Priorities

[AllisonR]

Another thread about time management got me thinking about priorities. For example, I often think "I wish I could see a movie, but I do not have the time." When I was young, single, no kids... I saw a lot of movies. But now I see 1-2 movies a year, max. But reality is, I could actually see more movies, if I prioritized it. If I spend less time on-line, if I did not paint, if I spent time and effort finding agood babysitter, if I found another job, if I left the house a mess.... countless things. Then of course I could see more movies. It is just that I prioritize these other things higher instead.

So, what are your priorities? What do you make time for, and what do you let go?

I'll start.

I let go of :

movies, tv, reading books (the only time I read a book is when I am traveling for work and even then it is often so stressfull I am too burnt out to try).

I priortized:

a reasonable amount of sleep ( when dd was little I prioritized this over almost everything else. Best decision I ever made.) I also prioritize time online, which is probably not the best decision (ans you can see as I type right now at another hotel on the road). I prioritize home cooked meals, and eating as a family.

[Alyantavid]

My top two priorities when it comes to my kids are sleep and food.  We all do so much better and things work much better when we've all had enough sleep.  And well, I love all aspects of food.

Focusing on those two things has made everything else easier.  Like reading.  I love to read and people are always surprised I have time.  But I read while I wait for ds1's bus every afternoon.  And I read in the evenings while the kids are in bed and dh's doing homework.  I think alot of it is balance too.

[Smidge]

I totally agree about sleep and food and that goes for us adults too.  I also prioritize relaxation for myself.  If I didn't I would be in mental ward ;)  I try to take 3/4 of nap time to surf the web, watch TV and then the other part to catch up on chores, etc.

The things I've given up are spur-of-the-moment type outings, e.g., hiking, running to the grocery store, going out for a drink, going out for dinner, meeting up w/ friends, going out on dates with dh whenever, etc.

Sometimes I miss "that life" but that's life.  We chose to make a family and we make it our priority :)

[*bejeweled*]

What a great question.

My priorities are:

Giving love and attention to my family and resting often.

Studying for my licensure exam.

Having a clean, warm home, so we have a weekly cleaning lady.

Taking DD to her weekly lessons.

Reading, Sudoku, and quiet pursuits that I can do at home.

I need to make exercising a priority.

We rarely do dinners out, movies, running around town, etc. But we have a great family life.
Edited by *bejeweled* - 12/8/10 at 11:52am

[CatsCradle]

Well, for me there are priorities, but the priorities are also intertwined with balance (as Alyantavid mentioned above).  I mean, it is hard to compare my pre-kid life with my present life, given that everything that I need to get done in a given day has drastically changed.  After daily work and family activities, I have about an hour to two hours at night where I can really focus (uninterrupted) on something I desire to do.  ("Uninterrupted" is the key word.  I can manage to do a bunch of things at other times, but sometimes I really need mental focus when doing some of my projects).  The way I look at it however, is that this is just a very short period in my life.  There will be plenty of years to come when I imagine that I will have all the focus time that I need.  As Iong as I keep myself in the right mind frame, I am very satisfied with the actual stuff I do get done.

Pure entertainment stuff (like movies and going out to dinner with friends) have fallen by the wayside simply because it is impractical now, not because it isn't a priority per se (i.e. finding a sitter; getting everyone organized; limited hours in the day to get the "musts" done).  I don't think those things were really priorites before, DH and I just had more time to engage in relaxation sort of things because we had a lot of time to spare.  What has changed is that we don't go out as often, and when we do, DD is with us.  The focus has shifted to activities where DD can be an active participant.  This limits some of the things that we used to be able to do among our adult, child-free friends.

Stuff like reading...well, I pretty much read for a living, so the only thing that I've really put by the wayside is a consistent reading of novels.  Music and art are still important to me, but now I have a sidekick who also participates with me (DD), so the intensity of my work and/or practice has changed.  I still find a way to work all these things in, but it is a different dynamic now.  I tend to think of everything in terms of daily responsibility:  what do I need to get done today; how do I accomplish it; what else can I do once those goals are accomplished.  (yuck, that sounds like life-coach speak!)

[mommariffic]

Right now my priorities are this:

Create a warm home for my babes. This means a gentle rhythm, art time, reading, celebrations (pot luck dinners with friends, music, game nights etc)

Reading, for me books are a life line. I always try to squeeze in reading when I can, even if it means abandoning dishes for the night

Writing, I hired a mothers helper a few hours a week so I can write which is my other passion. This creative release for me, means I'm a more attentive, happy momma

One of my priorities is also spending lots of solo time with DD. We go into Manhattan and do art classes, take car rides to look at holiday lights, and craft together.

[oaktreemama]

  I tend to think of everything in terms of daily responsibility:  what do I need to get done today; how do I accomplish it; what else can I do once those goals are accomplished

Me too. My biggest priority is having time after work for our son. So I make sure housework and laundry are done throughout the day every day so I never have to spend a lot of time in one day on chores.

I enjoy physical exercise so I walk my dog 3-4 miles every day.

But after those things my priorities can shift depending on the day and my mood. One evening my priority might be simply to sit on the couch and watch TV. Another day I might spend my evening reading or cross-stitching. And there is the occasional night where the only priority is getting sleep.

[MissMaegie'sMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by oaktreemama 

  I tend to think of everything in terms of daily responsibility:  what do I need to get done today; how do I accomplish it; what else can I do once those goals are accomplished

Me too. My biggest priority is having time after work for our son. So I make sure housework and laundry are done throughout the day every day so I never have to spend a lot of time in one day on chores.

I enjoy physical exercise so I walk my dog 3-4 miles every day.

But after those things my priorities can shift depending on the day and my mood. One evening my priority might be simply to sit on the couch and watch TV. Another day I might spend my evening reading or cross-stitching. And there is the occasional night where the only priority is getting sleep.

[CherryBombMama]

oooh i like this question!

my priorities are now:

makng sure my dh feels loved. he got all my attention before the boys, and now, some days we barely have energy to talk. i have to remind myself each day to make sure dh feels my love for him.

instead of sleeping like i should, i need to take time for myself to knit or window shop on the internet. otherwise i feel like all i do is mama-stuff all day long.

things ive let go:

friends. not one of my friends is married or has kids. sigh.

baths. lol. i used to lounge around in the bathtub for an hour or so every night. now i get a 5 minute shower every other day, if im lucky.

my hair. i used to do the best 1940s pincurls almost every day. my hair was bright red, with intricate pincurls with no bobby pin in sight. now my hair is just down with betty bangs. :(