Weekly Chat Thread starting 1/8/10! - Page 3

[SashaBreeze]

Catie, KittyWitty and any others with babes feeling out of sorts.  My second child cried for what felt like non stop for the first year of her life.  It was so hard at the time but I am happy to report she is a pretty awesome person regardless  (although she still blows up when she gets angry...)

Heather!  That picture is sooo pretty.  Your dh is one talented fellow.  My brother-in-law was semi-professional and did all our wedding photos for the cost of the film, I get more compliments on my wedding photos than most people I know.  I really should post a few on facebook...

Ellen, ditto for me about slings.  Other than when I need to get stuff done or am out and about I just carry them in arms usually.  I'm thinking that may end up different though with the twins... got to have at least one hand free.

My breastfeeding troubles continue to multiply... I am not going to burden you all with all the craptastic details but I will say this, it is NOT going well.  I should have a SNS soon and am hoping that will be what turns things around for us.

On a different note Connor pooped in my hand today...  You would think I would have learned to time things a little better than that by now...

[caseykn]

Sasha, I'm so sorry that bf isn't going well for you and your boys!  I hope the sns helps things along. 

Nic, I can imagine how you feel with the soreness and stitches.  I didn't get stitches this time but did have a small tear on the side of my labia that was terrible.  It hurt for way longer than I thought it should and it was so frustrating to feel like I was getting my energy back and I wanted to be able to do more but that darn pain down there really held me back.  It went on so long that my lovely dh started to think I was complaining too much.  Um, NOT the right thing to say to someone who just gave birth!  Keep reminding yourself that it will get better! In the meantime, don't feel bad at all about being "lazy."

I've been trying to wear baby a lot but my back muscles are shot so my back is sore by the end of the day.  I think it's because my core muscles aren't in great shape after pregnancy so my back suffers.  It's not snowy here but cold and rainy.  When I go out, I grab baby and my carrier and run into the store and then put baby in the carrier once we're out of the rain.  When I use the moby, I definitely tie it before I leave home and then just put baby in when we get to our destination.  It's so much easier than tying it in a wet parking lot, or while trying to hold baby at the same time. 

[my kidlets and me]

Hugs to everyone with upset baby tummies - I hope you can figure out the cause soon!

Sasha, you are very inspiring, you just are NOT accepting not breastfeeding as an answer!  I tip my hat to you and I hope you reach the turning point soon.

I'm coming to terms with the idea that I'm old....well, at least, it's taking my body way longer to bounce back this time.  Walking for any significant length of time (over 15 minutes) causes my pelvic floor to hurt and my bleeding to ramp way back up.  I am so thankful that my dh is home - I don't know how I would cope with 4 kids and 4 schedules all by myself during the day.  

I never did end up taking the arnica I bought after Nicholas was born - can I start taking it now, almost 3 weeks after he was born? 

[kittywitty]

Sasha, you are my hero!

[HeatherB]

Bobbi, take the arnica! It can still help much later, and it can't hurt.

Sasha, I'm so sorry you're having so many difficulties. I do hope the SNS will be just what you and the boys need! You are an awesome mama for pressing on and working so hard for them!

Catie, while I've been blessed with a much "easier" baby this time, you are NOT alone. I know those feelings all too well! My first had the most awful problems with reflux. He screamed hours and hours and hours a day. There was nothing I could do to help him. He wanted to nurse but then he'd reflux more and then he'd scream more, so it was all a catch-22. We were so sleep deprived and stressed because of the screaming and the fact that he barely slept. Naps were nearly impossible to come by. I keep waiting for Eliana to turn into that kind of baby, and it's been 8.5 years since I had one that bad! The Zantac helped a lot with him, though he continued to have reflux issues until he was over 2 years old! I really wished after my 2nd was born and had *excellent* results with chiropractic that I'd known about it with my first. I can't say for sure it would've changed him, but the results I did see were so dramatic that I have to think it would've been good. I wonder if the combination of Zantac and chiropractic care (which, for my 2nd, made him stop throwing up immediately) would be effective for Ian? If it works, he could be a whole new baby. I hope you can find a solution for all of your sakes!

