Need Advice--Went Way Too Fast at start for Kindergarten--EEEK!!!

[enzo917]

Hi everybody, just need some advice on how to get my 5 year old son "back." We just started homeschooling in August through a charter school. He seemed so ready to learn; he would ask everyday for more and more math, reading, writing, etc. So, I was just following his lead. (My bad). Speed up to present day and now there are huge power struggles to get anything done. And, more than that his behavior is out of character. He's very frustrated and volatile. Our ES (education specialist) said we've been doing WAY too much and need to slow down. The problem is, I don't know what to do to get him interested again. I guess it's a hard lesson to learn on my part that just because he may be ready mentally he might very well not be ready emotionally. Oh, the lessons we learn!

Thanks in advance for any sage advice you may have!

Cheers!

Danielle

(mama of Enzo 5 in Sept and Mia almost 2)

[mamatoady]

My thoughts...

Do real math appropriate for his age through creative play (lets make muffins for your dinosaurs...how many dinosaurs?  How many muffins?  or whatever...)

Read to him Read to him Read to him...unless he asks again, I wouldn't do formal lessons for learning to read.  Do large and fine moter skill stuff to prepare his brain for that type of thing like working clay, painting, sand play, jumping, skipping, balancing etc. 

darn, my little one is waking up...I'll be back

Sarah

[sapphire_chan]

August, September, October, November....aside from Thanksgiving, did you have any breaks in there? Maybe he's just ready for a vacation? Especially since you guys were working so fast and are probably well along in the curriculum, I'd just let school things go for awhile. Don't even do "games" that are really learning, because he sounds like a bright kid who'll spot that and it could make things worse.

Go ahead and bake cookies, and double recipes and all that stuff that's part of your life, but just do it normally, don't make a deal out of it or ask him to do the calculations for you.

[inky leeuhhh]

i agree with the pp's . i'd pretty much stop all formal lessons. living life at that age is learning!

[Lisa1970]

Drop the boring, busywork charter school. Let him be a kid again. He will eventually love learning again and be right back to learning as he was before.

[yippityskippity]

I don't think you messed up following his lead at the beginning.  I think it would be pretty messed up to have squashed his interest.  Just continue to follow his lead now.  Sounds like, in his own way, he's asking for a break.  He might be the kind of child who works hard and fast and then needs a few weeks or months for the new information to 'percolate' in his brain before he's ready for more.  My older DD is very much like that.

Go to the library and find good books to read together.  Check out the books Games for Learning or Family Math.  Play board games.  Play with Cuisennaire rods, geoboards, pattern blocks.  Go to cultural events and parades and call it 'social studies.'  Find out what science topics interest him and read books and do experiments together ... when he wants to.  

[moominmamma]

I agree with yippityskippity. If he was asking for more and enjoying it, following his lead was the right thing to do. However it sounds like maybe you missed responding to his later cues, the ones that said "I've had enough of this for now." Following a child's lead means not only following when he wants more and faster but also when he wants less and slower -- or something altogether different. Which is what it sounds like he's telling you now.

Miranda

[enzo917]

Thank You all SO very much for the wonderful advice. :)

[cappuccinosmom]

We did that to my oldest too. :(  He was ready to learn, but I think I missed his cue when he was ready to cool it down a little.

He is in online classes this year because I saw that he needed to sloooooooow down.  This way he can't whip through his math book in 3 months.  And he could do it, but I'm not sure how much would be really learned or retained at the 3rd grade level doing that.

It sounds like the ES is good with you slowing down.  Maybe you could arrange with her an extended Christmas break, and then pick things up at a slower pace afterwards?  I would generally follow the curriculum, but just do *one* lesson a day (we found we could easily fit in 1.5-2 lessons per day of Calvert for kindergarten and even most of first grade.)  Spend a lot of (relaxed) time at the library, encourage him to get books that he's interested in.  Look for ways for him to pursue learning in real life situations.  Find ways to tie his interests into the lessons in the curric. Spend more time talking with him than doing bookwork.

[Smokering]

Sounds like he could use a "deschooling" period - even though it wasn't "real" school, it sounds like it was pretty full-on academic, like school, so similar principles might apply here?

[Lillian J]

Besides deschooling, I wonder about starting to think more in terms of later starting into some interesting activities that he can enjoy and find the kind of stimulation in that he was apparently looking for when this all began, without the more challenging and needs and sometimes boring repetition that traditional math, reading, and writing activities bring. Games, of course, can go a long way, as well as science experiments (without trying to make them into lessons), building, certain kinds of crafts, puzzles, chalk drawing, sand play with figures and other imaginative props, blocks, costumes, bubbles, fort making supplies (cloths, etc.) - in other words, lots of support for exploration and imaginative play and conversation that can really let his mind soar without finding himself feeling grinding through. I really don't think it will take long for him to get comfortable again, but I'd sure steer clear of that charter school and just start exploring on your own.  ;)  Lillian

[Mizelenius]

My take is that children are born ready to learn.  They are learning in the womb.  I don't think you will do anything now that will make your son not "ready to learn" or "not learn" unless you deprive him of all basic needs.  I would not use language to distinguish between "real learning" and everything else because it devalues what children do naturally.