Okay, so, this is what happened...
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I was supposed to go there around noon but things came up so we didn't get there until about 5:30. The original plan was for me to pack as much stuff as possible in my dad's car and ex would take my bike and anything else and drive it back to town (he lives an hour away) and that we would do it all that day and be done with it. Since ex was going into work when we left he said he would bring my bike and anything else at a later date. The ex-fiance-now-girlfriend-again was going to be there. He said my stuff was, "boxed up and ready to go."
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So, we get there and it's already dark (it's out in the country so no lovely street lights to help). She showed me my stuff. It was outside, in boxes, under a tarp and on top of some planks to keep it raised. She asked if I needed help and I told her my dad was helping me and we were fine. As I was getting my things (with only a flashlight to see) I could tell there were things ruined. Not everything was even in the boxes, and it was obviously very halfassed. I just started bringing stuff to the car and ignored everything and put it out of my mind. No point in freaking out when the goal is to just get my things and be done with it.
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Then I went inside to look through there to make sure I got everything. There were several things inside (a bag of electronics, some dishes, etc.). Oh, and when I first walked up my TV was sitting on the table outside and she told me that she brought it out earlier that day so not to worry, it hadn't been out in the weather, they had kept it inside the whole time so it wouldn't get ruined. (I'm now sure that it was kept inside ONLY because they were using it, otherwise everything else would have been kept inside.Â
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Ex-fiance-now-girlfriend-again played nice. She talked to me like everything was fine. She asked how my appointments were going and I just told her everything was fine. She asked if there was anything I needed for the baby and I just said cloth diapers (technically, that's all I NEED, but my list of needs are boobs, diapers, clothes and a car seat, because I can't afford anything not absolutely necessary). Anyway, so she just kept chatting up a storm which I kind of went along with. When I left she told me to keep her updated because she likes hearing how baby things are going. I told her that I have a whole list of people asking to be updated so I'm just telling everyone to ask me since it's more of a hassle to specifically update them all (a nicer way of saying, "Umm...I don't really care to update you. If you want to know, ask, otherwise I'm not going to waste my time on you.").Â
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I find it odd that SHE is the one who asks how everything is going and if I need anything. Ex hasn't asked ANYTHING about the baby since the split. I also find it funny how in the dead middle of summer in Texas he took WEEKS to get electricity so I could have AC and actually breathe in the house and not puke from being overheated, yet he's done all sorts of work in the place fixing it up to make it livable for her.Â
 But that's just a minor irritation, I'll get over it soon enough.
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What makes me absolutely livid is how my things were treated. Nearly all of my books were absolutely ruined. Water damage, mold, dirt, etc. I did the math and it's about $300 worth of books face value. Various other things (electronics, kitchen stuff, clothes, etc.) were ruined. Even my pictures of DS were affected. I had two 8x10's in frames, but thankfully those were ones that I spent $2.50 a piece to print. But his ultrasound photos were in the pile. Thank GOD/DESS for cheap photo frames. I think it was the type of paper they're printed on plus the plastic covering them in the frame (as opposed to glass) that saved them. They were very clearly affected by the water - they actually STUCK to the plastic. But thankfully they pulled off with no tears, only one of them has a couple barely there grey dots where mold was starting. But the frames themselves were totally trashed.
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All my things were thrown in boxes, bags or just set on the side. One box actually had various bits of trash and insulation in it. Clearly he just grabbed whatever boxes were lying around. Things were just thrown in there with no care taken at all. A couple things DS made were at the bottom of the soaked, warped boxes. I took pictures of everything and documented it all.
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Now, here is where my various dilemmas lie....
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I do plan to get the rest of my stuff (he has my bike - which I cannot afford to replace, helmet and some mail...everything else is just little things that I don't care about). I'm debating whether to have him bring it or if I should go there during the daytime when it's light out and I can actually see everything and double check and perhaps sneak some pictures (due to it being dark there was no way I was going to be able to even sneak pictures of the pile of alcohol bottles near where my stuff was - I would have had to use the flash and ex-fiance-now-gf would have seen it).Â
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I'm also debating how to go about confronting him (if at all) on the whole "you ruined my stuff" subject. I was thinking of saying something along the lines of, "You are very lucky that I want nothing to do with you and that is the ONLY reason why I haven't already filed suit against you for ruining my things. If you EVER pull anything on me again, I will take you to court immediately. By anything I mean in regards to me, my things, either of my children, custody, etc., you will be seeing me in court." Basically to *hint hint* that his best way of NOT being sued is to basically drop of the face of the earth and never have anything to do with me or this baby ever again. And obviously try to figure out a better wording for it. So...opinions on that? I'm sure I'm going to get some "don't do it" responses, so I'd just like to hear in general what you ladies think and why.
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I was originally planning on sending him an email that basically says, "Due to your lack of interest I will not be sending you updates on the baby unless you specifically ask." I did this with DS's biodad (a CYA measure, though I never needed it as he never cared about having anything to do with DS)...I have waited to do it only because I wanted to get my stuff to avoid any possible retaliation. Now I'm considering doing it but adding, "If you would like to be notified when the baby is born please let me know." Should I? Because, honestly, I would really LOVE an excuse to not notify him at all. I originally figured I would call his parents and ask that they pass on the word. Then, after this, I figured maybe I should just text him...but that means he would find out sooner and I don't want to deal with him at all. So I thought maybe I could just email/facebook him when it happens (he rarely checks his email/facebook - I honestly think he would get word from mutual friends before he read his mail). But I honestly don't know...I just don't want to tell him at all but if he does want custody and takes ME to court it will look bad, so I need to cover my butt somehow.
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I think that's all for now in regards to my dilemmas. A wave of pregnancy brain is hitting me right now.Â
 But, man, this is just so frustrating. He treated me so horribly for so long...and then to do THIS. I did NOTHING to deserve this. The only thing I did was get pregnant with his baby. And he just tossed my things outside for WEEKS to sit outside in the dirt and mud through at least one storm. There is no way this stuff wasn't out there for several weeks. It was all water damaged, there was TONS of mold, rust, leaves, dirt and even spiders! I counted 8 spiders that I SAW. Six of which were alive (only one was small) and the other 2 were dead. You could see the nice, intricate webs they made that had obviously been there for some time. One of the dead spiders had been dead so long it was completely dried out and it had a complete web. I even found a bullet slug (I think? I don't shoot guns so I don't know what's what very well lol) in the stuff....good going, ex. He never once told me he put my stuff outside, never once gave me any kind of warning. He purposely destroyed my things and I know he had fun doing it.
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On a positive note, I am now AMAZED at the meds I'm on. I may be frustrated, hurt, sad, angry, etc....but I'm handling it extremely well. I honestly think I'm handling it better than a lot of non-bipolar people in my situation would. I was actually hoping for some kind of irritating, frustrating situation to happen to "test out" my meds...but I wasn't hoping for that test to include my belongings being destroyed by the "father" of my child.Â
 But at least I just feelÂ
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 Not that anyone in their right mind would blame me but I'm pretty proud of myself, nonetheless.Â