THE book

[Partaria]

Hi Homebirthing Mamas,

Long story short- we're having a homebirth in May. DH and I are mega excited about this, but the babe's future grandparents, on both sides, are mightily skeptical and judgemental. They are convinced that no hospital = insanity.

That said, my parents have opened the door a teeny tiny little crack, and have said that if I recommend a book, they will read it.

I have already tried getting them to watch documentaries, including the awesome Business of Being Born, but they refused. See, they think birth is a medical event and don't think watching nude ladies during their birthing time is "appropriate." Obviously we disagree on that point, but suffice to say, they aren't going to watch a film. Darn.

So it's got to be a book. They are both in the hard sciences- an engineer and a biologist. I want something that will really speak to them since I get but one shot at this. They used to tease me and DH for being super strict about making sure we only ate organic foods (especially animal products like dairy and meat) until they read Michael Pollan books. Now they've joined an organic food buying club and stay away from foods with additives/pesticides. Total 180! They CAN be taught!

What book would be best for this type of audience? It's got to be full of facts and figures. Arguments that are more based on birth as an emotional and spiritually empowering journey won't do much (though I myself find that argument extremely compelling).

Anyone got a title? I was thinking Pushed by Jennifer Block.

[lynsage]

http://www.amazon.com/Born-USA-Broken-Maternity-Children/dp/0520245962

This book is full of compelling facts and figures.

Please keep in mind, though, for your own sanity- nobody else's opinion really matters and you have to do what is best for you!

[Partaria]

Thank you!

Yes, I agree. I am trying not to allow my happiness with my birth to depend on what they think (though that's a challenge).

I don't need them to agree with the birth I am planning. DH and I did the research, we know we are making the right choice for our family. Slowly  am coming to realize that's all I need for peace.

That said, when I told my parents about our HB, they completely freaked out and refused to read anything I sent them. I ended up telling them kindly but firmly that I was sorry that they couldn't support me, but that this was my decision and I wasn't asking them what to do, I was telling them what I already decided to do. I also said that in the future, if they ever felt interested in knowing more, I would be more than happy to recommend resources.

So this is me honoring that promise. I'm hopeful they're change their minds, but if they don't, I'll enjoy saying "told ya so" after my beautiful at home waterbirth in May. ;)

[miami mommy]

Originally Posted by Partaria 

That said, when I told my parents about our HB, they completely freaked out and refused to read anything I sent them. I ended up telling them kindly but firmly that I was sorry that they couldn't support me, but that this was my decision and I wasn't asking them what to do, I was telling them what I already decided to do. I also said that in the future, if they ever felt interested in knowing more, I would be more than happy to recommend resources.

Good for you! 

Pushed was the first book I read when I was TTC and it convinced me that there was no way I would give birth in a hospital unless it was an emergency. I am a scientist and it had plenty of evidence to satisfy my overly-analytical mind. 

[Singfourever@yahoo]

I think Henci Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth would be a good choice. It's full of facts and figures and goes through the pros and cons of pretty much every procedure involved in giving birth. I really liked it and recommend it to any pregnant mama.

[MegBoz]

For most people "Pushed" would be my recommendation too. It's not only so full of facts & figures, but it's really well written & a fascinating read that includes some nice narrative as well.

However, Jennifer Block, the author is a journalist & therefore probably might not be viewed as a credible source by those who already think "medical establishment knows best."

While I personally love "Thinking Woman's Guide" - it has a few problems:

1. Henci Goer is also not a scientist (well, science-focused journalist is her profession) so you have the credibility issue.

2. It was published in 1996 which is pretty old. Sure, the data is still good, but I really wish she'd update it and I think it's a substantial negative about the book.

3. It mostly conveys the dangers of medicalized birth. I consider this a negative in your case because I think very VERY easily, your parents could just reply, "OK, go to the hospital and just tell them, no AROM, no pit, no cEFM, no induction, etc." Sure, that would leave you up for fighting at many hospitals, but not all. (I had my DS in a great hospital & the CNMs were really fantastic. NONE of that stuff was a problem or fight at all.)

