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Need Advices (vent)

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

Last night, my DH expressed concerns regarding his DS (his son is not my child) and our baby to be.  We are both concerned with how he is going to feel/interact with the baby.  Our DD (our child together) is thrilled and can't wait to be a big sister, she is SUPER helpful and SUPER sweet.  My DSS had has a VERY different personality than our daughter.  He is a little more quite and reserved and is experiencing some significant behavioral issues due to his mothers parenting (or lack there of, but that is a different post).

 

I just wanted to hear (read) how things worked for you ladies when you introduced another child into your blended family, did everything work out ok???

post #2 of 3

My DSD is soon to be 12.  I was very concerned.  She's an only child, is EXTREMELY sensitive, and has plenty of emotional problems (probably due to or increased by her parents not so friendly split).  We were careful to always include her, ask her to help with some baby prep (like picking bedding & suggesting names), were very clear that she would not HAVE TO babysit or change dipes.  I told her when DS is old enough to walk we'll keep him out of her room, but things she leaves out are fair game.  There were some touch & go moments, but overall she likes (probably loves) her new brother.  Other things - we tried not to change too much about her time here.  Daddy still tucks her in, we still make an effort for her to have exclusive time with him, I try not to shush her too often "because baby's sleeping".  We encouraged her to talk about her concerns openly and addressed them appropriately and without censure.  At the same time we do have behavior expectations, so it's not like she's a princess.  Overall, yes everything is working out ok.  Good luck!

post #3 of 3

Well, honestly, dsd barely noticed when we added ds (my second, dh's third) child to the mix.  This was probably because it did not change our routines all that much and because her mom had just has a baby less than six months before (her first sibling at her mom's house). She will play with ds and seems to enjoy him, but there was absolutely none of the jealousy that she had with dd (she was almost 6 when dd was born and dd was her first sibling at either of her houses). Part is that she is older now, but a big part is that she had already adjusted to having to "share the spotlight" so to speak.  She still struggles a bit with jealousy of dd and I have a feeling that will be ongoing. 

 

How did your dss do with the birth of your first child (your daughter?)

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