KrisInDenmark -The goldfish analogy is perfect!! My hubby keeps asking me what it feels like and I just couldn't find the words. When I read yours it clicked with me right away. We're also planning a home water birth and have looked into hypnobirthing but can't find any classes near us. So I think we're going to go to a Bradley method class and get the hypno books.
First Time Moms-To-Be Club - Page 3
I had my NT scan today, and it went so wonderfully--I was super worried something had gone wrong in there, and it hasn't! I had worked myself up so much, I can't believe what a relief I feel now. I will tell myself that I need to stop it with the anxiety, and I am sure that in a few weeks when I haven't seen the baby lately, I will get all anxious again. I am so, so looking forward to kicks!
Anyway, baby looked so beautiful, and was very wriggly and wouldn't hold still at first; I had to do some calisthenics to get it to flip over. HB measured at 152. I measured about a week ahead of my EDD, and NT was at 1.9, which seems to be just fine...waiting on blood screen of course. (I'm 38, so I won't be too shocked if they do see some elevated risk based on that result...I doubt I will pursue further testing unless the numbers look really dire.)
I'm so, so glad that is over!
meander: Great to hear from you. I've been completely MDC stalking you because I was worried when you didn't post for a while Glad to hear everything is going well! We had our NT scan about a week before you and it definitely is a HUGE relief! And than 1.9 number for the fluid is really good. Here's hoping your risk numbers come back low!
AFM: Oh, I did get some good news on Monday. Back around 7 weeks my doctor made me go for another pap test as my previous one had come back with some abnormal results. The ob/gyn who did the pap said everything looked fine but to expect another abnormal result due to the pregnancy - well I got my result on Monday and it's NORMAL! Woot! I wasn't too worried about it, but it's still nice to know all is well.
The nurse called with my risk numbers today, and my percentages both went down from my standard age risk--Down's from 1/177 to 1/495, and Trisomy 18 from 1/270 to 1/8600. I'm pretty happy with these results! I wasn't thinking of doing any more testing unless the risks increased hugely, but it's nice to have a little more
I also had my regular OB appointment today, and was a little disappointed when she didn't even want to try to find the HB with the doppler--the U/S machine was right there, so she just pulled that out instead. I was rather stunned at how much worse her u/s equipment is vs. the specialist's office (where I had the NT this week); the baby looked like a grainy blob, not the nice, sharp profile we saw on Tuesday! She gave me a pic, but honestly, it looks just like the 7w one. So glad I got to at least see the baby once in 'high def'!
I'm definitely measuring ahead, though. The current conjecture seems to be that I was right about my dates all along (I'm measuring ahead by 8 days now, but think it should be 5 days by my chart), but that for some reason they just got a really small measurement on the first scan and it was 5 days behind. The second one was 3 days behind, so I am guessing it caught up somewhere in there. Anyway, after some discussion, it looks like we are keeping the due date even though we both think it is wrong--so I shouldn't have to worry about running a little bit late since I'll really be 40w5d before I even get to my 'EDD'. I was surprised she is OK with that, but she doesn't mind if I go a little past term, though she did say that some practices nearby induce all women over 35 at 39 weeks! Thank goodness I'm not one of their patients?!? Even better, she is not spewing the 'you must have a c-section' stuff I was getting from other docs, and is happy to let me have my way when it comes to birthing, as long as I'm in the hospital (I have Crohn's Disease, and a tricky form of it that rules out homebirth for me and any sane midwife--I would no way be comfortable, and my likelihood of complications is definitely very elevated. Our hospital is really pretty good and seems quite broad-minded as to the crunchy things, as hospitals go, so I am happy with this.)
