tired of breastfeeding

[sarahr]

I nursed dd until she was almost 3, when I was 3 months pregnant with the baby. The baby is now 9 months old. I've been pregnant or nursing since December 2005. And I am so tired of it. I'm not enjoying putting the baby to sleep. I'm definitely not enjoying the nursing every two hours at night. I don't like the feel of him tugging at my nipples (he has a fine latch, it doesn't hurt, I just don't like it). I'd like to get away for a night, just to be by myself. Really, I don't like much any of it.

Of course I'll keep going until, at the very least, he's around 18 months old, when cold and flu season of the year he turns 1 is over. On the one hand I feel bad that I don't see myself nursing DS anywhere near as long as I nursed DD. And on the other hand, even 18 months is feeling too long right now.

I'd love some words of encouragement.

[stellamia]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way! Missing out on sleep affects every aspect of life for me (and I can relate because I'm tandem nursing a 6 week old and two year old). 

What if you night wean him around a year? Then it's only 3 months or so until you can get a good night's sleep. It could be that once you have that, the daytime nursings will be more enjoyable. I know some don't agree with night weaning, but I think if it can prolong your nursing relationship overall, it's beneficial. 

Dr. Jay Gordon has an excellent method of night weaning that is very gentle and you never leave the baby to cry. It worked brilliantly for my DS at 18 months.

[lyrebird]

Hi Sarahr, I have just weaned my second child and it feels GREAT to have my own body back again (no more children planned, so that's it for me forever). I was sad for a moment or two but wow the freedom! I ended up in hospital for a few days nearly two months ago and I had rather unexpected surgery. I realised I needed to allow my body to recover and I just didn't feel I could keep breastfeeding, although I resumed breastfeeding just once at night before bedtime for a couple of weeks as he was distressed by my absence. One day I didn't offer the breast, hubby put him to bed and that was that. About a week afterwards he started looking down my top with a puzzled expression on his face but he has rarely looked like he wanted it. PHew! (Would be good if he'd stop exposing my shrivelled up breasts in public though).

I guess what I'm saying is, everyone has a time to wean. Sometimes it is bub who weans him/herself but sometimes it is Mum who needs to make the decision - breastfeeding is a relationship between you and your bub, not a one way street. You need to look out for yourself as well! If you feel it is really getting you down, perhaps talk to a counsellor to help you get through it if you feel really strongly that you want to keep going until a certain age (do you have breastfeeding counsellors where you live?).

I really like the suggestion of night weaning. If you find a way to do it that fits your family then great! 

You will get there, it might take a little time, but in the meantime just think how much you are doing for your little one by giving him mama milk. I understand it is hard to breastfeed while you resent it, especially at 4am. Perhaps you can think of an affirmation or little verse you can say to yourself when you b'feed which might remind you of why you are doing it in some way and give you renewed strength and desire to do it. Something like... "my darling child, the milk from my breast will nourish and protect you, I give it to you with all my love (please take it quickly so I can go back to sleep - JK)" or something - sorry, just off the top of my head, there's got to be something better than that! Maybe there are some on the internet.

All the best.

[elus0814]

I had the same feelings. In the past seven years I've only had my body to myself for two. I made it to a year with all my kids but it was a struggle sometimes. With my first I was pregnant again when she was seven months old and it was tough to keep my supply up. By the time the second was a year old I had been pregnant or breastfeeding or both for three years and I wanted to be done. Then two years later I became pregnant again then pregnant with my fourth while still breastfeeding the third and had the same struggle to get to a year. I now have a three month old and have been pregnant, breastfeeding, or both for two and a half years with at least another nine month on the horizon. I'm so ready to be done but I'm sure not going to give formula. I've thought about banking up a whole bunch of milk in a deep freezer so I can stop a month or two early but we have a cross country move coming up in the spring so I won't be able to. I really think that once the baby is six or seven months I should save up enough milk to be able to get away for an overnight by myself - I have my sights on a homeschooling conference which would be lovely to attend alone.

[D_McG]

Do you get enough time to yourself?  Nights out with friends or swapping childcare during the day so you have a break?  That helped me a lot.  And also setting limits at night, even that young.  I tried to never routinely nurse my second child that often because with my first I think it set us on a bad path.  He couldn't move at night without thinking it was time to nurse.  With DD we did a lot of cuddling, singing, having DH take over a bit.  Anything to not perma-nurse.  I'd usually only have to do that on occasion if I felt like she was heading towards nursing all night.  Then she'd get back to her regular pattern of just a couple of times.  That, I could handle!

[sarahr]

Thanks for all the support! It's so wonderful to have a place where I can grouse about breastfeeding and *not* have the answer be, "Formula won't hurt!"

I would love to night wean. When we night weaned dd (at 18 months) we did a version of Dr. Gordon's plan, but a key part for us is that DH handled all the night wakings. Right now, DH's travel schedule is such that we can't really do it until April, because until then DH is going out of town every couple weeks, and we want more continuity than that.

I definitely have plenty of milk to go away, but I'm a bit worried that DS wouldn't accept a bottle in the middle of the night. He's great at taking a bottle during the day (I have a babysitter one day a week!), but at night, I think he's looking more for comfort than for milk, so I worry.

I'll keep slogging through. I know it's the best thing for DS and I do love that he loves it. I'm just jealous of DH who is greeted every evening with big smiles and laughs; when I go out and then come home, I'm greeted with cries and whines for nursing. Such is the life of a nursing mommy, I guess.