Queer & Pregnant: December & January - Page 9

[AmandaHope]

Kredmon: Big hugs for you and DP.  Of course, we get attached to whatever little beings appear in our bodies and lives, and losing one of them must be painful and sad.  I've had two friends lose twins, though they didn't know they were pregnant with twins until they lost one, so they didn't get attached as you have.  I'm so glad to hear that the other one is doing well. 

Amy: What a puke story!  Ugh. 

Library: I giggled at the thought of two fetuses kicking away at the turbulence.  Hope you enjoy SD and the conference!

AFM: All I want to do is eat.  And I don't need any extra weight, kwim?  Made spinach and ricotta stuffed pasta shells tonight...yum.  Looking forward to bedtime snack...and breakfast...and mid-morning snack...and on and on.  Good God.

[CascadiaMama]

I'm so sorry for your loss, kred. And I have my fingers tightly crossed that the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing (and you don't run into any more horrible medical unprofessionals along the way). 

AmandaHope - those shells sound delish. Eat up!

Library - maybe you have a pilot in your future? 

AFM - we heard the heartbeat tonight! There's really a baby in there! It was a great first big visit with our midwife and her assistant--the first time DP met her. We had tons of questions, and were super reassured about everything. She has an excellent relationship with another local clinic's team of doctors, should we risk out of a homebirth or need an emergency transfer--and if that happens, she'll still be with us, and those doctors will also work very hard to help us have a natural birth (assuming it's not an emergency). So phew on all of that!

[AmandaHope]

Originally Posted by AmyPDX 

AFM - we heard the heartbeat tonight! There's really a baby in there! It was a great first big visit with our midwife and her assistant--the first time DP met her. We had tons of questions, and were super reassured about everything. She has an excellent relationship with another local clinic's team of doctors, should we risk out of a homebirth or need an emergency transfer--and if that happens, she'll still be with us, and those doctors will also work very hard to help us have a natural birth (assuming it's not an emergency). So phew on all of that!

How wonderful, Amy!  Hearing that heartbeat for the first time is mind-boggling.  My DD keeps saying, "the baby is right here, with us, right now!", conveying that same sense of incredulity.  I love it.  Congratulations!
 

[pigirl]

I'm hopelessly behind on posting, but finally almost starting to feel better, so please pardon the abbreviated response:

5G-- welcome!  I'm thrilled that you've made it here!

Kredmon-- I'm so sorry for your loss.  I think any pregnancy loss is all of our worst fears, and that nurse could not have been more heartless.  I hope the rest of your pregnancy is delightfully boring.

Amy-- congratulations on hearing the heartbeat.  There is nothing like it.

AFM-- I'm weaning off the progeterone suppositories, but about to start the weekly shots.  I went off the B6 for m/s and have started to feel a little worse again, but I'm so averse to the stuff now I'm willing to just suck it up and wait a few more days and hopefully feel better on my own.  I got cocky the other morning, and took my multivitamin and a fish oil in the morning right before work (I usually take the multi before bed because it makes me queasy) and almost ended up vomitting all over myself at work.  Sigh.  We need a pukey preggers lady smiley around here.   

[AmandaHope]

Pigirl: I hope you start feeling much better soon.  A few questions: would you please tell me more about the progesterone shots?  I, too, am weaning off the suppositories, and our midwife (at our initial consult) suggested that since I had premature membrane rupture with my DD, they might want me to do weekly shots.  I'd never heard of this.  Why exactly are you doing the shots?  Second: you are the second person who has said that the prenatals make them sick (esp. in the morning, on the empty stomach); I had a bit of that before I switched to other prenatals, which I LOVE.  They are small-ish capsules, not big pressed pills, and they have no odor or aftertaste.  I have no trouble at all taking them (although I'm also lucky not to have m/s).  Just in case anyone is interested, here is the link.  They are pricey but so worth it!  

[LibraryLady]

Amy~ How amazingly magical! It really is an incredible moment. When the kicking starts is magical too. I'm sure I'll feel differently in a month when she won't stop kicking, but it's so good to know the baby's really real.    As for being a pilot~ my dad's a pilot and would freak out with joy to have her follow in  his footsteps. We shall see!!

PiGirl~ SO glad you're feeling better! And that you got to quit with the suppositories, though I'm sorry you had to go on shots. How long will this continue?

AmandaHope~ Hi!!!

Gorgeous SoCal morning~ about to head down the street for a fab breakfast and then maybe to the beach. Actual conference stuff starts this afternoon, and then I'll be busy, so I got to enjoy while I can!

[JesseW]

KRedmon:  That sounds so awful. Why are those technicians so clinical and insensitive? Glad to hear the other one has a strong heart beat and I hope you're feeling better.

I'll be twelve weeks on Tuesday and have my "sequential screening" (aka Nuchal) ultrasound for downs, etc...

Has anyone had any experience with this screening?  It sounds like there is a high probability of false positives.

