My husband is such a great guy. He's everything I thought I wanted. But it turns out that nice guys are sometimes complete pushovers. He just stood there while his Mom yelled at me last year; it took hours of explaining why he needed to tell his brothers that it wasn't okay to 'jokingly' call me a b*tch; he won't talk to his (awesome) boss about getting a raise even though he hasn't had one in 3 years and we REALLY need the money; the list goes on.
I am, admittedly, a strong person, I have opinions on things; but I have reasons for them, I'm not just someone who spouts off about things I have no clue about. I can also be emotional; although I'm much better about it than I used to be.
I am also really spiritual, and DH is not at all, which has always bothered me. It doesn't matter what kind of spirituality we're talking about, he thinks it's silly.
Also, he never told me (until a WEEK ago) he literally almost FAINTS at the sight of blood, which I know now is probably one of the big reasons he couldn't support me during our attempted home birth. I ended up in the hospital for no reason other than feeling unsupported and scared - he wasn't able to help me calm down - didn't even try. I'm feeling so sad about that right now...
We got pregnant with DD really soon after we started dating, and I know that has a lot to do with why we're still together. On the other hand, everyone says he's totally in love with me and he's amazing for me.
He does all kinds of amazing things around our place (building a chicken coop, etc.) - plus he cleans the house, and is great with our kids. I just don't feel that 'connection' with him, and I'm wondering if I ever did, or if I just thought I did and then we got pregnant so fast I didn't really have a chance to think about it anymore. Plus, I've never had a healthy relationship modeled to me, so I don't think I know what it really means to be in one.
Ugh. I hate this so much.