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Getting my stuff from ex *UPDATE #10 long, sorry*

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 

So today is the day that I get my things from ex's place, which will be happening in a couple hours. Once it's all said and done, I'm going to cut contact and am highly considering just "disappearing" and not filing for child support as many have suggested.

 

I did, however, find an interesting paper that he left in his backpack (which I'm giving back today). He wrote a list of plants that have psychedelic properties...as in, ILLEGAL. I am most definitely keeping this little gem in case we end up in court for custody. Yay for stupid ex!!! winky.gif

 

Unfortunately, it looks like I will be dealing with his ex-fiance-now-girlfriend (the same girl who tried to attack me - though, I admit, after her initial lunge I did egg her on). I called yesterday and she answered and said she will definitely be there but doesn't know if he will. In some ways I would rather deal with her than him (she at least plays nice and just the sight of him makes me cringe)...and if she pulls anything (which I doubt) my dad will be there as a witness and I have NO problem calling the police and filing assault charges. 

 

WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

post #2 of 23

Good luck! I hope you don't have any troubles getting your things. 

 

I find the 'new girlfriend attitude' to be hilarious! My ex brought his to one of our court cases, and she gave me the stinkiest stink-eye that ever stunk! I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing! 

post #3 of 23
Thread Starter 

This girl is...special, to put it nicely. She was always very nice to me and then when he picked me up from Oklahoma (after he just LEFT me there for an extra week and I had to basically lie to get him to pick me up) he brought her. It was pouring rain and I had to stand outside the car to ask her to get in the back seat so I could sit up front. Really? I'm PREGNANT! Then when we got back, stuff hit the fan and they were going to physically remove me from the car (to which I said I would press assault charges if they put their hands on me and they backed off) and then after that the threatened attack happened. Then a few days later I talked to her on the phone and she was all nice and stuff. I haven't talked to her since until yesterday and she acted nice. She's got a whole history of problems, mostly stemming from her being bipolar (which I am as well, and have a not-so-awesome past as well) but apparently her problems are still active. When they came to pick me up from Oklahoma she had a horrible black eye and the story was that cops beat her up when she went to jail. 

 

Honestly...I just don't trust her as far as I can throw her. Maybe she is, for the most part, a pretty good and nice person. I really don't care because I just can't trust her (or him) so I'm hoping I don't have to deal with either of them ever again.

post #4 of 23

Glad you're getting out of that mess.

 

Hope you aren't depending too much on that list helping with anything though.

post #5 of 23

i remember you! sorry for the hard time the others were giving you on one of you're posts you need encouragement not criticism!

 

that lady sounds filthy and knowing you're back story with that jerk...well i kind of feel for her if he treats her the same. some people cant seem to walk away...

 

good luck! i dont think he will even try for custody dont worry. my friend i wrote you about (idk if you remember from the other post) well his family talked to her for about a month and then nothing...no birthday money or presents or support or nothing. its hard on her but shes glad its that way b/c she doesnt want them involved anyway and certainly not the father!

post #6 of 23
Thread Starter 

Depending? Not at all. But I most certainly will add it to the pile if it comes down to a custody battle, which I'm hoping won't happen! 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post

 

Hope you aren't depending too much on that list helping with anything though.

post #7 of 23
Thread Starter 

Thank you SO much! I was actually quite shocked at that but I guess people alerted the mods (or perhaps the sudden increase in replies did, haha)...it was all removed pretty quickly, not that I care TOO much. But still, ya know.

 

I think they honestly treat each other the same. He's an alcoholic and from what I've heard/seen at BEST she's not far from alcoholism herself (though she definitely has a problem with it). He's also told me things in the past about their previous relationship...didn't sound very good. He said the last straw was when she threw a lamp at him. 

 

Thank you!!! I'm really, really hoping that he just drops out completely (like DS's biodad). It would be nice to get child support, but I'm really unsure if I'll push for it. If I do, it will probably be after months of careful consideration and watching how he acts (assuming he has any contact with me at all after the baby is born). We'll see and I'll definitely be updating here. :)  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

i remember you! sorry for the hard time the others were giving you on one of you're posts you need encouragement not criticism!

 

that lady sounds filthy and knowing you're back story with that jerk...well i kind of feel for her if he treats her the same. some people cant seem to walk away...