I'm looking forward to seeing the little one in the ultrasound, but feel a little nervous about what else might arise.

Any thoughts? Experiences?

[pigirl]

Amanda, I had my water break at 34 weeks with my son, which is why we're doing the shots.  They're recommended for women who either had their water break before 37 weeks, or who went into labor spontaneously before 37 weeks (there's a March of Dimes summary here).  I did a LOT of research into it before we decided to do it.  It seems like there's very little risk, and they significantly reduce the chance of another preterm birth.  The downside is that you get a giant shot in the butt every week from about 16 weeks until you deliver, or reach full-term.  Also, thanks for the info on the other prenatals.  If mine don't start going down better soon, I'll give them a try.

Jesse, I've never had that screening, but from what I understand if you get a "positive" just try not to worry.  It has a very low "positive predictive value," meaning that only a small percentage of women with a positive result actually have a baby with Down's.  I think the number is around 20%.  If you get a negative, though, I believe that's almost always right.  I hope it goes well for you, either way.

[gumshoegirl007]

Kredmon:  Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost one of the babies.  Big hugs.

AmyPDX:  Your puking story was hilarious, although I'm sure quite traumatic at the time.  Also, hearing the heartbeat at 9w is pretty awesome.  Sounds like you have a great care provider.

LibraryLady:  That's one good looking foot!

Pigirl:  More puking.  Yay (not!).

JesseW:  We skipped the integrated prenatal screening.  We just felt that the stress a false negative could provide wasn't worth it.  Spina bifids and trisomy 18 would likely get caught at the 20w screening.  And if the baby had Down's, we likely wouldn't do anything either way. 

AFU:  It's been a lovely stressful week here.  I'm now getting laid off.  We just don't know when or the details because our new CEO left that between himself and I to determine.  They just terminated my boss (who was the boss before the new CEO came in), and have decided to move the organization to another city.  So now I get to add lawyer's meetings to my schedule .  It's not that big of a deal because I was planning on a year-long maternity leave, and I can leave on maternity leave at at time now (but wasn't planning to go until March 18), but it does screw me out of employment insurance (here, my 52 weeks of EI is the same pot that you use during maternity/parental leave for partial weekly wages and I won't have the working hours to qualify for EI at the end of my mat leave) and have a full year with my daughter. I'm also a bit bummed that I'm now going to have to spend time during my mat leave job searching and may possibly have to go back to work earlier than planned. I'm just trying to stay calm and make sure that my family is protected and that I can get the best deal possible. 

[AmandaHope]

Gumshoe: I'm sorry to hear about your job.  What a shame.  It sounds like you have a solid plan and some good options, but I wish you didn't have to deal with this.

Pigirl: Thanks so very much for that info!  I'm meeting with the midwife on Monday and will make an appt with the high risk OBs (who would prescribe the shots) after that.  I'm so excited to have a way to reduce the chance of a preterm induced labor again.  I think I would have been quite scared in the third trimester if there was nothing at all I could do to lower the chances.  Yikes--so your water broke at 34 weeks?  How did the birth go after that?  Was your little one ok?  Scary stuff! 

Jesse: Good luck with the screening.  I hope it goes really well.  We have to talk with the midwife on Monday about whether we'll do the screening.  The thing is, I wouldn't want to do anything drastic based on the results with confirmation from an amnio...which can't be done until the second tri, so I think we'll probably just do the second tri screening.  It is a tough call, for sure.  I hope you get the most reassuring results!

AFM: I finally just saw the most recent Harry Potter movie (my DP and DD saw it the day it came out, but I had to work, so all three of us just went together)--WOW.  I am so impressed.  I keep thinking about how the HP books and movies will create lasting and probably defining memories of my DD's childhood.  What an incredible phenomenon.  We have out meeting with the doula tomorrow, which I've been looking forward to.  Night, all!

[starling&diesel]

Hi all, still stalking your board after getting a BFN last cycle.  We're doing our final round of FET IVF this cycle, with the last two embryos.  I'm going to try very hard not to get my hopes up this time.  I just dropped in to say how sorry I am for your loss, kredmom.   It must have been a very scary experience, and I imagine you and your partner are still on tenterhooks.  My thoughts are with you both, and the littles, both lost and thriving. 

Gumshoe ... Do you know about Medical Leave EI in pregnancy?  I'm not sure how it would work in a lay-off situation, but I know that in my case I went on Medical EI at 27 weeks, which was NOT taken from the same pot as Maternity/Parental Leave.  This is a little known component to the federal system, and I would be more than happy to talk with you about it if you want to PM me.  I went off due to the dangers of being on the ambulance at that point in the pregnancy, but you can go off for whatever reason would make you uncomfortable or in pain while pregnant and at work.  I was off for a total of 62 weeks, ten of that being the Medical Leave and the rest being Maternity/Parental Leave.  It is awesome!  Again, not sure how it works in a lay-off situation, but it's worth a try!

