How am I having a rotten day when I've only just gotten out of the bedroom and have barely even spoken to anyone (especially my DH, who is grumpy himself)?
Clearly, my own mind is not my friend, but neither are the current circumstances swirling around in it.
Our van has been acting up for a while - hard to turn at low speeds, random noises, etc. But nothing that seemed that big of a deal. Then a new noise started a few days ago and got progressively worse. It was clearly related to the left front wheel and when it was turning. I was hoping it was something rubbing against the tire, but eventually it turned into a metal-on-metal sound. Ugh. I had to drive 30 miles to the (nearer) airport to pick up my sister Wednesday but almost took the van into the shop before I did. It was so awful and loud that I wasn't sure I should make the drive, but there was no one else who could go get her. So I prayed a lot and went out, feeling better because the noise lessened at some point before I got on the freeway. I took the van in as soon as we got home and sat for an hour plus with Eliana (the boys were elsewhere then) to find out just how bad it would be.
And it was bad. A long list of bad. The big thing, the noisy thing, was the wheel bearings. The guy said it could've locked up at any moment and we would've been in serious trouble. Then the tires, alignment, and rear shocks (front shocks, too, but not as bad) all need to be dealt with, too. Of course, I'm just sick about this because we were waiting until today's paycheck to do our Christmas ordering and shopping. We were planning a rather scaled-back Christmas, anyway, and I knew that some things would arrive to people out of town late, anyhow, just because we couldn't order them soon enough. But it was actually starting to shape up to be just fine. And then we got hit with $900 in car repairs.
So, anything I get for anyone now will be minimal. We need to buy digital images of our newborn photo shoot to make prints from and give as gifts, but we can't do that. And we need to make our annual (and much desired by grandparents and great-grandparents) calendar, but we can't do that (that's our biggest expense because we have to do so many). And I was planning to get baby announcements to include in Christmas cards, but because we'd have to buy the digital images AND the cards, I can't do that.
We always host Christmas dinner and it's usually a LOT of money to do it. We've considered the need to have others pitch in to cover the cost in the past, but have never done it. Thankfully the cut of meat we need is on big sale this week and so we may just be able to pull off the meat and a couple of sides, ourselves, and just have everyone bring sides and desserts.
And then there's my birthday. My sister and BIL will be here. My dad's coming in because I asked him to, a year ago. It's my 30th and I while I never have big to-dos for birthdays, I wanted this one to be special. And I don't see how that's going to happen.
Really, I'm glad we (somehow) *could* pay the bill and have the van repaired, especially since with four kids there's NO other mode of transportation that will work. And I'm sure it'll all work out, somehow - Christmas, gifts for everyone, dinner, even birthday (maybe). But it's really, really frustrating, disappointing, depressing, etc.
Eliana must've had a growth spurt. She seems just huge now. Not newborn-like, either.
She's starting to smile more, which is wonderful and makes it a little easier to deal with her getting bigger. I was so hoping this newborn stage would last longer! I want to pull out our postal scale/sheet pan contraption and weigh her again (she doesn't get an official weigh in at the pedi's until 2 months). She's fitting into clothes better and even the size small Bummis SWW that didn't fit her a week ago *just* fits her now. I even put her in a premium PF (snappi'd) last night and it fit reasonably! She's holding her head up really well, even when on her tummy. She loves looking at patterns and will do so happily for a few minutes at a time.
She's definitely still dealing with some kind of tummy issue. Fussy more, mucousy stools, occasionally (but not always) green. She's got what looks like newborn acne that comes and goes. Is that normal for acne, or is it more likely related to food or contact sensitivities?
She's got another cold, thanks to her brothers (though I have it, too, at least in part).
Oh, well.
Last night I started noticing that she looks a lot like my DS2 at this age. I need to dig out more pictures to compare, but the eyes remind me a lot of the picture we used for Iain's announcements, which was probably in this 4 week range.
I think I'm going to go take a bunch of fish oil and placenta capsules, then fix DS's computer, rescue the bar of soap from the toilet, and try to get bills paid and whatever things ordered that we can. Maybe somewhere in there I'll turn on Christmas music and try to feel more festive.
Hope everyone else is doing well.
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