Grr. I'm being the Grinch.

[VisionaryMom]

We do not live in a very diverse place...just wanted to get that out of the way.

Yesterday DS brought home a "wish list" he'd completed during library time of things from the upcoming book fair that he'd like. Okay, fine. They're not exactly what I'd choose to get for him (2 sticker books for $9 each), but I get the point.

Today he comes home with a paper with 3 pictures pasted onto it. They apparently looked through toy catalogs at school and picked things they'd like to get for Christmas! Am I wrong to think that's weird? He's not getting any of the things he put. One is a giant Bumblebee (from Transformers) that's $50. He's never even seen Transformers. We bought a small one a while back, and it was a nightmare to transform. 

Then there was a little battery-powered scooter. I'm not opposed in theory, but there's ice & snow everywhere. I wouldn't buy him one now. I couldn't tell what the other thing was - some type of track.

But all I'm thinking when I'm looking at this is "what about parents who can't afford these things?" Doesn't that make you feel worse when your kid comes home with this list from school? I guess a written list wouldn't bother me as much because I could see the point, but this just rubbed me the wrong way.

[kriket]

Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but I would have flown off the handle about this. It's like they are grooming him to be a little consumer. I'll let the book list slide, I'm sure the library makes money from the sales, so .... eh. But taking class time to cut out pictures of toys? Please explain how this is AT ALL educational.

I'm ruffled for you!

[Eeyore35]

Is he in kindy? maybe they are doing a more visual letter to Santa type thing? It doesn't like a Santa letter by your description,though.

It would bug me. The book thing, well, I am  huge on encouraging reading in kids, so that wouldn't bother me except I can't afford much, even from scholastic. I go to used book sales, and get tons of great stuff super cheap.

I would not like that much focus on the present aspect of xmas. Seriously, the kids will do that enough on their own, without the teachers actively encouraging it.

[earthmama369]

It may not be a very diverse place, but they're ASSuming that all the children celebrate Christmas, and that's a pretty big no-no to me. That and prepping kids to be consumers like that would both have me going in for a conference.

[whatsnextmom]

My kids never did anything like that at school. They always studies holidays around the world but no specific Christmas wishes or anything like that. I would find it annoying but I'm one that likes to save her battles for more important times. I'd probably just be honest with the kids about how I felt or disreguard it totally.

The kids do have the option of making a list of books they are interested in during the book fair. Sometimes my kids would spot something and write it down, other times not. I'm totally in support of this as my kids always have known writing it down isn't a guaruntee they'll get it.

[One_Girl]

I can't afford things like that and it also doesn't bother me when dd comes home wanting things that are expensive.  She wants almost everything she sees in a catalog and in the stores so she tends to be happy with what she gets for Christmas.  I also like knowing what she wants because there is usually an affordable alternative or something very similar that I am able to get for her so lists and having wants don't offend me.  When we can't afford something we talk about it and make a plan for saving if it is important enough to my dd that she wants to save for something.  I believe there are a few major religions that celebrate with gift giving during December so I don't think that the wish list necessarily sounds like a Christmas only thing even if that is the holiday that most people in your area celebrate.  If you are really bothered by it then maybe you should talk to the teacher, but going off about something like this may cause them to view you as the parent who takes everything too seriously and then it can be a lot harder, or even impossible, to get them to take you seriously about real issues (I used to be that mom and it was hard when something real actually happened and they just saw it as me going off again).

[nanette0269]

Thats so presumptuous.  First, not everyone can afford it.  Second, what if that toy catalog is filled with items you dont want your child to have...even if you could afford it?  I dont want any character items (except maybe PJs), and i dont want to buy anything that needs batteries (so called interactive toys), and i avoid plastic toys (except for the items that are given to us).

That doesnt leave much else...so i'm very selective on those.  Fortunately, since my kids dont see those items a lot, even if they saw them in a catalog, they would forget them as quickly as possible.  Unfortunately, the process of cutting and looking instills in their minds what they want....harder to remove it from their memory then.

[Geofizz]

My kids also attend schools with little ethnic, religious, economic or social diversity.  Often stuff comes home where my response is "what were they thinking?!?" 

I use it as an opportunity to discuss our family's values - weighing of wants, needs, and wishes in our decision making.  I would also probably look at the book or toy wish lists and ask why they wanted them or why they chose them.  We also get the wish lists from the Scholastic sale, and it often turns out DD writes down the book names with the shorted titles, or has written down the sticker books because they were pink.  If she actually wanted sticker books, then we'd probably dig through the stuff we've got and revisit the sticker book obsession for another week with what we already have.

Lots get lost in translation at school, or things end up being brought home that were actually cold-weather recess activities (run by parents moms), or really were really a lapse in judgment.  I'd actually be willing to bet the teacher was looking for a good activity to practice skills with scissors....  DD just finished an economics unit where they discussed philanthropy and charity (giving, not receiving), but not poverty or thrift.  They did a thing where they made chocolate lollipops and sold them at school, donating all proceeds (not the profit, but gross proceeds) to charity.  We finished off that unit at home during dinner table discussions, including an estimate of how much of their donation was from the initial donation of the chocolate.  At most other schools, I'd be willing to bet that portion of the lesson wouldn't have been skipped.

