13-month old slapping and scratching my face

[Jerlin]

My 13-month old recently just started and scratching my face (and daddy's too). I've said ow and even pretended to cry sometimes. I also take his hand and tell him gentle and guide his hand gently over my face. But once I remove my hands from his, he goes back to slapping and scratching. He just uses his other hand to slap and scratch the other side of my face. I will not spank, not even a little pop on the butt. I will not yell at him either. Any advice would be appreciated!  

[thedenverduo]

My son started doing this around 12 or 13 months.  I really don't think he knows that it is causing us pain, it is just another way of interacting.  I found that saying ow or using a stern voice or any other strong reaction just cemented the behavior.

Instead every single time he hit or scratched or headbutted us (I know right, headbutting?) we said "gentle" did the sign for gentle and showed him how to stroke or touch us gently,  Then we would sit with him and a pillow or couch cushion and show him how to hit it or scratch it or headbutt it.  I don't think the hitting was the problem, just that he was hitting a person.  My ds has a lot of physical energy and it is just about channeling that.

Now he is 15 months and will hit the couch cushion of his own accord.  Occasionally he will hit or touch roughly and we just say "gentle, Solomon" and he will do the sign for gentle and then touch whoever it is gently.

HTH!

[Courtney-Ostaff]

Ditto the gentle.  You have to show him what gentle touching is.  Take his hand and stroke your face and make happy noises.  My daughter got good at it after a couple of weeks.  Too, she had just figured out that she had nails. ;)  

[faithrainbow]

Ditto ditto on the above!  And if he does it again right afterwards, put him down.  If he wants to come back up, say, "Are you ready to touch gently?" And when you lift him up, help/let him touch you gently.  He's just learning about what's appropriate and what's not appropriate!

[cyclamen]

Yep, I agree with the other posters... give him another avenue to channel his energy.  Show him gentle touches, teach him how to give enthusiastic kisses, have him give you high fives, tell him, "Hug mama!" or "Bite blankie!"  They are experimenting to find out what is a good way to give that affectionate energy and it really helps if you can redirect to alternatives.

I did try swatting DD on the butt a few times and I can say that it didn't work (she laughed and thought it was a hilarious game), but redirection and giving her positive alternatives 100% has.  We've even begun working on teaching her not to pull down my shirt when she wants to nurse by me showing her how to put her hands on her lap and say, "Please."  I usually have to remind her when she starts tugging, "How do you ask?" but she'll pull her hands right down and say, "Peese!"

But yeah, you gotta do it every single time, and expect for it to really take months to sink in.  Also expect to have to cue alot with, "Gentle!" or "kisses!"  etc