I am SO tired after the late nights and a few "early" (for us) mornings which meant no time to make up for the lost sleep. My MW called again to check on me and is continuing to implore me to take it easy. I really need to. I feel awful and am SO exhausted. I am grateful that Eliana *does* sleep because I can probably make myself nap each day. I am pretty sure I need to do it for my health and sanity. My sister is coming in on Wednesday but won't be any detriment to my resting, because she has similar needs for rest due to chronic health problems. It'll be good to have someone else understanding around! (She's not staying with us, either, so it'll be more like normal. While MIL isn't staying here, she's just WAY stressful for everyone!)

MIL and Dh are working on a mini-Thanksgiving dinner for us. She always comes at Thanksgiving but with baby we made her wait. We were going to do it Saturday, got bumped by the Christmas musical, then they were going to do it yesterday while I was at a baby shower for Eliana, then it got pushed to today. We probably won't eat before 10pm and it's only a turkey breast. But the house is smelling nice, at least!

We did have a shower/party for Eliana yesterday. It was both great and kinda disappointing and I'm not sure why. I think I'm mostly bummed because it was a pretty low turnout (which I really expected), and I missed having some very special people like my MW there. She called today and said she was so sorry she didn't make it. Apparently she *was* planning to, but forgot, but I also know she was at a marathon birth that didn't end until fairly close to Sunday morning (I'm not sure exactly but was in contact with my photographer who was at the birth, too). So I knew she wasn't coming but had really, really hoped she could. But, everyone adored my sweet girl and loved her darling outfit (Zutano owls). There was super yummy food and everyone brought gifts. Of course I hate being the center of attention and opening gifts makes it even harder! We got lots of clothes, as expected, and lots of pink, as expected (and rather dreaded). Now, figuring out what to do with all the clothes - what will fit in the right season, where did it come from if we can't use it - etc. is something of a chore. And it's a little disconcerting because almost none of it is stuff I have seen before or would've picked myself, so it feels a little strange. Is that weird?! I'm trying to sort out the mix of feelings about what was a lovely day, and I'm not quite sure where they all come from! I was exhausted to begin with, though, and that doesn't help things at all! Still, people came and enjoyed meeting Eliana and that was lovely. And a friend gave me one of her hand-made diaper bags! That was a big hit at the party and I used it today and love it.

Anyone else completely unready for Christmas? I do have at least something for all of my household, and we have pictures we need to order for everyone else, but we haven't even begun making our annual calendar, and we haven't designed Christmas cards or birth announcements (which I have thought I'd send with the Christmas cards), and we don't even know where our tree skirt is. I haven't finished decorating inside and haven't even begun outside (though that's DH's realm, really). I haven't gotten (let alone used) an advent calendar (one of my favorite things), and while we got an advent wreath kit from church we haven't even assembled it (it's supposed to be a crafty thing). It doesn't help that I can't buy a thing before Friday and even then it will be on VERY limited budget. Thankfully, I'm really okay with a small Christmas. And the things I do have for the boys should be good. I just hope I can get the things done that I really want to do, and maybe even in time. Oh, and then it's my birthday. I'm probably more worried about being able to afford the party I want to have to celebrate my 30th. Maybe we'll do potluck?

[kittywitty]

Does anyone else keep looking at the little sign by "senior member" and at first glance think it's the British flag or am I the only one?

I did too much the last couple of days and started bleeding tonight. NOT what I wanted! Quite a bit, too. Not enough to soak a pad but the most I've had since the first week postpartum. or thereabouts.

[~Demeter~]

I had some more bleeding than usual recently as well, Desiree. It's cleared up for today... though I've been resting all weekend. I wish my tear would heal. I've been reading up on perineal tears, I'm pretty sure what I've got going on is/was a 3rd degree tear. This will be the third time this happened to me. :( I feel like that's part of why I'm not healing all that well and I'm terrified I may need surgery to repair it.

I have been processing Marah's birth more and more recently. I keep trying to talk to DH about it but last night he essentially told me to get over it... not in those exact words but the meaning was the same. *sigh* It makes me tear up each time I think about it. :(

Depressing post... sorry..

[Ellen Griswold]

Ugh, Christmas.  Thought I was done but I'm not.  Family drama on dh's side is kicking up.  Bah humbug.

[kittywitty]

Oh, Nic. You can't just "get over it". It's so much more than that with birth. Vent all you want here, I still haven't got over my 2nd or 4th births.

