not veg friendly xmas gifts from family

[kathymuggle]

I have a sister who lives in  Australia.  She is visiting Canada and emailed my hubby that she had bought us a kangaroo leather wall hanging for xmas - and that she got my son a crocodile tooth necklace 

Our DD is vegan (age 12).  The rest of us are omnivores - but we do not eat much meat ( perhaps 1 day in 3 we serve meat and it is in small portions).  I am not in favour of any dead animal parts as decorations - not for clothes, jewelry or wallhangings. 

I think the SIL knows one of us is vegan.  I am not sure she realises that we are increasing interested in minimizing the use of animal products.

Dh does not want to say one word to her.  He thinks they are gifts - we should just say thank you and put them away.  It is his sister so that is what we will do.

Part of me thinks she might want to know that her gifts (which are expensive) will not be used in our house (aside from the necklace - DS can wear it if he wants, but there is no way I am hanging a kangaroo skin anything on the wall).  I would not want to spend money on a gift if I knew it was not going to be well received.

I definitely do not want DD around when we are gifted with the kangaroo skin.  She is somewhat close to the SIL and this might hurt the relationship.  Alternately, her horror might be apparent.  Think I should warn DD and talk to her ahead of time about this "gift"?

Sigh.  Why oh why do people give dead animal gifts unless they know the person is OK with it?????   Even if I supported fur (for ex) I would not give it to someone unless I knew they would be OK with it.

Kathy

[Buzzer Beater]

Mmmm... no advice, just... yuk. We live in Montana and there are lots of dead things on walls around here. Elk heads, bear hides, antler chandeliers... gross. Good luck.

[EviesMom]

I would warn your DD ahead of time, but I would also talk to her about gracious accepting of gifts. I have come to feel that you have to accept gifts graciously but once they are given, you may do as you wish with them. I would find a way to pass it on, and if asked by your SIL later, I would say that it wasn't your family's style, you tried it for a while, but it just didn't fit with your lifestyle. That lets her know that you do NOT want more in the future, but isn't rude about the one already given. 

You can always look up the worst-gift thread where someone's MIL gave her a plaque something like "Jesus loves you even though you're Jewish" and be glad that it's not worse!

[OrangeMoon]

Maybe I'm the odd one out but I would nicely say something about it. Maybe just in conversation somehow bring up that none of you believe in using animal products for clothes or decorations, so she would know not to give it to you. And then if she said, did my brother tell you what I got you for chistmas? You could say "No, why? Oh no, it's not an animal gift is it?" It could be a little awkward but I don't think it is that rude to state your beliefs at all. She should know, and this could be one of many dead animal gifts. I don't know. I think there is always a nice way to speak your truth, and a nice person wouldn't be super offended by it.

[clothdipemomof2boy]

I have no advice what we did is probably wrong..... My MIL who feels bad about it got me a sherpa blanket that has wool on it. She got it when I was a vegetarian last year. So because she got it then I went ahead and put it on our bed because our room is in the basement andit gets coooold. I know not an excuse but it was a gift and we are using it.

[Spring Lily]

I'm so curious, what did you end up doing?

(From the thread title I thought this was going to be about food items, and I thought maybe my in laws weren't the only ones who give things like fish soup to the vegetarian. As my Christmas gift, not for dinner!)

[Teensy]

No comment about the leather, but don't crocodiles loose their teeth naturally like sharks?  If so, that gift seems different than a leather one.

We've collected sharks teeth and have them displayed in a frame on our bookshelf, but I promise we didn't hunt or harm any sharks in collecting the teeth.    Just dug in the sand off a local island.

I don't know what I'd do about the wall hanging.  Now that Christmas is past, I am curious what the OP did in her situation.

[PikkuMyy]

Crocodiles do lose teeth from time to time, but you can certain if a company is selling necklaces made from them, they were not found by the side of the crocodile-infested river. They were taken when crocodiles were killed for meat and skin.

[kathymuggle]

SIL arrived from Australia on the 17th of Dec.  Well before Xmas she realised DD was a strict vegetarian and prone to being upset by animal slaughter and changed gift on her own.  She gave the animal pelt to her other brother (we we were not present for the gift exchange) and gave Dh an ill fitting (too small!) sweater meant for the brother, lol.  We are all glad she exchanged things on her own.

She did give Ds the necklace...he has worn it a few times. Ds is not vegetarian and DD was not upset.  For some reason the tooth was not as worrying as an animal pelt wall hanging  - perhaps because it is such a visible thing.

In other news she did receive some non vegan makeup and a small leather wallet from her grandmother (MIL).  She thanked her and gave the stuff to her sister after MIL left.

I will have DH talk to his mom and let her know exactly what vegan means between now and next Xmas.  Hopefully, she will understand and buy accordingly.  

[Spring Lily]

Oh that is a good ending to the story. It's great your SIL was responsive about your DD's beliefs on her own, a lot of people wouldn't have swapped the presents. And I think your DD did the right thing in accepting the gifts from your MIL and giving them to her sister later--that was the gracious thing to do without compromising her values.