March 27-April 3 - Page 4

[eilonwy]

Well, this is fun... my appetite has completely vanished. At this point with Eli, I was ravenous. I ate everything that wasn't nailed down, and a few things that were. :LOL Right now, I feel nothing. I thought I might be craving fat because on Sunday I wanted the most greasy things which normally turn my stomach to think about, so I made an effort to remember to take some flax seed oil. Lo and behold, the fat cravings vanished... along with everything else. It's really awful, because Eli gets hungry and starts asking for food and I think "I should be hungry if he is... why don't I want anything?" Yesterday I ate three english muffins with margarine and a decent sized bowl of cream of mushroom soup and felt completely stuffed. Today, I don't think I'll force myself to eat and we'll see what happens. As long as I don't get a low blood sugar headache, I won't worry about it.

Uh-oh, poopy pants! Time to go..

[mattjule]

Robin-thanks for reminding me about that thread. I read it when it was first made so thinking about it now does help.

I had ANOTHER nightmare about Tain last night. This is really starting to annoy me. That makes 3 in the last week and a half. It's getting a little old.

Okay, this is weird, but we found out we were having a boy at 18 wks. I saw the u/s-definitely a boy, in fact it was so obvious, I said "boy" before the Dr. did. So lately, out of the blue, a little birth fantasy will pop in my head and that baby is a girl. Like I'm telling myself, wouldn't that be crazy? Strange. Maybe it coincides with not "feeling" him lately, the gender becomes ambiguous again. Up until this point I have really felt it was a boy. And I already processed my feelings about not having a girl so I don't really know why I keep imagining that. But it would be crazy...:LOL

I got a package from a TP transaction last night. I think I am the only person on the planet to get excited about 2 trash bags. :LOL I also got 6 receiving blankets for the birth (yeah!!!) and 2 changing table covers. The blankets are girly-one is bright pink, but the mama is right, I only want them for the birth, so it doesn't really matter.

I was thinking that this thread is moving so fast, and since we have our own forum now, maybe we should do a new one once it reaches 3-4 pages instead of weekly. Any thoughts?

[Ceili]

My appetite is completely gone too. And for some reason I'm throwing up again. I had an english muffin with peanut butter for breakfast and that didn't sit too well... I don't feel nausous Maybe it was from taking my prenatal vitamin on an empty stomach?

My house is slowly getting clean. DSO did laundry all weekend long, he's even folded it and hung up clothes in the closets.

I had a dream I was bleeding last night... I felt really relieved when I woke up and realized that was a dream and then Thumper started doing a little dance on my bladder as if to say "Relax Mom, everything's okay..."

[Smithie]

dogs and induction

I might get rid of my last remaining foster pup today. Two families are coming to see her. I really love her, but I am trying very hard to make a rational, adult decision about how many dogs I can handle once I have an infant to contend with.

Dh tagged along to my mw appointment yesterday. She is not impressed with my diet, either quantity or quality, but says that I appear to be growing a really great baby (in terms of both quantity and quality). I am certainly packing on the stereotypical mamma fat (face/arms/legs/butt), so I don't think I'm going to worry too much, although she's absolutely right that I'm getting dehydrated and need to drink more water. I'm going to make a serious effort to follow that advice (she said, as she swigged her Diet Pepsi).

We also found out that our options for going past 42 weeks are even bleaker than we thought. The midwifery practice can't find anybody to back them up for "post-term" homebirth (which I don't want anyhow), so if you go past 42 they transfer care to the mw who practices at the big university hospital. That hospital "gives" you until 43 weeks before their policies mandate induction. You can scrounge a few more days by, say, faking a family death and being unavailable to schedule the induction, but they're gonna get you in the end, and you run the risk of winding up with some random on-call doc unless you schedule with the midwife, who will use Pitocin just like any freaking MD.

So, all things considered, I'm going to let my mws use their non-Pitocin bag of tricks to get this baby out at 42 weeks. We fudged my due date a bit to give me an extra week on paper, so it would probably be closer to 43 weeks. The more time I spend at the birth center, the more convinced I am that it is The Right Place for my birth, the place where I am most likely to be successful. If James doesn't cook quite as long as he wants to, well, that's just one more outrage to chalk up to the patriarchy.