So therefore I don't consider that book the strongest asset in your pro-HB arsenal.

I say go for "Born in the USA" by Dr. Marsdan Wagner. As an OB himself & former head of maternal & child health for WHO, you really can't get a much more credible source! Not only is he very pro-HB, he is so vehemently opposed to the state of modern American maternity care, his anger LEAPS OFF THE PAGE! & it was published in 2007, so it's current.

I don't think the book is very well written. It made the editor in me go kinda bonkers. LOL & I get that he's angry about Cytotec inductions, but enough already! He goes on & on about it all through the book as well as having a whole chapter dedicated to it.

But that would be my recommendation if I had just one shot & considering your parents are scientists.

We personally decided not to tell our parents about our HB plans for a variety of reasons. I just hope that, if nothing else, you can convey to them, "IF I transfer - it's not necessarily a "failure" of HB! It's an escalation of care, and how the system SHOULD work. Just like a general practicioner transfers you to an oncologist if a problem arises - that doesn't mean the GP 'failed.'"

I'd HATE to cope with the replies I'd get if I transferred - & that's one of the biggest reasons I'm not telling up front. I don't know if there would be an "I told you so" but I KNOW there would be, "OH THANK GOD YOU TRANSFERRED! Oh what would have happened if you didn't transfer?! I can't believe you even tried to stay home in the first place!" Um, yeah, I don't need that sh!! so I'm not tellin'. I'd just hate to see anyone else face that either.

[ASusan]

Agreed with everything MegBoz said with respect to Henci Goer's work, and Marsden Wagner's Born in the USA. Wagner's book does repeat everything that Goer's book does, and it needs editing, but the facts and data are there.

How about Robbie Davis-Floyd's work? She's a medical anthropologist. Use one of her articles as a supplement to Wagner.

http://www.davis-floyd.com/ShowPage.asp?id=155

[Climbergirl]

As an engineer that used to work for a pharma company, I really liked Pushed.  You would have to judge as to whether or not having MD behind the name would mean anything to your family.....

[cambridgebaby]

I really think Born in the USA by Dr. Wagner is the best choice b/c of the credibility of the author.  I think it will help to sway the skeptics!  Good luck!

[alireb]

There's also the book by the people who did the documentary TBOBB.

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Best-Birth-Discover-Experience/dp/0446538140/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1291746386&sr=8-1

[mmaramba]

I really do recommend Pushed.  It's quite well-balanced and HEAVILY referenced with medical literature.

True enough that the conclusion is that homebirth and/or very-low-intervention birth with a qualified care provider is the safest option for low-risk women in the US/"Western world," but...  that's just because it's true.  It would be hard for a good journalist and/or scientist to come to any other conclusion.

As for her being a journalist being a strike against her...  I guess it could be, in some minds (since she's not a doctor, etc.)  But in my mind, that helped her to be more objective, and she certainly has tons of scientific/medical backup in the form of cited studies and interviews with med professionals.  I guess it depends on your audience, but I plan on buying a case of Pushed to hand out to family and friends who want to argue with me.  I have 100 web-based studies and such as well, but Pushed is the most comprehensive way to start IMO.

[labortrials]

I agree with everyone but especially these gals.  I think Wagner is a stronger choice than Block, not because she's not "right," but because she's a journalist.  I too like the Davis-Floyd.  (I'm in academia, and my dissertation somewhat dealt with socialization processes and gender subversion.)

 

Originally Posted by ASusan 

Agreed with everything MegBoz said with respect to Henci Goer's work, and Marsden Wagner's Born in the USA. Wagner's book does repeat everything that Goer's book does, and it needs editing, but the facts and data are there.

How about Robbie Davis-Floyd's work? She's a medical anthropologist. Use one of her articles as a supplement to Wagner.

http://www.davis-floyd.com/ShowPage.asp?id=155