Cosleeping safety ? - toddler and newborn

[Homebirth_Mom216]

DS (23 months), DH and I have been happily cosleeping since DS was born and we love it.  DS likes to cuddle close in every night before he falls to sleep, so I'm not sure if it will be very possible for me to get him to sleep away from me in the near future -  but I'm due again in February!  Right now we are planning on putting two queens next to each other on the floor for all of us to sprawl out on.  But how do naptimes/bedtimes work with getting the two LO's to sleep and leaving?  Is that going to be a big safety issue to have the toddler alone in the bed with the newborn while I'm off working elsewhere in the house?  Anyone BTDT or have any good advice?  THANKS!!

[Katie T]

My ds was 21 months when DD2 was born. We cosleep from birth and have a king size bed on the floor. I just put Ds in the middle and dd2 on the outside with a guard (I was worried that dh would roll over into the newborn, I never put my newborns next to him to sleep). I would nurse the baby to sleep and then turn and cuddle ds to sleep. I checked on them often and they did fine. The hardest thing was getting out of the middle of 2 sleeping kids lol.

I think you will be just fine. I remember being so worried about it when I was pg and it just all worked out smoothly. This is still out bedtime routine 2 1/2yrs later actually.

Good luck!

[allisonrose]

I'm in a very similar situation. My son is a bit older: 27 months. I've talked and talked and talked to my hubby about getting a bedroom set up for our toddler during this pregnancy and seeing if we can transition him to sleeping independently but nothing has been done. Now I'm 34 weeks and I'm guessing we will have a toddler and a newborn cosleeping. 

I'm not worried so much about space but I am worried about the toddler crawling over the newborn. Currently he does climb over me in the night if I am facing the other direction. Anyone with advice out there?

[Apaulinaria33]

I have a 20 month old and a 2 month old. We used to sleep on one queen size mattress on the floor before DD2 was born and DH would sleep on the couch (he liked it better because he could have the tv on). Before DD2 was born we got a second queen sized mattress from my mom and put it next to the first mattress on the floor. We also put bed-rails on either side of the two mattresses. (Two bed-rails total.) We did the bed-rails because DD1 always had a body pillow on the other side that I wasn't on to keep her from rolling off. Anyway... I sleep on one mattress with the 2 month old by the bed-rail and the 20 month old sleeps on the other mattress and DH sleeps by the other bed-rail. So it's DD2, me, DD1, DH. I nurse DD2 while DH gives DD1 a bath (most nights) and then I hand over DD2 to DH and nurse DD1 to sleep (I let her pick which side she wants to sleep on.) Then I go back and nurse DD2 to sleep usually on the couch chair or in the other room. When I'm ready to go to sleep I change DD2's diaper and bring her into the master bedroom where we all sleep. DD1 has started coming out of the room at night to find me to nurse her back to sleep. She got really good at sleeping through the night and now she's a frequent nurser at night. And she is quite jealous sometimes throwing a tantrum at night when I nurse DD2.

So it is possible and I must admit I way overstressed about the technicalities of it when I was pregnant. We're still working on timing for bedtimes and still trying to figure out what to do while I'm nursing DD2 and DD1 wakes up and tries to turn me back to face her. But I feel that we're doing the right thing. DD1 is no way ready to sleep on her own and I feel safer when we are all in the same room and bed. I think I do get more sleep this way vs if DD2 was in a crib. DD1 doesn't crawl over me (she used to before DD2 was born). But she does in the mornings try to come and lay next to her sister.

So it is possible and having a second mattress really helps everyone have their space. Although DD1 usually ends up next to me on my mattress and I end up sandwiched between two little girls!

I'm sure we will need to adjust and tweak our bed-sharing system as DD2 continues to grow. I'm excited about them being able to sleep next to each other when they're both older. I've been reading things like they keep each other occupied and give mom and dad more sleep time in the morning, become closer to each other, etc. Oh and naps... DD1 naps in the master bedroom once a day and if they're napping at the same time I nap with them. But if DD2 is napping alone in the bed and DD1 is up I put a baby gate in the doorway to the master bedroom. I don't leave them alone in the room together ever. Not yet at least! It also helps to have a nightlight (I use a flashlight covered by a baby blanket) for nighttime diaper changes. And sometimes I leave the closet light on with the door slightly ajar for light at nightlight.

I know I wrote a lot. Wow... Sorry! Well, I hope this helps!!!