 

good luck! i dont think he will even try for custody dont worry. my friend i wrote you about (idk if you remember from the other post) well his family talked to her for about a month and then nothing...no birthday money or presents or support or nothing. its hard on her but shes glad its that way b/c she doesnt want them involved anyway and certainly not the father!

post #8 of 23
Thread Starter 

I survived. I got most everything but he's bringing a couple more things (bike, helmet, a couple other things forgotten) by, hopefully in the next couple of days...I have to call him to figure it out. But nearly all of my stuff is ruined. Water damage, mold, dirt, leaves, doodlebugs, spiders...you name it.

 

I'll give the details later when I'm not so tired and lazy. 

post #9 of 23

i wouldnt even bother getting the rest!

post #10 of 23
Thread Starter 

Okay, so, this is what happened...

 

I was supposed to go there around noon but things came up so we didn't get there until about 5:30. The original plan was for me to pack as much stuff as possible in my dad's car and ex would take my bike and anything else and drive it back to town (he lives an hour away) and that we would do it all that day and be done with it. Since ex was going into work when we left he said he would bring my bike and anything else at a later date. The ex-fiance-now-girlfriend-again was going to be there. He said my stuff was, "boxed up and ready to go."

 

So, we get there and it's already dark (it's out in the country so no lovely street lights to help). She showed me my stuff. It was outside, in boxes, under a tarp and on top of some planks to keep it raised. She asked if I needed help and I told her my dad was helping me and we were fine. As I was getting my things (with only a flashlight to see) I could tell there were things ruined. Not everything was even in the boxes, and it was obviously very halfassed. I just started bringing stuff to the car and ignored everything and put it out of my mind. No point in freaking out when the goal is to just get my things and be done with it.

 

Then I went inside to look through there to make sure I got everything. There were several things inside (a bag of electronics, some dishes, etc.). Oh, and when I first walked up my TV was sitting on the table outside and she told me that she brought it out earlier that day so not to worry, it hadn't been out in the weather, they had kept it inside the whole time so it wouldn't get ruined. (I'm now sure that it was kept inside ONLY because they were using it, otherwise everything else would have been kept inside. eyesroll.gif) 

 

Ex-fiance-now-girlfriend-again played nice. She talked to me like everything was fine. She asked how my appointments were going and I just told her everything was fine. She asked if there was anything I needed for the baby and I just said cloth diapers (technically, that's all I NEED, but my list of needs are boobs, diapers, clothes and a car seat, because I can't afford anything not absolutely necessary). Anyway, so she just kept chatting up a storm which I kind of went along with. When I left she told me to keep her updated because she likes hearing how baby things are going. I told her that I have a whole list of people asking to be updated so I'm just telling everyone to ask me since it's more of a hassle to specifically update them all (a nicer way of saying, "Umm...I don't really care to update you. If you want to know, ask, otherwise I'm not going to waste my time on you."). 

 

I find it odd that SHE is the one who asks how everything is going and if I need anything. Ex hasn't asked ANYTHING about the baby since the split. I also find it funny how in the dead middle of summer in Texas he took WEEKS to get electricity so I could have AC and actually breathe in the house and not puke from being overheated, yet he's done all sorts of work in the place fixing it up to make it livable for her. irked.gif But that's just a minor irritation, I'll get over it soon enough.

 

What makes me absolutely livid is how my things were treated. Nearly all of my books were absolutely ruined. Water damage, mold, dirt, etc. I did the math and it's about $300 worth of books face value. Various other things (electronics, kitchen stuff, clothes, etc.) were ruined. Even my pictures of DS were affected. I had two 8x10's in frames, but thankfully those were ones that I spent $2.50 a piece to print. But his ultrasound photos were in the pile. Thank GOD/DESS for cheap photo frames. I think it was the type of paper they're printed on plus the plastic covering them in the frame (as opposed to glass) that saved them. They were very clearly affected by the water - they actually STUCK to the plastic. But thankfully they pulled off with no tears, only one of them has a couple barely there grey dots where mold was starting. But the frames themselves were totally trashed.

 

All my things were thrown in boxes, bags or just set on the side. One box actually had various bits of trash and insulation in it. Clearly he just grabbed whatever boxes were lying around. Things were just thrown in there with no care taken at all. A couple things DS made were at the bottom of the soaked, warped boxes. I took pictures of everything and documented it all.

 

Now, here is where my various dilemmas lie....

 

I do plan to get the rest of my stuff (he has my bike - which I cannot afford to replace, helmet and some mail...everything else is just little things that I don't care about). I'm debating whether to have him bring it or if I should go there during the daytime when it's light out and I can actually see everything and double check and perhaps sneak some pictures (due to it being dark there was no way I was going to be able to even sneak pictures of the pile of alcohol bottles near where my stuff was - I would have had to use the flash and ex-fiance-now-gf would have seen it). 