[LibraryLady]

Good morning ladies~ Tough night last night, woke up with my heart pounding and then basically talked myself into freaking out, thinking I was having some sort of trouble. Mostly it was just that: pounding heart, sweaty palms, a bit of shakiness. It passed in about thirty minutes, but I just kept imagining going into premature labor and having an extreme preemie baby here in San Diego, away from DP and my family, being stuck here for months,  and it got me all shook up. I'm a bit better now, but still kinda jumpy, but the 'trouble' was a few hours ago, and I figure if anything bad were to come of it (food poisoning, heart attack, preterm labor, any of the other nightmares I imagined) it would already have started.  Still, I wish my sweetie were here to hug me and calm me down!  Fortunately I have a day full of meetings to distract myself with.

Jesse~ I had the screening you're talking about, and mine was very clearly negative, which I found incredibly reassuring. I have also heard that  there's a risk of false positive on that and the sequential screening, the tests they do using your actual blood. My sister had a false pos on one of those when she was pregnant with my nephew. She had a miserable, panicked week but then it all resolved. I hope yours is clear and reassuring. 

Pigirl~ Yikes! A shot in the butt a week?  But still, if it keeps the baby safely baking, it's worth it.  

Gumshoe~ Double yikes! What a time to get laid off. It seems like you have a few options, but you sure don't need this ignunce and stress. Big hugs xo

Went to La Jolla yesterday and looked at seals. They were so, so cute.  I"m going to take it easier today. 

[justrose13]

Library, so sorry you were feeling so shaken up this morning... I hope you've been able to chat with your sweetie and are feeling somewhat better! That's got to be quite a scary thing to get worked up about... I could see myself doing the same. I'm sure everything will be just fine and you'll be in your girl's arms before you know it.

[LibraryLady]

Wehrli~ Thanks so much xoox  I had about two liters of water, a banana and a long chat with my sweetie and felt much better. I also resolved to take today super-easy, which I've done, and it's been okay.  It was freaky, but it's so easy to scare yourself alone in the middle of the night. Thanks for the encouraging words. You ladies are the best xoxo

[Kjred]

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. We're doing okay. I'm super ready to be over with this first trimester. I have my first OB appt. on Wednesday and think I'll feel lots better after that. Hopefully. 

Jesse-good luck with your test, let me know how it goes. 

Starling--I'm really sorry that your FET didn't work. I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts for your next one. 

[AmandaHope]

Library: Sorry to hear about the panic incident--that is NO fun!  How did you sleep last night?

Kredmon: Good luck with the OB appt on Wednesday--I hope it puts you at ease.  The second trimester is looking pretty great, for sure! 

I, too, am struggling with whether to do the first trimester screening.  I thought I wouldn't, but now I'm not so sure, because what I read (from reputable sites) is that the false positive rate is 5% and that it is the most accurate non-invasive test for genetic abnormalities available.  Because of her own health challenges and limitations, my DP is not up for parenting a child with serious special needs...so there may be a logic to the testing.  Ugh.  Have to decide tomorrow, probably, at my first m/w appt. 

[LibraryLady]

Good Morning~

AHope~ Thanks so much for the kind words. Slept like a log last night and feel normal this morning, which is good. Don't have much on the schedule for today (more meetings) so I'm glad to have another quiet day of not overdoing it. It really was not fun, but also really turned out to be nothing, so it's all for the best. I do appreciate the reassurance.    As for the screening, I really felt like it was worth it. If there's a false positive, they have other tests that can follow to verify or discount the original 'findings'.   It really was not invasive at all, and there was an incredible reassurance in the result that my chances of trisomy were '1 in 10,000'.  Even just the u/s where the Nuchal fold (I think I'm spelling that wrong...) was way below the 'danger' level took a weight off.  That's just my personal experience, but it was a positive one.

Kred~ I'm very glad you're going to see your OB this week. Maybe they can give you some more answers or reassurance.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but hope that the rest of your pregnancy is dull and ordinary.

AFM~ I'm getting tired and am ready to go home now, but have a few more days.  Still, it's a wonderful experience to be with so many colleagues and friends. Today I'm going to the vendor rooms and gathering up all the free books (woohoo!) and tomorrow we're going whale watching! Then Tuesday I'm heading back to Oklahoma where I'm going to put my feet up for the next few months!!

[fivegrandbaby]

Just real quick - the niece is screaming, must go attend - but wanted to say we had our first u/s this morning - we saw AND HEARD the heartbeat!!  144bpm!  I've been worried so much and now I'm on antibiotics for some random little bug I have - fever and headache for a week.... but the heartbeat was music to my ears!!  

[justrose13]

5G!! the heartbeat! oh, i'm so happy and relieved for you! isn't it just the most beautiful thing ever??? congrats!

[cejae]

Congratulations 5G!!  I remember feeling such a huge relief after seeing and hearing the heartbeats!