I am an avid reader and I didn't feel like I had any time to read or do any hobby once my dd started moving a lot up until she was three unless I skipped some sleep, which made me really grumpy the next day. I don't think that makes someone a martyr, it just means that they choose to do different things with their time. She isn't even the one who told you she doesn't have time to read so I really don't see the connection between her choices and being a martyr.
I do see how it is irritating to hear people say she doesn't have time for reading (as if reading has ever been a priority for her) because you do make time for it and it must feel like they are commenting on that too. Is it hitting a nerve because you feel guilty about your choices? If so I think you should examine that guilt to see if it you need to change something or if you are just sensitive right now (I get sensitive and moody a few days before I have my period). I don't think you should feel badly about having hobbies outside of being a mom. Her babies may just have different energy levels and clinginess levels than your kids had and she may really not have time for any hobby because her children require a higher level of attention. If she likes tea or coffee maybe you could get her a gift card or put together a gift basket with some nice cups and some really nice tea or coffee. Some movie tickets and an offer to babysit may also be a nice gift for her or a subscription to something like netflix in her name for a couple months may go over well.
Edited by One_Girl - 12/6/10 at 7:20pm