 

I'm also debating how to go about confronting him (if at all) on the whole "you ruined my stuff" subject. I was thinking of saying something along the lines of, "You are very lucky that I want nothing to do with you and that is the ONLY reason why I haven't already filed suit against you for ruining my things. If you EVER pull anything on me again, I will take you to court immediately. By anything I mean in regards to me, my things, either of my children, custody, etc., you will be seeing me in court." Basically to *hint hint* that his best way of NOT being sued is to basically drop of the face of the earth and never have anything to do with me or this baby ever again. And obviously try to figure out a better wording for it. So...opinions on that? I'm sure I'm going to get some "don't do it" responses, so I'd just like to hear in general what you ladies think and why.

 

I was originally planning on sending him an email that basically says, "Due to your lack of interest I will not be sending you updates on the baby unless you specifically ask." I did this with DS's biodad (a CYA measure, though I never needed it as he never cared about having anything to do with DS)...I have waited to do it only because I wanted to get my stuff to avoid any possible retaliation. Now I'm considering doing it but adding, "If you would like to be notified when the baby is born please let me know." Should I? Because, honestly, I would really LOVE an excuse to not notify him at all. I originally figured I would call his parents and ask that they pass on the word. Then, after this, I figured maybe I should just text him...but that means he would find out sooner and I don't want to deal with him at all. So I thought maybe I could just email/facebook him when it happens (he rarely checks his email/facebook - I honestly think he would get word from mutual friends before he read his mail). But I honestly don't know...I just don't want to tell him at all but if he does want custody and takes ME to court it will look bad, so I need to cover my butt somehow.

 

 

I think that's all for now in regards to my dilemmas. A wave of pregnancy brain is hitting me right now. orngtongue.gif But, man, this is just so frustrating. He treated me so horribly for so long...and then to do THIS. I did NOTHING to deserve this. The only thing I did was get pregnant with his baby. And he just tossed my things outside for WEEKS to sit outside in the dirt and mud through at least one storm. There is no way this stuff wasn't out there for several weeks. It was all water damaged, there was TONS of mold, rust, leaves, dirt and even spiders! I counted 8 spiders that I SAW. Six of which were alive (only one was small) and the other 2 were dead. You could see the nice, intricate webs they made that had obviously been there for some time. One of the dead spiders had been dead so long it was completely dried out and it had a complete web. I even found a bullet slug (I think? I don't shoot guns so I don't know what's what very well lol) in the stuff....good going, ex. He never once told me he put my stuff outside, never once gave me any kind of warning. He purposely destroyed my things and I know he had fun doing it.

 

On a positive note, I am now AMAZED at the meds I'm on. I may be frustrated, hurt, sad, angry, etc....but I'm handling it extremely well. I honestly think I'm handling it better than a lot of non-bipolar people in my situation would. I was actually hoping for some kind of irritating, frustrating situation to happen to "test out" my meds...but I wasn't hoping for that test to include my belongings being destroyed by the "father" of my child. angry.gif But at least I just feel angry.gif and irked.gif and mecry.gif and a little Cuss.gif.... instead of totally splat.gif Not that anyone in their right mind would blame me but I'm pretty proud of myself, nonetheless. 

post #11 of 23

Leave it alone. Do not contact him any longer, no texts, mails, calls. Ask somebody else to get your bike and close the chapter.

post #12 of 23

I seriously doubt you could do anything in court.  You will get nowhere with this and I'm really surprised you didn't know this is what would happen when you left your stuff there.  Don't send him that email, it will not make you look good and don't contact him anymore.  Taking pictures of alcohol bottles will do nothing and neither will giving them some piece of paper you say is his and has lists of drugs on it.  I wish I could say this in a kinder way...but you really need to disengage from him and work on yourself.  Please do not date or become in any way heavily involved with anyone until you've gotten yourself to a healthy place.  Put yourself and your kids first and do not detour off with any more men.  I hope you aren't "sharing" state support with him anymore.  I hope things look up for you soon.

post #13 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post

I seriously doubt you could do anything in court.  You will get nowhere with this and I'm really surprised you didn't know this is what would happen when you left your stuff there.  Don't send him that email, it will not make you look good and don't contact him anymore.  Taking pictures of alcohol bottles will do nothing and neither will giving them some piece of paper you say is his and has lists of drugs on it.  I wish I could say this in a kinder way...but you really need to disengage from him and work on yourself.  Please do not date or become in any way heavily involved with anyone until you've gotten yourself to a healthy place.  Put yourself and your kids first and do not detour off with any more men.  I hope you aren't "sharing" state support with him anymore.  I hope things look up for you soon.



