting ready to go on a trip for work, needed cash for the trip, and so the wife gave him what she had in her wallet before he leaves. 

That afternoon, when picking her daughter up from school, a concerned teacher approaches her and says, "Your daughter told me about what happened, and if you need any help right now, please let me know."  The mom looks at her questioningly, and the teacher explains, "She told me how your husband took all your money and left town."

Originally Posted by Turtlecouple 

This was a few years ago when DS1 was 4 years old...DH took him out to run errands, I stayed home watching "The Wire" on DVD. They came home in the middle of an episode, so I turned it off. DS1 - What are you watching Mama?

me - oh, just a show.

DS1 - what show?

me - it's a show for adults.

DS1 - is it like a movie?

me - hun? yeah, I guess so.

A few days later,  I go to pick him up from pre-school and get to talking to some of the other moms while he's getting his stuff ready and he's having a conversation with his teacher and all of a sudden I hear him say "My mom likes to watch adult movies!" 

Milk. all over the computer screen. my kids would do this. i love it. my 4 year old has autism and he will repeat convos word for word that he has overheard. its not a good scene lol.

[shanniesue2]

(how on earth do you get the quote feature to work?!)

RE:  bus peeing incident--- I believe this wins the award, hands down!!!!

RE:  Oklahoma liquor laws--yes, they are crazy... if you want to buy anything over 3.2 alcohol (which apparently you can only find in Oklahoma) you have to go to a liquor store... no grocery store finds, no trader joe's, or anything like that.  And anyone under 21 is not allowed in.  I know a lady who OWNS a liquor store, and even she can't bring her toddler into her own store.  They warned her about this when she was pregnant, said that if she was caught with her baby in the store, that she would get a citation.  That's just the county that I live in.  Some counties are still dry.  And some have more stringent laws... like I went to a restaurant once and wanted to order a margarita... the closest thing they had was a margarita flavored wine cooler... Now, they could have mixed a drink for me if I had brought my own liquor, but the couldn't sell me anything over 3.2.

[musikat]

When my now 8 year old was about 2 or 3 I let him "taste" my wine by dipping a butter knife in it (thinking he wouldn't like it). Wrong! So a couple of weeks later we were out to dinner with my parents at a nice restaurant and I had a glass of wine. He kept asking to taste it and when it was all gone I told him there wasn't any more. He loudly stated "I need more wine!"

That same 8 year old's favorite evening TV shows now are NCIS, Bones and Medium, but we drew the line at Glee because of sexual content and talk.

My three year old will tell you that I am allowed to say "dammit" but he is only allowed to say "darnit."

[shanniesue2]

Just thought of another one... we were watching Talladega Nights one evening... and DS LOVED watching the race cars... he picked up the "shake and bake" line... and now when he does anything cool, he'll hold out his fist for a fist bump and says "shake and bake."  We were at the park a couple of weeks ago and he did this (mind you, he's not 3 yet) and a dad standing nearby burst out laughing and said, "you guys don't watch a lot of talladega nights, do you?"  sigh...stellar parenting, I tell ya

[KristyDi]

I had to call poison control twice in the space of 4 days. DD was obsessed with medicine for a while.  1st she got into a bottle of children's bynadryl I keep in my purse then she got one of DH's lactose intolerance pills.
 

Originally Posted by shanniesue2 

(how on earth do you get the quote feature to work?!)

RE:  bus peeing incident--- I believe this wins the award, hands down!!!!

RE:  Oklahoma liquor laws--yes, they are crazy... if you want to buy anything over 3.2 alcohol (which apparently you can only find in Oklahoma) you have to go to a liquor store... no grocery store finds, no trader joe's, or anything like that.  And anyone under 21 is not allowed in.  I know a lady who OWNS a liquor store, and even she can't bring her toddler into her own store.  They warned her about this when she was pregnant, said that if she was caught with her baby in the store, that she would get a citation.  That's just the county that I live in.  Some counties are still dry.  And some have more stringent laws... like I went to a restaurant once and wanted to order a margarita... the closest thing they had was a margarita flavored wine cooler... Now, they could have mixed a drink for me if I had brought my own liquor, but the couldn't sell me anything over 3.2.

The town I went to college in was semi-dry.  Restaurants and some stores could sell beer or wine, but no liquor anywhere.  There was a Mexican restaurant just off campus that sold a frozen "margarita" made with cheap wine.  
 

[Honey693]

DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"

[MissMaegie'sMama]

Originally Posted by Honey693 

DD now calls the dog a dumbass and can say "I hate Tom Brady"

Hilarious! In the same vein, DD2 (2 years old) came into the living room during the Packers/Vikes game a couple weekends ago just as DH pointed out Brett Favre to DD1. DD2 takes one look at DH and says, "He's a has-been!"

(Yeah, we're Packers fans.)