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March 27-April 3 - Page 3

post #41 of 111
Liz-I feel your frustration. My dh is generally a really observant, helpful guy, but my bro who lives with us is the mirror image of your dh. It makes me crazy to have to ask him to do anything and then remind him constantly about it! I feel like such a nag and I hate being that person, so that makes me even more angry with him-that his behavior forces me to be that way.

About dh and kids...I have noticed that my dh is a pushover with our ds. I have talked to him about this, b/c ds throws a lot more fits/ignores dh more. Dh says its b/c he doesn't want to spend the little time he has with ds fighting with him, so he lets things go. I think lots of times he ends up fighting MORE than if he was firm in the first place. :

I have also noticed that both dh and bro tend to ignore ds when he is asking for something if they don't want to give it to him. Like, if ds wants up, but they don't want to pick him up, instead of telling ds "not now" or "you are okay" or just "no" like I do, they act like they don't hear anything. This makes me crazy! Language has not come easily to ds and it is so frustrating for me when people don't positively reinforce his use of words. Just tell him no, dammit, but don't ignore him! ARG! When Tain asked for something nicely a month ago, MIL spent about a minute trying to get him to say "please". It was very irritating. Who cares if he says please? He rarely uses sentences at all, most of the time it is hard to understand him, so when you know what he is asking for, just give it to him or don't, but don't frustrate him/make him think he isn't understood b/c you think a 2 yo should have manners! If he was demanding instead of asking or yelling or something, that would be different. But his manner of asking is "please" enough IMO.

I feel disconnected from Rowan lately. It is kind of scary. He's still moving around a lot, but I just don't sense "him" right now. I can't help but think of those ladies that say they knew their baby wasn't going to live b/c they didn't feel a connection to it. I also know I am totally paranoid, but that feeling is lurking back there in my mind. If I don't feel better in the next couple days, I think I'll call my mw for a quick reassurance appt. Maybe it is b/c I have been focusing on Tain so much lately. I had another nightmare about him yesterday. I have never had nightmares about him before so that has been pretty yucky. And he is so wonderful right now that I spend a good portion of my day just loving him, yk? I am not usually a person prone to wild nightmarish fantasies, but lately....
post #42 of 111
ooh, can I jump in? am wearing vs underwear, though in a large now, and they stopped making my favourites (as tends to happen-- apparently, if i like something, it is the kiss of death ).

I had my first pg fall two weeks ago, down half a flight of stairs at a forensics meet-- I sprained my thumb because I was holding on to the railing so tightly! so I stayed more or less upright, only bruised my shin and the top of my foot, and Sprout barely even noticed!

We are taking classes; Bradley, skipping the hospital ones (though we are giving birth at the birthing center connected to a hospital). We've been to four out of 12 hours and while it is getting better, we haven't really be doing much, mostly just talking about things. I was *really* looking forward to K having to give me massages and whatnot, but we always seem to run out of time.

We had someone else paint the nursery, with windows open and door closed; I barely ever smelled anything.

Has been a bad week, stresswise, so I took today off work just to detox. Sprout chose to practice inter-uterine gymnastics until about 2:30 this morning, so it was a v. g. decision. Spent the morning dealing with insurance cos and cleaning; currently feeling v. housewifey.

Looking forward to getting to know all of you better!

post #43 of 111
Thread Starter 
Welcome Sunny!

I feel disconnected from Rowan lately. It is kind of scary. He's still moving around a lot, but I just don't sense "him" right now. I can't help but think of those ladies that say they knew their baby wasn't going to live b/c they didn't feel a connection to it.
Julie ~ I'm not sure I feel overly "connected" to our babe. This is my first pregnancy so I have nothing to compare to but I really thought that the baby and I would be more interactive...more connected on a spiritual/psychic level.

I'm totally excited about the birth, meeting her, becoming a mama...but I really don't feel like I already know her.

And I too have worries about loss. There are some threads about stillbirth that are active right now and I see them in the "new threads." I just want to skip right over them and not look. It's just too scary/painful to think about. But whether we voice it or not - it is a very real and normal fear that exists on some level in all of us.