God, the kid's not even born yet, and I'm already making compromises with The Man. Aaaaaaagh.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Smithie, If you are concerned about going past due, you should talk to your mws about using evening primrose oil starting at week 36. My mw swears by it. Also, drinking red raspberry leaf tea can help.

I had a mw appt today and did my glucose test. I'm sure I don't have GD though. The last time I had gained 12lbs. in 4 weeks. This time I only gained a pound, but I'm still measuring 2 weeks ahead. The same thing happened with my last pregnancy. I don't have a huge appetite and I get unbearable heartburn that is mostly caused by sweets and highly processed foods. I want sweets so bad, but I won't eat them or I'll be miserable! I guess it's good for weight control!

I hope everyone is feeling well today!

[Greaseball]

Smithie - tell them you're deathly allergic to pitocin and cytotec, and that it also happens to be against your religion. See what they do with that!

Even if you end up birthing in the hospital, you can still refuse induction.

[eilonwy]

Um, you can't be allergic to pitocin, it's a hormone. No doctor on earth would buy that excuse..

You've got 43 weeks on paper.. do you really think you'll go to 44? I'm worried about going to 40.. I was losing my mind with Eli long before he was born (at 37). I guess I'm pretty lucky that way; my date on paper is more than two weeks after the date I figure, and two weeks after that gives me almost 45 weeks. : That is, if I'm not already climbing the walls by 36. :

[Greaseball]

OK, the religion thing then. I hear doctors are so worried about losing patients to homebirth for religious reasons that they will find ways to work with religious beliefs. But it's not like one would have to give such an excuse, patients always have the right to refuse induction. Maybe a midwife can refuse to attend your birth, but a hospital can't.

Dh took dd to our ped today and asked if she would be available to be the new baby's doctor, and she said she thought it was great that we were having a homebirth! She said "I can't really say this around here, but you are definitely making the right decision." Nice to know I don't have to hide my pregnancy from everyone in the medical community!

Are large weight gains a sign of GD? I thought my midwives routinely did the GD test but it turns out they don't. I can ask for one, though. I've had several 4- and 5-lb gains but there is no high bp or sugar in the urine, so we aren't really worrying about it, but maybe I should take the GD test after all.

[Smithie]

You're right, of course, Rynna. I probably won't go to 44, esp. if I do the primrose oil etc. My mom went 43 and a couple of days with me, though, and she swears that her dates were accurate and I wasn't postmature, so that's what I keep focusing on. Of course, going to 43 with me made her so miserable that she went nuts and waxed every floor in the house when she was 39 w/ my little bro. She lost the mucous plug, as she had subconsciously intended, and was induced with Pit and wound up with a C-sec (the cord was wrapped around my brother's head). I can't help but think that that cord thing might have resolved if she'd given it another week. She thinks the same, and was really pissed off that she wound up having surgery. So really, most of my anxiety about going late and being induced stems from unresolved Mommy issues.

[eilonwy]

Actually, those 4 & 5 pound gains (unless they're all water) are probably a good sign that you don't have GD. One of the reasons that I worry about it is because I lose weight during pregnancy, and that's often a sign of diabetes in general. While I was pregnant with Eli, I remember that every time I mentioned having had a headache (as if that's not normal! : ) that they wanted to check my blood sugar. I'm sure there's a really good website out there somewhere with all the signs & symptoms... it should probably be on a sticky list at the top of the "I'm Pregnant" forum, along with that excellent website for fat people that I can't find anymore...

I was born at 41 weeks, 1 day and I was definately overcooked -- dry, cracked, peeling skin, really long nails, blue extremities & lips. I was definately ready to be out. One of the women on the March board was overdue by more than that and had a baby covered in vernix and healthy as you please. We all need different amounts of time to cook, I guess. Eli was still covered in lanugo when he was born, but there wasn't much vernix because I lost all my fluid before he came. :

[Smithie]

Oh, and my Bradley instructor is having us write hospital birth plans that say we are terrified of needles, extraordinarily sensitive to chemicals, and "very private people." Maybe I'll toss in something about my religious scruples - "in pain shall you bring forth children" and all that jazz.

[Greaseball]

My dd was born at 38 weeks (according to u/s; I have no idea when she was conceived) and though she didn't look postmature, she didn't look like a newborn either. She weighed 7.5 lbs, which isn't a lot but everyone I know IRL has 1st babies that weigh under 7 lbs. She had hardly any vernix. She had lots of hair, and she settled into sleeping and eating routines right away. So it could have been she was more than 38 weeks.