I honestly had no reason to believe he would do it. But, then again, he has fooled me all along. He fooled me into thinking he was a good guy, he fooled me into thinking that he gave a crap about me or the baby, and somehow I falsely believed that he wouldn't damage my things like that. 

 

Trust me, I've no plans to get involved with anyone at ALL. I'm rather shocked that he has done so already (I know they have a past history, but still...priorities???). With DS I didn't date again until he was over 2 years old. Dating is the LAST thing on my mind right now. lol

 

No, he's off of it now. I have to renew anyway and so even if I wanted to put him on there (which I don't) I wouldn't be able to.

 

Thank you. :) 

 

But on the note of not sending the email...I do worry that, if he takes me to court, it will look bad that I've just point blank cut all contact like that. Ya know? It just scares me. :( 

post #14 of 23

i agree just stop connection IF he wants to know anything leave it up to HIM to find out.

 

what meds are you on? you are very far along in pregnancy to take meds...even zoloft has issues in the third trimester.

 

you living with you're parents yet.

post #15 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeep View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post

I seriously doubt you could do anything in court.  You will get nowhere with this and I'm really surprised you didn't know this is what would happen when you left your stuff there.  Don't send him that email, it will not make you look good and don't contact him anymore.  Taking pictures of alcohol bottles will do nothing and neither will giving them some piece of paper you say is his and has lists of drugs on it.  I wish I could say this in a kinder way...but you really need to disengage from him and work on yourself.  Please do not date or become in any way heavily involved with anyone until you've gotten yourself to a healthy place.  Put yourself and your kids first and do not detour off with any more men.  I hope you aren't "sharing" state support with him anymore.  I hope things look up for you soon.



I honestly had no reason to believe he would do it. But, then again, he has fooled me all along. He fooled me into thinking he was a good guy, he fooled me into thinking that he gave a crap about me or the baby, and somehow I falsely believed that he wouldn't damage my things like that. 

 

Trust me, I've no plans to get involved with anyone at ALL. I'm rather shocked that he has done so already (I know they have a past history, but still...priorities???). With DS I didn't date again until he was over 2 years old. Dating is the LAST thing on my mind right now. lol

 

No, he's off of it now. I have to renew anyway and so even if I wanted to put him on there (which I don't) I wouldn't be able to.

 

Thank you. :) 

 

But on the note of not sending the email...I do worry that, if he takes me to court, it will look bad that I've just point blank cut all contact like that. Ya know? It just scares me. :( 

 

Just being alone doesn't cut it.  You need to really work on yourself, your expectations, and...reality.  When you get to that "good" place you will not be at all surprised by this behavior and you will learn to choose different partners.  From your language in your posts you are really stuck in a codependent/dv-victim mindset.  When you get where you need to be you will not rise to the drama much less participate in it.  You can do it and you are worth the work.  There is a whole new world out there for you.  

 

If you do send him an email don't word it like you'd planned.  That language will only make you look angry and unbalanced, not what you want the courts to see.  If he does take you to court you need to show that you've made a lot of progress in learning to make good choices and in being stable.  It may not seem fair but your life with him makes you look bad too.  You could say something like...."I prefer to communicate by email and will be happy to respond with information about *baby* from this address" that lets you have records and by saying "respond" it puts the ball in his court.  
 

post #16 of 23

Meds during pregnancy are controversial but there are many medications that can be used if the benefits outweigh the small risks.  Sometimes being a good mother means taking the meds not getting off everything.

post #17 of 23

i'm sorry some of your things were damaged.  i don't know what the circumstances were that caused you to leave your things behind.  i had to do that, to separate from stbx, because he would not move out of our house and i needed to be away from him.  when i left, the main thing i needed to bring with me was my kids.  other than that, some clothes, my sewing machine, knitting bag and the quilts i'm currently making for the kids.  not much.

 

when i left, i knew that i may never get any of my stuff back.  it was mostly my clothes, fabric stash, books, photos, the kids' things.  even though he wouldn't *want* those things for himself, i understood that he may get rid of or destroy my stuff.  i was really worried he would trash the house.  he did, as in live like a pig, but not as in property destruction, fortunately.  i ended up losing some things that i really wish i still had (mostly CDs, DVDs, musical instruments and the power tools) but i was lucky in that he left my things alone for the most part, the stuff that was not worth anything.