Anyway...not sure if I'm expressing myself clearly but I just wanted to let you know that I've had some similar thoughts/concerns.

post #44 of 111
Wow, busy busy thread!

We're not doing childbirth classes this time, we did one last time but all the techniques I used during the actual birth I learned doing yoga. So I'm taking the prenatal yoga class instead. I love it! I've been taking it every Monday night since the beginning of my 2nd trimester. They are starting up a Saturday morning class now and I'm looking forward to going to both of them from time-to-time.

All 3 of us were sick this weekend, urgh! I had soooo much I wanted to accomplish as far as housecleaning and stuff, NONE of it got done. 'sigh' I swear my house is turning into a hazardous waste dump!

post #45 of 111
About dh and kids...I have noticed that my dh is a pushover with our ds. I have talked to him about this, b/c ds throws a lot more fits/ignores dh more.
I have this problem with dh as well. Sometimes he'll be telling dd to stop doing something like hitting or eye-poking, and she'll just ignore him while he tells her over and over to stop. He's teaching her that she doesn't really have to listen to him. If she does that to me and doesn't stop when I ask her to, I put her in her room right away.

She also doesn't take naps when dh puts her down because she knows that if she refuses, he will just get her out of bed and let her skip it. Then she becomes impossible to deal with later in the evening. If I put her down for a nap, she just lies down and accepts it, and she even looks happy about it.
post #46 of 111
Julie, I'm not feeling too connected to NewBean either. It's really strange to me, because from almost before I got pregnant with Eli, I knew who he was. I could feel his presence, hear his name, see his face. I could have drawn a picture of him, and it would have been recognizeable as the boy I know and love today.

This time, only one name really seems to resonate with me when I think of it, and quite frankly it makes me feel uncomfortable. (Long story which I don't feel comfortable thinking about, let alone going into). It's a boy's name, and when I think of it I feel like it's somehow definately attached to my child, but because I don't want to feel that way about the name, it's difficult for me to accept it, if that makes any sense. I also have no real leanings toward gender. With Eli, I *knew* he was a boy, again from just before I concieved him. This time, when I try to picture my baby I see a girl of three or four, and I've had several dreams of girls recently but when I think of names the one that 'clicks' is a boy's name. Very confusing! I think finding out the gender would help me connect a bit more.

I have often wondered if I might feel disconnected because this baby doesn't really belong to me the way that Eli does; that would make a lot of sense in terms of the naming situation. I don't feel like NewBean might not survive, (even though I've had serious thoughts that they might be premature...) but I do feel like there will be some kind of loss associated with him/her. Like I'll get to raise him/her but they won't be mine.

Of course, all of this could melt away once I lay eyes on NewBean, or perhaps after we nurse for a while...
post #47 of 111

connection to baby #2

I'm just an ignorant first-timer, but isn't it very typical to feel less bonded to the second pregnancy because you don't want to / feel guilty about taking any of your focus off kid #1? I swear I read that somewhere...

I have a mw appt today, my first every-two-weeker. I'm pretty sure it's overkill, but whatever, I enjoy going to the Birth Center. Dh wants to come too. Yesterday he drove to a coworker's house to pick up a hand-me-own bassinet AND he read some of the Bradley stuff. I think he's beginning to nest

Speaking of Bradley:

...we haven't really be doing much, mostly just talking about things. I was *really* looking forward to K having to give me massages and whatnot, but we always seem to run out of time.
I'm looking forward to the massages, too! Our instructor promiseed that we'd start with a "relaxation exercise' this week. Yay!
post #48 of 111

