House Rules...a few questions

[AFWife]

When did you develop a list of house rules? How old were your children? Did you write them down so everyone could see them? What are they?

[zebra15]

Your child is still very young so I'm not sure what type of 'rules' you are looking for.

We dont have a written set of rules per se.  DS is 10 and over the years I've simply focused on the following : be nice to others, keep your hands to yourself- this goes along w. no touching, listen to mommy, no screaming inside because it hurts mommy's ears and thats about it. 

Now that he is 10 I need to guide him a bit more with its 'really' time for bed on a rare occassion, or some days the pre-teen attitude comes out but nothing major.

I should say Im a single parent and always was so Im not sure if you are trying to get your DH to do something in the 'rules' or not??

I guess I've never been a rule person myself.

[cyclamen]

I've been thinking about this... but the house rules would be as much for my reminder as anyone else's!  I wanted to make a pretty sign with a few basic ideas about how we'd like to model respect... something to help me remember how I want to behave so that our daughter will know how to behave.

I'm thinking something along the lines of "Shh... Listen" - "Let's love" - "Let's clean it up now!" - and maybe,,, "Is this really worth being mad about?" (the last thing is something my bf says to me when I get mad... and it's super helpful in reminding me to consider how I spend my emotions)

Kind of like this (2nd picture in the post):

http://annamariahorner.blogspot.com/2007/01/art-of-childhood.html

[AFWife]

I guess I do think that DH and I need to sit and figure out (probably write down)  how to handle each behavior. I tend to let things slide a little more than he does...mostly because I'm preggo and here all day. So, while I may put up with screaming in response to being told "no" he may not.

[GuildJenn]

Well we don't have written rules. But we would I think if we had the kinds of kids (we just have one; are expecting the next/last) who needed that structure.

However - I don't believe you can outline every situation; it starts to get lawyer-y and kids might miss the meaning. So we would have family guidelines. They would be something like:

Treat others with respect - no name-calling, hitting, shoving, grabbing and so on

Say please and thank you as often as possible

Tidy up when you're done

um... yeah. I'm sure there's more. :)

In our house we don't really have a rule about not screaming. We have rules about not screaming at someone meanly, at the table, in certain situations and so on. But it is okay to be upset, especially if you're under 6.

I don't know if parents can agree to always handle everything the same. But they probably can agree to handle things the same WAY. Like my husband and I do not agree on noise levels or tearing around the house, but we do agree on how to stop it if we believe it needs to be stopped (not screaming, hitting, etc....although it is okay to be angry now and then.)

[kriket]

Our babies are the same age and I have started a few "chores" and "rules" DS is really into throwing things away or putting toys in his basket. So we have added that to the getting ready for bed, where we put all his toys away. Or if we are reading, he has to take his book back to the bookcase and bring another.

We also have pictures drawn on things, like his laundry basket has stink clothes (I don't cross contaminate clean and dirty laundry lol) so he know where to put socks when he peels them off, and NOT where to put mommies keys when he finds them in her coat pocket.

Other that, I don't have anything written or really in writing. DH and I are pretty good about picking up on what each other is trying to do, or what the other "allows" We try to have a United front, but we are different people, so there will be times where we allow different things.