My son is getting into trouble at school :(

[wemoon]

I'm not quite sure what to do. He recently got into trouble for bullying and now he has gotten into trouble for saying inappropriate things. I thought that we had things resolved after the bullying incident and he understood that what he was doing was wrong. Now I get a letter home saying that he was saying not OK things at school. He really doesn't seem to have any ideas on how to make this not happen again. He gets that he shouldn't have said it and seemed disappointed in himself that this happened, but yet, he seems rather unfazed by the whole thing, where I am very, very sad. I have expressed this to him and then he storms off saying that he is an idiot and that I should just ground him for life. I don't really *do* grounding and usually try to talk it out. He just doesn't want to talk about it.

I really want my kids to be respectful children, but he is just so far from it right now. I know that his heart is good, but he is making some really bad choices. Any thoughts or ideas?

[skreader]

Is this a "one off" incident (he said something mean in the heat of an argument)? Or is this a persistent problem?

If it's a one-off incident, then I think that asking him to reflect and remember not to do such a thing again may be enough.

If this is a persistent problem, then I think he needs to learn some impulse control skills. Teaching him to count to ten, teaching him to write things down at home to vent, etc.

Maybe ask him what he thinks he could do to redress the people he has hurt with his words? Maybe write some letters of apology? Does he have any ideas?