That office keeps weighing me with my winter coat and boots plus whatever bag, book, etc I might be carrying on a given day. The number is really easy to ignore when I am sure they're weighing at least 10-15 pounds of not me...but I expect I'll get some sort of lecture the first day it's warm and I show up in sandals and a sundress, and they think I stopped eating for a month. :)
Sorry to spam you all with so much detail...this is partially how I process information. If I were feeling a little more energetic, I could actually start a journal to deal with this stuff!
hi all! just wanted to pop back in and say all is well! i'm at 16 weeks and 4 days, and FINALLY starting to feel some energy... interestingly, the nausea has gone way down but i totally puked this morning! oh well, it's still way better than the misery of the past couple of months. it's great to read how you all are doing and welcome to the new ladies! this pregnancy stuff is such a trip!
i switched from my OBGYN at columbia u. hospital (great doc, terrible hospital, highest c-sections in NY, and no midwives in hospital) to St. Luke's midwives so i can do the birthing center... still investigating home birth but to tell you the truth, i am an overwhelmed 35 (almost 36) y.o. full-time grad student who also works, (as is my partner), and we have a cluttered, small, NYC apt. with two gregarious cats, so it might feel more peaceful to be in neutral turf where i don't have to worry about any of the setup and cleanup! i feel a little guilty about that admission, beacuse i think midwife-attended homebirth is the best way to go, but it's also important for me to be honest about where i'm at.
i'm starting to have really intense belly-stretching feelings, ligaments on either side, and i'm not sure if it was intense gas or the first feelings of the fetus fluttering, but yesterday i was FEELING something! thrilling, and bizarre, and just so surreal. i'm still cautious for personal and political reasons to not call it a baby, but i'm starting to feel real love for this creature inside of me, and letting myself envision a july with a baby in my arms. wild!
peace to all, a
is anyone else absolutely terrified? The weight of all of this is just starting to hit me, don't get me wrong, I am excited as all get out, but I am absolutely petrified. I have to keep a person alive, and I mean, I've babysat for years, but like this morning I was staring off into space and my husband called me out, and I was just like "do you realize how hard this could be?" I mean....babies, they put everything in their mouth! they start climbing! they try to stick things in electrical sockets, they can stop breathing for no reason at all! Everything that could possibly go wrong has just kind of hit me this week. I never thought it would be easy, and I won't even say I hadn't thought about challenges, but I guess the closer it gets, the more real it is to me. I don't want to be one of those moms who's always freaking out, but now I'm wondering how other moms manage to stay so laid back!
Narleegates: Terrified doesn't even beging to cover it! I'm so excited and yet so frightened. I think that's normal (I tell myself it is at least). No amount of reading or talking to people or preparing will really let me know what having a baby around will be like. We can get set up, but we really can't mentally "prepare". So, I guess, we just take it as it comes. It will all be worth it, that much I do know!
livingsky: thanks so much! sounds like you have a great plan too. i'm blessed to live in NYC where i can pick from so many options...
narleegates: oh yes, i get overwhelmed with terror sometimes! for me it's key to be surrounded by supportive people-- my parter is freakin' amazing and i live in an apt. building with lots of new moms in a neighborhood full of breeders, and i call/email/text friends and sister all the time with questions/fears/etc. i can VERY easily get carried off on an anxiety train; and therapy, support groups, and regular spiritual practice are all keeping me afloat! and, i am swearing by the "one day at a time" slogan from the 12-step world! when i start freaking out about teething, colic, kindgergarten, or teenage rebellion, i have to remind myself "it's just a fetus today, and i'm working on a healthy pregnancy. i don't have to think about parenting... yet ;)" oh yeah, and this forum is pretty great too! (especially, i imagine, for women living in rural places!
i hope this wasn't too advice-y or anything... i just wanted to respond to your reaching out. i can't really relate to women who "love/d being pregnant" and are all glowy and woo-woo and positive all the time-- i was a nauseated, anxiety-ridden mess most of my first trimester, and questioned childbearing almost every day. i think it's perfectly normal! thank god in pregnancy we get pumped full of love hormones and have these amazing bodies that will help guide us in how to be mothers... one day at a time...
I've had a few freak out moments. I need to work on "just be" and let things unfold the way they will. I tend to hold things in that are bothering me and my hubby has been so good about making me talk, which usually leads to me crying about whatever was bothering me and I always feel better after.
SaraJane - Glad you are feeling better. I love that "one day at a time" so true. on your decision to go to the birth center. I think it is so important that women have a choice in place of birth. Sounds like you've done your research and soul searching to come to the place that is right for you, it is a great feeling to be confident in your choice.