[mattjule]

My only concern about fudging dates to give you more time if you go past 40 weeks is that you might go early. Then your baby is labeled premature when in reality it isn't and that means a mandatory NICU stay, etc. plus, if your dates are fudged to be longer, there is a chance that you can't homebirth if you go into labor at 36 weeks, which in reality could be more like 37-38-perfectly fine range for homebirth. I think it is safer to just stick with the dates that you feel are accurate and not try to second guess when your baby is going to be ready.

My mw doesn't put much stock in due dates, which is nice. I think she is legally bound to do something by a certain date, but if no one finds out, what is the harm? I'm not going to tell anyone and neither is she. I doubt any hospital would get a court order for my prenatal records if I did end up going past with some sort of ill effect, especially if we lie and tell them a different edd.

I used EPO around 38 wks? with Tain. He was born 3 days before his edd, but his edd was a VERY ROUGH ESTIMATE so I don't really know how accurate it was in the first place. My mw actually had me do it b/c it is supposed to help with escalating bp. My bp had been going up at my 2 appts prior and while it was not bad, she was trying to do some prevention. It worked on that front, bp leveled off while I was taking it (I only took it orally). And Tain was born w/out going over 40 wks so I guess it worked out that way too. She thought he was going to be big so she was a bit concerned about me going over. Turns out I was the only one that got big during that pregnancy : he was 7 lbs 1 oz. No vernix, but pretty hairy. My favorite thing was his face-he had a beautiful swirl of golden hair in the middle of his forehead. You could only see it in the sun. It took a long time to go away and I think if I look hard enough I can still see it, but that is probably just mama eyes.

[Smithie]

EDD

My due date fudging stems from a disagreement between the radiologist and the midwives. Due to a probable mc the month before, I had NO CLUE when James was conceived, and the dating ultrasound gave us 06/08 as our EDD. At the 12-week ultrasound, they changed their minds and gave us 06/01. The midwives are sticking with the original date, which is fine by me. If I can make it to 37 weeks by EITHER date, I can give birth at the center. They would just revise their opinion and accept the radiologist's date, heh. They seem very willing to do whatever they can to make James' calendar square with the State regulations.

[lilzark]

Hello

Hi you guys, this is only my second post ever, but I needed to vent... this is my first pregnancy, and I don't really have anyone to talk about it with, so I've been coming here.

My due date is June 23, and I've been going to a wonderful birth center. However, lately I have all these worries. For one thing, every time I go to the midwives they say I am a little behind on my weight gain. I hope that's not going to be an issue this time because I have been eating whole milk yogurt like every day DH is vegan so I've been laying on the dairy when I am by myself to try to catch up.

Mainly I came here because I feel like the baby is not as active as s/he was last week and I am paranoid... I am trying to do everything right but I have a constant worry that I am not eating enough or not the right things (I am having childhood food cravings... chocolate milk and Life cereal.) Last night I went to bed worried that the baby wasn't moving enough, and had a vivid dream about walking through a carnival, alone and crying while all these strangers were having fun.

I just feel like this pregnancy has made me feel so guilty, is the guilt going to be even worse when the baby is here? I get to the point where I just can't wait to go back to the midwife because I just want someone to tell me that everything is still okay.

Even when I cry, like while I am writing this, I feel guilty that maybe the baby can feel my sadness

Well thank you for giving me a place to write about this, and thank you to anyone who reads it!

[mattjule]

Big, big ! First babies are so hard. You want to do everything so perfect. My diet was aweful w/ Tain and I gained way too much weight. I felt guilty all the time. Talk to your mw about how you feel. Often a mw's concern for your physical health causes her to be blind to your emotional health. I know my mw really loved and cared about me. I know when she said things, they were cautionary, they were intended to make me aware of something I might not have noticed. But what it really did was made me feel like a failure. Like I couldn't do anything good enough for my baby. And those feelings make it hard to try. So let her know how her words make you feel. Let her know you are aware of the issues and that the constant attention to them is making you feel aweful. My current mw for this pregnancy always tells me I am doing great. And it makes me feel so good that I do better. Everyone is going to have unhealthy cravings. And everyone indulges in them from time to time. As long as your overall diet is good, your baby is not going to suffer from a bowl of Life here and there. There are very few things in a Vegan diet that are bad for you, so you are starting off at a much better place than most pregnancies. Hey, if you feel bad about your diet, go lurk on a mainstream board sometime. The sheer volume of diet soda drunk over there will make you feel like a saint.