 

he moved out three months later (or six weeks later, but it took him six weeks to finish moving, so . . . three months total).  when he left, he was permanently moving out of our home.  he had plenty of time and opportunity to take whatever he wanted, so in my opinion, anything he left, he does not want back.  i'm not obligated to store it for him indefinitely, to take care of it, or to pack it up and drop it off.  it's mine now, to throw in the trash, donate, sell or keep.

 

it was nice that they boxed it up for you at all, even if you think they didn't do a very good job.  it's too bad that they left it outside where it got damaged, but it's understandable that they wouldn't want you to spend hours in their house, packing it up.  they also really aren't obligated to bring you your bike and other things.  oh yeah, and you were 5.5 hours late to get your stuff, right?

 

i truly am sorry your things got ruined.  i wish you had been able to take everything with you in the first place.  my point is, while this is unfortunate, it is to be expected when you leave your things behind.  i gather you were not expecting it, so i guess it's just a lesson learned.  i hope some of your things can be rescued with washing.

post #18 of 23
Thread Starter 

 


Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

what meds are you on? you are very far along in pregnancy to take meds...even zoloft has issues in the third trimester.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post

Meds during pregnancy are controversial but there are many medications that can be used if the benefits outweigh the small risks.  Sometimes being a good mother means taking the meds not getting off everything.

 

I'm taking lamotrigine (a mood stabilizer). I was on tegretol, which is also a mood stabilizer, prior to my pregnancy. It worked pretty well for the most part, but it was just too iffy for me to take while pregnant. The lamotrigine looked to be the safest of the mood stabilizer category (I refuse to take an antipsychotic unless it's my last option based on my reaction to the last one). The main issue was high palate and when I got it I was well past the point of that forming. I'm amazed at just how well these meds work. Yes, I had a bit of a down time last night, but I think it was pretty "normal" down for my situation, which is amazing. I'm so, so grateful to have found something that works so well after struggling with meds on and off all these years. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

i agree just stop connection IF he wants to know anything leave it up to HIM to find out.

 

you living with you're parents yet.


But shouldn't I make some kind of official attempt (in writing) to at least let him know what I'm doing? I just worry that if he takes it to court that he'll run to the judge complaining about how I kept him from his child, and I don't want that to happen.

 

I'm moving in with them officially this weekend. orngbiggrin.gif

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post

Just being alone doesn't cut it.  You need to really work on yourself, your expectations, and...reality.  When you get to that "good" place you will not be at all surprised by this behavior and you will learn to choose different partners.  From your language in your posts you are really stuck in a codependent/dv-victim mindset.  When you get where you need to be you will not rise to the drama much less participate in it.  You can do it and you are worth the work.  There is a whole new world out there for you.  

 

If you do send him an email don't word it like you'd planned.  That language will only make you look angry and unbalanced, not what you want the courts to see.  If he does take you to court you need to show that you've made a lot of progress in learning to make good choices and in being stable.  It may not seem fair but your life with him makes you look bad too.  You could say something like...."I prefer to communicate by email and will be happy to respond with information about *baby* from this address" that lets you have records and by saying "respond" it puts the ball in his court.  
 

 

You are very right, I really do need to work on myself. The first partner I mentioned in the OP (the one who was great and then just split)...there were no red flags with him, whatsoever. So I kind of think of him as a fluke (and I think that my bipolar and the fact that I wasn't on the greatest meds was part of it, but I know that most of it was just his immaturity). Anyway...but this baby's "father," for example, and some other past guys I've dated (not seriously, though) I can see very, very quickly where I went wrong in the first place. Even my son's biodad...it wasn't really anything crazy on either of our parts but everything went WAY too fast, which scared the crap out of me, then I tried to get out and stayed out of guilt, and then BC failed and baby happened, then he decided he didn't want to be a parent. If I had been more logical about it, I would have just essentially said, "Look. This is too much for me, I'm sorry, but I can't do it. Ciao!" But I think that's where the whole "cling to people who aren't good for you" thing came in. I didn't really want him, but another part of my brain was saying, "Well, at least he's someone." ...arg. I don't regret it, only because it was a learning experience and, more importantly, because I have my amazing DS. But the whole point is to LEARN from it now. lol 
 

 


 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post

i'm sorry some of your things were damaged.  i don't know what the circumstances were that caused you to leave your things behind.  i had to do that, to separate from stbx, because he would not move out of our house and i needed to be away from him.  when i left, the main thing i needed to bring with me was my kids.  other than that, some clothes, my sewing machine, knitting bag and the quilts i'm currently making for the kids.  not much.