I also like the "one day at a time" advice! I've been getting ahead of myself with everything lately. Names, birth plans, plans for taking time off work, setting up a space for baby... you name it! It's mainly that I'm pretty darn excited. But I'm going to drive myself and DH crazy if I don't chill out a little. LOL.
I'll be 17 weeks this week, which is just wild. My second and final (hopefully) ultrasound is next week.
SarahJane, I have heard awesome things about your birth center. I think that's a great choice. I wish I was a little more confident in where I want to birth. I'm planning a homebirth, but need to still work through some concerns.
Can't believe it's less than 6 weeks til we find out the sex!!!!!!!! WOOOOT! Which of you ladies are going to find out, or are you going to wait? I'm way too impatient to wait! I WANT TO KNOW NOW!!
I dreamed I saw my daughter last night. :)
In the dream I was dusting under the bed (good evidence that it was, in fact, a dream!) and looked through the gap below the bed(ditto!), and she was sitting on the floor in the bathroom flipping through a book. She was around 2, with long blond, curly pigtails. (not genetically likely!) But I reached down to feel my belly--I was still pregnant, and my dream-self decided it was a vision of the future. She didn't see me under the bed, so I just crouched there and watched her for what seemed like hours, and totally fell in love. She was so perfectly beautiful, and I was so proud of her, and so excited to meet her one day...
That's so, so sappy, I almost want to gag! but it affected me pretty strongly. I don't think that I believe one tiny bit of it, but I do still feel that sort of overwhelming love for the baby that's growing--it seemed much more abstract before, but now it seems like I've got a real live person in there.
I still don't know about finding out. It wouldn't be until the first week of March, so I have time to think still. I am getting the impression that DH really would prefer to know, and since I'm waffling, he's probably going to win this one. It's hard to waffle and simultaneously put your foot down. :)
meander: That's a great dream!! I love it
DH and I have both been able to very clearly and seperate from each other, picture a little blonde girl that we both think is our daughter. It's not a stretch for us as I'm blonde (well, dark blonde/light brown as I get older) and DH had pretty light hair as a child. I don't know if it's this baby we're seeing or another one - we want to have more - but we'll see I think it's heavily influenced our thinking that this one is a girl though! I think we'll both be pretty shocked if we find out it's a boy. Pleased though, but definitely surprised!
(such a cool dream, meander! i have super vivid dreams all the time... unfortunately most of them are nightmares, which i hear is pretty common in pregnancy, and to be honest, i have had lifelong night terrors anyway due to icky childhood and anxiety... so these are nothing compared to pre-pregnancy dreams).
i love how different people's reactions to the anatomy scan are... some people feel so strongly and others are so chill. i'm more on the strong side of NOT wanting to know. my partner and i are going to be surprised... we are really serious about resisting traditional gender roles, and we thought that since s/he is going to be treated differently by everyone the second they find out hir sex, we would give hir 9 months of gender-neutrality! this way we can also resist familial offerings of fluffy pink princess dresses and hyper-masculine boy clothes! (of course we're not kidding ourselves into thinking we can avoid our child wanting that kind of stuff in the future... we just want to do what we can while we still have a semblance of control over how s/he dresses and is perceived by people in the world ).
ironically, while we totally want to be "surprised," i think we both have always envisioned a girl, and i've had multiple girl dreams, so i think it's the unspoken understanding that we'll have a girl. it'll be pretty funny if we get a boy. either way, i'm with meander now in that i'm starting to envision a real person growing in there, rather than a parasite that made me sick for three months. i'm definitely feeling something in the belly-- not really flutttering, but gas cramping and clenching and stretching-- my guess is it's some fetal movement and a lot of ligament stretching.
so it's a frozen rain storm in nyc and the first day of classes-- very glad i live on campus!! happy february, all!
ps we might have a job offer in vermont for the summer and it would be LOVELY but that would mean i leave all my people in NYC and have a baby with nobody i know in the middle of nowhere... partly really amazing and beautiful and partly terrifying. anyone know anything about birthing in vermont? it's such a progressive state, i imagine even the hospitals would be amazing, but who knows? it would be like an hour south of montpelier. i don't know the area at all!