Be good to yourself. Allow yourself to be human. The supermom syndrome starts in pregnancy, not just after baby is born.

As far as movement goes, do the kick test when you feel anxious. I have found that on the days I worry about movement, I am so worked up I don't notice little movements, which makes me more worked up, etc. It's a vicious cycle. Lay down for an hour and just listen and talk to your baby. It helps.

you may also want to notice the TYPE of movement. I have noticed that my baby is kicking less and pushing/rolling more. As the baby gets bigger, there is less room in there to move around so how the movement feels is different. Ask yourself if you are really feeling less movement or if the quality of the movement has changed and that is what is triggering your concern. It is amazing the subtle things your subconscious picks up on as you become a mama. Think of it as a good thing, you won't have to worry about rolling over on your baby when it is born, your mind and body are already becoming very attuned to what your baby is doing. If you still feel concerned, call your mw. Mw's go into this field b/c they feel a strong convinction to being available at any time, for anything. Ask to go in for a quick reassurance visit. Listen to the hb, have her feel around for baby, talk about how you are feeling. That is what she is there for. She won't mind, she's been with a lot of first time mamas with first time mama fears.

I know this is kind of long, but I hear so much of my first pregnancy in your words. It is so hard. Try to let some of it go. Remember, you want to look back on this time with joy and wonder, not guilt and worry. I let my guilt pretty much ruin my pregnancy with Tain. I refuse to make that mistake this time.

Oh, and I also spent a lot of time feeling angry at myself for feeling bad at all. That only makes things worse. "Honor how you feel today". Saying that to myself a lot really helped. "Honor how you feel today" and it will be easier to let go of the buildup.

And keep talking, it helps! I am pretty much alone this pregnancy and this group of mamas has saved me so many times.

[lilzark]

thanks

Hi again mattjule. Thank you for your thoughts, they were really really helpful. I was sniffling all over again when I read your post but I think it was because of relief.

I am feeling a little better this afternoon, and when I looked back at my post it seemed so sad. I wrote down when the baby moved today, and I felt about 4-5 little pokes before I stopped writing, so this made me feel better. Maybe you are right, the baby is bigger so it's not hopping around as much

My 30th birthday is coming soon and I think that is catching up with me along with pregnancy worries.

Thanks a lot!

[Greaseball]

Well just for fun I tried looking in the Guiness Book of World Records for the biggest baby, but they didn't have a listing. I looked around some more and found a story about one who was about 24 lbs at birth, born vaginally to giants, and didn't survive. And there was something on a message board about "My doctor said he knew someone who delviered a 16-lb baby vaginally." But I never did find any official record.

I read in our local paper about a baby in our state who was born by c/s at 14 lb and some oz, and he was listed as the 14th biggest baby in Oregon. I know pamamidwife has delivered two at home that each weighed 13/6, and Frank Sinatra was born at home weighing 15 lbs.

I think the smallest surviving baby was 10 oz.

[dharmama]

Welcome lilzark! and here's a big I'm expecting my first and my 30th b-day is in a couple of weeks too!

Anyone else getting backaches?

Just in the last week I've been getting them. And I'm pretty active...yoga 2x a week, swimming, stretching every morning. But ay, ye, ye...by the end of the day I am SO achy.

I'm seeing my chiropractor on Friday and I'm going to ask him if I can start to come more frequently (I've been doing once a month).

eilonwy ~ My appetite is all off. This morning I just could NOT figure out what to eat. NOTHING appealed to me. DH kept offering suggestions...I could make you...oatmeal, pancakes, french toast, scrambled eggs...how 'bout a bowl of cereal. I was just like

Ended up having peanut butter on toast (and being an hour late for work). :

~Erin

[Doodlebugsmom]

Erin, I have been having backaches too. Especially in my lower back. It gets pretty bad at times and I walk like I'm 90 years old! I had the same thing with my last pregnancy. It is worse on days when I do lots of cleaning or yard work. I have a gift certificate for a massage that I think I'll cash in this weekend! Yay! I've had pb on toast the last two mornings too!

Lilzark, I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time. I think Julie gave you some great advice, and it sounds like you're feeling a little better. You should join us more often.