[LadyCatherine185]

((hugs)) Nic. While my birth was nowhere near as traumatizing as yours, I still haven't been able to really sit and think and process it. I haven't written my birth story because I don't want to think about it. I think I am in denial that it happened. It was really more after the birth that I am upset/traumatized/in denial about... We almost lost Ian because his cord was pressed against his shoulder and his oxygen was cut off for almost 5 minutes while his head was out, before I had the next contraction to get the rest of him out. He was totall limp when he came out, and didn't breathe for another 5 minutes.. we were all rubbing him/talking to him, etc trying to get him to "wake up" and my MW gave him oxygen.. but he finally did! And he cried and cried and cried for a long time after the birth.. I think it was really scary for him.. and it was really scary for me too. And then for the next 4 hours or so, I felt like I wanted to die.. my afterpains were SO bad, I was shaking and I couldn't move. So while my labor was quick (but very intense.. I did NOT like how fast it went) and free of complications, it was the aftermath that I am still coming to terms with, and I don' tknow that I will ever be able to think back on my birth of Ian and feel happy about it, because it was SO intense, and because of how aful I felt afterwards and the fact that we almost lost my baby..... I haven't even told anyone other than one person IRL about this because thinking about it is so hard.....

[kittywitty]

Catie-that is really scary!!! I am so glad you both are fine now. I can't imagine.

[~Demeter~]

Oh Catie ((hugs)) I'm so sorry you went through that. That is extremely terrifying and traumatic... I can relate to not wanting to write up the birth story. That's how I felt with my first daughter. Her birth wasn't traumatic really... just totally not what I had envisioned, not what I wanted and I felt very guilty about it.

For me, I'm mad at that doctor. I'm mad at some of the nurses. I'm mad... very mad that I was treated the way that I was. I still do not regret going to the hospital (bleeding of any sort was on my list of shit to get help for) and feel I did the right thing. I just don't understand why it was necessary to treat me that way... I really think I will write a letter to the hospital but I want to do it from an unemotional standpoint so I can be clear and concise about my treatment without sounding like an overly emotional loon.

I'm tired of my stupid perineum pulling and hurting. I can't even wear real pants yet because when I do it swells and aches and throws me back days in my healing. :( I just want the stitches to come out already so I can determine what sort of damage is there.

[caseykn]

Catie, that is so, so scary. I'm glad that Ian and you are alright!  Birth, when is goes exactly "right" is highly emotional.  Add in a traumatic, dangerous, or just unexpected experience, and it definitely takes some processing and isn't something to "get over" or even move on from in a matter of weeks.  My first birth was not especially traumatic in the grand scheme of things, but an unknown dr came in at the last second, saw something concerning and yanked dd1 out of me and immediately whisked her out of the room for what seemed like an eternity.  My mw apologized the next day saying that was totally unnecessary but it had already been done.  I remember quizzing dh for months afterward about what the dr did with her out of the room.  I think I was kind of hoping for something medical to have been done that warranted her being away from me, but he kept telling me over and over that they just suctioned her, cleaned her off and swaddled her up.  He got annoyed with me asking him the same thing over and over but I couldn't wrap my head around them scaring me and taking her away for nothing!  All that just to say to give yourselves time to process it.  You went through a huge emotional, life-changing event and had some scary things happen.  The idea that you can/should just get over it because in the end you have a beautiful baby and that's all that matter is just bs.   You can still mourn the loss of the experience you wanted or process the intense fear of almost losing your baby or do whatever it is you need to do.  Nic, I agree that you should write a letter to the hospital.  I really wish I'd done so after DD1s birth.  They need reminding sometimes that their actions affect real patients with real feelings. 

[FarrenSquare]

I am becoming more and more concerned that Desmond may also have reflux or a food sensitivity. Today is the first day I will go without dairy to see how it goes. After you mentioned it in the cloth diapering thread, Desiree, I looked into it and he has many symptoms. He cries at the breast after eating small meals, arches his back away from me before and during feeds, often detaches before he is finished SCREAMING like I'm poisoning him. :( He has hiccups a lot during the day, feeds often, every 40-60 minutes. Sometimes he gives us longer breaks. He has really smelly 'wet' burps and when he does vomit, its not just milk spit-up, its curdled gross spit-up. Last night I jammed a pillow under one end of his bassinet (moses basket? idk) so that he was sleeping on an incline and it made a huge difference. He slept 3 hours straight through, barely fussed. The ultimate for me is that he coughs a lot in his sleep and sometimes makes horrible choking noises, which scare the crap out of me! But last night was better. I also started holding him upright for 20-30 minutes after each feed... so obviously I am not getting much of a break away from baby right now. Eating and sleeping are a thing of the past...