i am sorry you are worried about your baby. i definantly understand feeling less connected with this baby - but i hadnt heard any stories about mamas losing babies to worry me!-
i feel like there is less MUCH less time to connect with this baby..also for me this pregnancy has been so hard that i feel almost resentful at times... like hey you- GET OFF THAT NERVE.... kiryns pregnancy was like roses compared! lol ... i think much more about the birth than i do about WHO the baby is..i havnt picked a name (picked kiryns at 5 months) so i cant connect on that level. i feel like i am waiting to see who she'll be...one of my fears is that ill get a "difficult" baby and end up with PPD.... so i guess we all have our weird worries.. you sound like you need a hug about yours though. oh and i think the "reassurance " appt with your midwife is a GOOD idea... worrying never helps!
post #49 of 111
Originally posted by seedling
This darn sweet tooth that I develop when I'm preggo. I don't usually like sweets that much. But lately... I'm still eating really well most of the time but am definitely having a few too many treats.
You're definately not alone there! During the first and a major part of the second trimesters I craved nothing but healthy stuff, fruits, veggies, steaks... I didn't want anything cooked (well except the meat obviously but nothing over medium lolI want it pink inside ) and i felt so proud of myself for taking care of myself and the baby. Of course I hit about 20 weeks or so and craved nothing but junk food I'm talking oreos (double stuff), chocolate covered mini donuts, McDonald's, Hardees, soda... Thankfully my tastes are slowly becoming more sensible now and I'm limiting my junk food intake. Now if only I could remember to drink that darn tea :LOL

Has anyone else taken the glucose test? Glucola has got to be the most disgusting crud I've ever put in my mouth...then again, I hate orange soda...

We decided on paint colors! I'm soooo happy! Of course we won't be painting till May, but I feel so much better just knowing I've got the decision making portion of the project done.

On an even happier note, I think we're actualy going to stay out of the red in April! We've been doing pretty badly financialy speaking. Three people, too many bills and me out of work just wasn't cutting it, but now that I'm working again things are looking much better and I'm feeling like I can breathe again! Now, all I have to do is make sure we actually adhere to our budget! Easier said than done, we're new at the budgeting thing (which is why we were in the hole to begin with). My cards said now was the time for careful planning... hehe how appropriate

For now, it's super nice outside and I still have a bunch of cleaning to do...just didn't have much energy yesterday so not much got done Guess I'll see what I can get done around here!
post #50 of 111
I have felt differently about each of my pregnancies.

This one, I feel is a boy, but I sort of force myself to think of baby as a girl....does that make sense? Like, I am afraid if I start going with the boy feeling, I might be disappointed if it is a girl. I dunno.....

Connected....sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes I realize it has been a day or two since I really just laid down and thought about little Crush. Shoot, sometimes I forget I am pregnant! : Like you Rynna, the only name that I feel drawn to, or that clicks as you said, is a boys name.

I have been trying to savor this pregnancy, it is my last, but often life gets in the way.

I was feeling pretty down yesterday. 4 of my brand new shirts were ruined in the dryer. There is a seal or something that broke, and grease got on them. I went to Old Navy to get something else, and they had NOTHING! Then I went to the baby re-sale store to see if I could find some cute neutral things, and again, NOTHING! I went home, cried for a while, then dh and I went and got some really cute things for me at Motherhood. Most was either on sale or was an awesome price, so I didn't spend too much. I just felt a little guilty, seeing as I only have about 2.5 months left.

It is HOT here today....90-95 inland, and we are sort of in betwen inland and coastal...it is probably in the mid 80's here now. Ugh! RRL tea tastes soo good cold! :LOL
post #51 of 111
I just thought of another thing I hate...

Old Navy's website! Every time I go to it, it crashes my computer. It happens when I use other computers, too. I have to try 3 separate times to get in, usually. The same thing happens with the Gap's.

What's up with that?
post #52 of 111
Wow! What a busy thread today! It's finally nice here and we have been playing outside for the past 2 days. My kids are taking a little down time inside right now, mainly because I needed it! Everytime I would just get comfy one of them would need me and I'm exhusted today! OUr crazy shelf building weekend wore me out. Not because I had to build the shelves but because I never really got any me time. The kids were non-stop motion for two days and I never got to hand them over to dh and just veg. I really need that on the weekend otherwise I'm just exhusted come Monday.

Talking about the placenta thing.... I don't think that I would eat it but then again I've never had bleeding issues or ppd. If I did I would probably consider it. I am planning on bringing it home with me and planting a tree with it. The only thing that bothers me about that is what if we move? Right now we have no intention of ever moving but what if??? I know I'm being silly but I think that would bother me. I guess I just have to figure that by the time we moved the placenta would be completly gone anyway.