 

when i left, i knew that i may never get any of my stuff back.  it was mostly my clothes, fabric stash, books, photos, the kids' things.  even though he wouldn't *want* those things for himself, i understood that he may get rid of or destroy my stuff.  i was really worried he would trash the house.  he did, as in live like a pig, but not as in property destruction, fortunately.  i ended up losing some things that i really wish i still had (mostly CDs, DVDs, musical instruments and the power tools) but i was lucky in that he left my things alone for the most part, the stuff that was not worth anything.

 

he moved out three months later (or six weeks later, but it took him six weeks to finish moving, so . . . three months total).  when he left, he was permanently moving out of our home.  he had plenty of time and opportunity to take whatever he wanted, so in my opinion, anything he left, he does not want back.  i'm not obligated to store it for him indefinitely, to take care of it, or to pack it up and drop it off.  it's mine now, to throw in the trash, donate, sell or keep.

 

it was nice that they boxed it up for you at all, even if you think they didn't do a very good job.  it's too bad that they left it outside where it got damaged, but it's understandable that they wouldn't want you to spend hours in their house, packing it up.  they also really aren't obligated to bring you your bike and other things.  oh yeah, and you were 5.5 hours late to get your stuff, right?

 

i truly am sorry your things got ruined.  i wish you had been able to take everything with you in the first place.  my point is, while this is unfortunate, it is to be expected when you leave your things behind.  i gather you were not expecting it, so i guess it's just a lesson learned.  i hope some of your things can be rescued with washing.



He basically kicked me out. Well...I went back to Dallas (it's an hour away) to stay with my family for the weekend and on Sunday I went back there and he said he locked the place and that was that (actually, I know he didn't lock the place because I have the key and the thing has NEVER been locked in the entire time he's owned it, but considering it's at the end of a tiny private road with his UAV friends around, I wasn't about to go down there). At the time the plan was to move to Oklahoma because it was the only place I had to go, but the friend I stayed with that night let me stay with her indefinitely (which is where I am now until this weekend). I haven't been able to get my stuff because I've been trying to figure out exactly how to go about it (it took us 3 trips in his hatchback to get it there in the first place) and he kept saying he would bring more stuff, rent a uhaul, etc., etc., etc....and, of course, nothing happened until now. And I couldn't just go down there and get it myself because, honestly, I was scared. He has two guns and could easily claim that he just saw someone trespassing, he has several neighbours that could start things...it's not something I was going to do without arranging it with him first. I now kind of regret not just going out there, getting my stuff and bringing the police after me, but hindsight is 20/20, right?

 

I don't think it's nice that they packed it up. He never told me it was packed up, never told me it was sitting out. It was out there for WEEKS...not a few days in preparation of me going out there. It was out there through at least one storm. He literally THREW things in the boxes. Boxes that already had trash, insulation, bullet slugs, etc., in them! It frustrates me to no end and frustrates me even more than I'm 99% sure that I'll never take him to court for it. And it's not like I can punch him in the face either. irked.gif I was 5 1/2 hours late, yes, but he knew well in advance that we weren't totally sure on the time. When I called him earlier in the week to arrange it I told him that I was aiming for 12 but I wasn't sure and then I called a couple days before when I found out it wouldn't be as early...so they full well knew it could be any time that day. Either way, my stuff was out there for several weeks, not a few additional hours. 

 

I just hope he disappears, forever. I hope I never see his face again. He abused and neglected me in so many ways, he destroyed my things, he'll probably abuse/neglect our child if he sticks around...I'm done. I'm completely done. And I don't ever, EVER want him to have anything to do with us ever again. That is the best thing he could do for me, better than pay me back for the things he destroyed or give me child support...just stay away and never make himself known to me again and I'll be happy.

post #19 of 23

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post #20 of 23

I am glad to hear you have a plan for stabillity! Sounds like the meds are working great! :-)

 

About communicating with him - he is your EX, there is no reason to have any contact with him, except to notify him of the birth. There was violence in the relationship, right? Can you find some free legal aid from a local DV resource and ask about what the legal requirements are with respect to notifying him?

 

Ask your dad to pick up the bike for you, you don't need to see the ex again. If you want the bike do the pickup ASAP.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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