Catie and Nic, I am so so sorry about your experiences. Of course you deserve the space and time to mourn! :hug

Wish I had time to respond to everyone in the thread, but fussy baby fusses all day :( I miss you guys.

[kittywitty]

Farren- Do you co-sleep? Sleeping with Molly's head propped up on my arm next to me helps enormously. Stops the gagging/coughing noises and she sleeps better. I also can keep an eye out for her puking that way. Dez sounds exactly like Molly. Remember it can take 2+ weeks for dairy to get out of your system and it's hidden in a lot of things. Like the calcium I took thoughtlessly 2 nights ago only to have her vomit gratuitously and have a horrible green poop.

[LadyCatherine185]

Farren-- Liam did all of those exact same things, and he had dairy allergy and reflux. Some of it got better after removing dairy, but we ultimately had to put him on Prevacid to stop the screaming during feedings.. He still nursed every hour or so all day and night until he was about a year old though.. unless we were out somewhere once he got a little older he would go longer.. but at home it was every hour.

[karen1968]

Oh my goodness, you poor ladies with the super fussy babies! We have tough days here, but nothing like that.

my big complaint right now is Paige's latch on the right. We've had trouble with it off and on, but the past couple of days it has been SO bad, my nipple feels like hamburger and it is toe-curling painful to nurse her on that side. Using football hold is a little better, but I still found myself swearing and gritting my teeth last time. Other side? Totally pain-free, easy latch...I'm seriously thinking about pumping the right and nursing the left for a couple of days to heal things up. There is a breast-feeding support group I'm going to tomorrow, and I'm hoping the IBCLC who runs it can help me out. And I'm still trying to find someone to do some chiro and cst on her.

Aside from that, my biggest issue these days (not counting sleep!) is keeping Paige safe from big brother. He's poked her in the eye twice today, hard. Aside from keeping them completely separated, I don't know what to do.

[~Demeter~]

There is a frickin' hole in my perineum. Seriously. Don't know what to do.. I can not/will not go back to that butcherer.

[Jodie8]

I have been reading here and there, but haven't had much time to post. Initially Evie was a great napper, but I have an oversupply of milk and OALD which has lead to her having green poops/being gassy and not sleeping so well, so that  (and my 3 year old!) have limited my writing time. I sure appreciate this group SO much and all the support over the past 10 months!!!!

Nic- I had a horrible tear with my son and this baby too-I actually had my midwife take a picture of it before she stitched me up. I think that was a first for her . I look at it now and can't believe how bad it was-looked like hamburger. I didn't start feeling relief until about 2 weeks after. I used lots of frozen pads (prepared with arnica/calendula/hypericum tea-not for drinking, only freezing!) and that totally helped. As did sitz baths. Are you taking sitz baths at all? I didn't think it would help and kept putting it off, but the first day I had one I noticed a huge change. Maybe worth a try??

Now I'm just dealing with hemmorhoids. Feels like a bunch of grapes hanging out of my bum

Catie-My son had cord compression at birth too-he also had shoulder dystocia and came out limp and had a dark purple head but white body. It was very traumatic and took me a while to process. I really understand!!!! He also has a severe dairy/soy allergy and full blown colic (when he was 6 weeks old he slept 6 hours one day and screamed the rest of the time-18 hours. Seriously). Colic sucks. I highly recommend cutting out dairy to anyone who has a fussy baby-all dairy (even whey.casien in margarine etc). It may take 2 weeks, but so worth it. Our results were dramatic-the next day Leo was so much more settled and only screamed for three hours-which at that point felt like a vacation. I've known some women whose babies had reflux as the only symptom of a dairy allergy-no blood in poop, no rashes,etc. So I would definitely try that and I hope you all get some relief

[kittywitty]

oh.my.god. Nic- get thee to a good doctor! not the same one, call around to find one or go to a walk in clinic. I would seriously file a complaint against the ob you had.

Molly has been SUPER cranky crying and fussing and restless from ~5pm-11pm the past couple of nights. So not fun.