On the subject of dh's mine goes back and forth between letting the kids do whatever they want and being super strict! It's the one big thing we argue about these days. He's so unpredictable. I'm worried that his relationship w/ our oldest is starting to suffer because she's the one who he's most strict with. UGH!

Well I need to go get the shelves ready to paint tonight!
post #53 of 111
Originally posted by wildthing

I was feeling pretty down yesterday. 4 of my brand new shirts were ruined in the dryer.
I lost six of Eli's nice diapers to mildew.. my mom found them in a bag and when she washed them they just melted in places. So depressing! I just burst into tears .
post #54 of 111
Hey everyone! What a weekend! We've been having an awful time with Ben for the past week or so, he's gotten totally out of control and we are not handling it well. Thank goodness Dh & I are pretty much on the same page WRT discipline (we practice Positive Discipline) but we've both been so stressed out, we're at a loss. We can't figure out what is going on with him but we're trying really hard to not add to the problem, but it is so hard not to flip out when I feel so crummy. It's really hot and I'm getting more uncomfortable by the moment and I am sick of fighting with a 3 year old!! (ok, rant over)

Oh, I started a roll call thread so pop up there and add in your reply I can make one for picture links, too, if you'd like that, or we can just have links in the roll call replies. It's fun to have a whole board to play with

This is gonna sound weird but the past few days I've realized that I'm getting vibes about your babies. I was thinking about how I really knew mine was a boy, and how I wasn't suprised that my sil is having another boy or my GF is having another girl. And then I started thinking that I haven't been suprised by any of your news either. Anyhow, it's silly, but I think I'll make a list of my predictions and see how well I do

Better get finished up here, I have a bit of time to get some work done, msut not waste it!!!
post #55 of 111
This is gonna sound weird but the past few days I've realized that I'm getting vibes about your babies.
Really? What's mine going to be?:LOL
post #56 of 111
Ooo Robin!! I would love to see your predictions!

I agree with you on the heat too! Yuck!

Rynna, I checked out Eli's pictures...he is sooooo darn cute! What a gorgeous smile!
post #57 of 111
Thanks, Donna. We think he's definately a keeper! :LOL

Robin, where's your thread about what we're all having?!? I'd love to see it!
post #58 of 111
Thanks for all the . I debated whether or not to post about it b/c the last thing any pregnant mama needs is someone talking about fears of losing babies! I honestly think it stems from focusing so much on Tain right now. I don't think that I am doing that "smother them with attention right before a sibling's birth" thing or that I am sad he won't be an only child anymore. Honestly, he is just wonderful right now and I feel really receptive to it. Like right now I can see every beautiful thing about him so clearly. As I am writing this I am realizing that this is about the time I got really spiritual when I was pregnant with Tain. I remember feeling like I was not really a part of the world anymore, like I could see through things to the other side, like I could see colors more vibrantly than other people. Hmmm.

There is another reason as well, but I don't think now or here is the time/place to talk about it. So thanks for the community and support, it does make me feel better.
post #59 of 111
hee hee, I'll have to make a little list of my predictions. I don't have a vibe from everyone, but maybe I'll toss in some guesses, too.

Oh, Julie, I forgot to respond about your not feeling connected to the baby. There was a cool thread a while back about feeling the baby's spirit and a few people mentioned that they've heard/read that the spirit goes in and out until birth, some sticking around more and some not really staying until birth. It was a cool idea, maybe reading through that thread would help you get some more peace about it??

I jsut realized I forgot to post my own reply to the roll call thread, better do it before I forget again, lol!

'night all!
post #60 of 111
Robin - I'm looking forward to seeing your predictions, too! I keep going back and forth about the gender of my baby. I had a very vivid dream Saturday night that I had the baby on Sunday. It was a girl and she weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces, and my only thought was, "Thank goodness I didn't go those last two months!"

The funny thing is, I was really thinking it was a girl for the past couple weeks, but now I'm starting to lean toward boy again. I just don't know!

I'm the visitor services coordinator at a children's museum, and so I know a lot of the members (I've been there about three years). Everyone's really sweet about me being pregnant, and about 4 people made a point yesterday of telling me how cute I looked and how well I was carrying the pregnancy. It was so nice to hear some encouragement - sometimes I feel cute, but most of the time I feel like a whale!
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