[StephandOwen]

Yikes! The book thing I don't mind. They have the scholastic book fair things at ds's school about every other month. The first day of the sale they let the class walk through and make a list of the books they want, along with the price. I actually really like this because ds loves books but hates writing so it's a good way to encourage him to write! LOL! They've never done a wish list or anything like that for Christmas. This year they are writing letters to their parents/guardians/whomever about something they want to buy for Toys for Tots to donate. This I don't mind, because it's part of a lesson about how we need to be part of the community and help others. DS has already bought/donated toys to Toys for Tots so I don't know if we'll buy whatever he wrote in the letter (they haven't sent them home yet). But it's still a good lesson in sharing, and also in writing letters (in 1st grade).

[elus0814]

That would really bother me. The book fair wish list doesn't bother me so much because it would give parents an opportunity to tell their child 'this is why we don't buy $9 sticker books....but how about _____'. That's way better than sending in money for you child to spend with no idea of how it will be spent. When I was a kids I would always spend book fair money on these multicolored erasers that were super trendy then in my school then I wouldn't use them to keep them pretty - great use of funds, huh? In preschool, before homeschooling, my kids would write a letter to santa as writing practice. I think it's a great way to work on writing skills since the kids will be into it, it was a Catholic school so they knew everyone celebrated Christmas. My kids brought home lists of things I knew they wanted, like a doll cradle, but seeing random pictures from a catalog would really bother me. The pictures could be of things your child doesn't even want because that's what the other kids said were cool or those were the only pictures remaining when he got the catalog. 

[VisionaryMom]

It's just weird. And no, I'm not going to go in to talk to his teacher about it. I have other fish to fry in terms of math differentiation for DS, so I don't want to use up my goodwill complaining about a Christmas activity. It is icy & snowy right now, and their school is without a boiler for heat in most of it (long story). I'm sure his teacher is trying to come up with something for them to do because they also can't have PE class right now, so there's no energy outlet for the kids.

We do not shelter as much as many mamas here, but we definitely aren't into uber-consumerism. I won't let my kids watch or do a lot of things that other kids do. At the same time, my DS has the personality of a rampant materialist. He will want everything he sees and will whine & complain. We're already discussing EVERY DAY why we won't allow him to have a TV in his room because other kids in his class do (or think they're getting TVs for their rooms for Christmas). Before kindergarten, he had no clue this was even a possibility!  

Last night he was talking about the scooter he saw that he now believes fully that he's getting because he cut it out and put it on the list. I've never had them do lists, so we've never had the "you can ask, but you won't always get it" talk. We were getting them roller skates, but now I feel that's going to be pretty pathetic compared to the scooter.

[Lisa1970]

This is typical and normal. When my children were in public grade school, there were fundraisers where the parents had to pay in hundreds of dollars. Then, they would give trinket prizes to the kids who brought money in front of everyone, so your child was always left out. My oldest would come home asking for things he really did not want, because everyone else wanted it. By high school, all the students were required to have computers and working printers with paper at home. What about the kids who cannot afford it? The school board actually had the nerve to say that those are not the kids that concern them as those kids generally don't go to college anyway and are just a problem for the district (fortunately, that school board was voted out this past spring, but the computer and printer requirement is still there, don't know if it will change).

It cost me sooo much money when we had the kids in public school. And I felt like my children were always unhappy, trying to be just like everyone else, when they were really their own people. I love it when the school says they don't have enough time to get everything done, and then can spend part of the day cutting out Christmas catalogs, having baby showers for the teachers (included the kids, during the school day), and participating in lots of pep rallies for fundraisers and football teams. Seriously, I don't get why I have to pay the taxes to support that.

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom 

It's just weird. And no, I'm not going to go in to talk to his teacher about it. I have other fish to fry in terms of math differentiation for DS, so I don't want to use up my goodwill complaining about a Christmas activity. It is icy & snowy right now, and their school is without a boiler for heat in most of it (long story). I'm sure his teacher is trying to come up with something for them to do because they also can't have PE class right now, so there's no energy outlet for the kids.

We do not shelter as much as many mamas here, but we definitely aren't into uber-consumerism. I won't let my kids watch or do a lot of things that other kids do. At the same time, my DS has the personality of a rampant materialist. He will want everything he sees and will whine & complain. We're already discussing EVERY DAY why we won't allow him to have a TV in his room because other kids in his class do (or think they're getting TVs for their rooms for Christmas). Before kindergarten, he had no clue this was even a possibility!  

Last night he was talking about the scooter he saw that he now believes fully that he's getting because he cut it out and put it on the list. I've never had them do lists, so we've never had the "you can ask, but you won't always get it" talk. We were getting them roller skates, but now I feel that's going to be pretty pathetic compared to the scooter.

Awhile back, dd1 started talking about getting a DVD player in the car, because other kids have it and she thinks it would be cool or whatever. I just pull the mom card on that one. I tell her I don't believe it's a good thing and it's not going to happen (dh and I are in total agreement, so the next line--if she pushes it--is "dad doesn't believe in it either.") Probably do the same with the TV in the bedroom. Might talk a little sometimes about why, but since it's non-negotiable, I don't want her to think she has wiggle room.

It's a really hard age, I think (dd1 is in kindergarten as well).

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by claras_mom 


Awhile back, dd1 started talking about getting a DVD player in the car, because other kids have it and she thinks it would be cool or whatever. I just pull the mom card on that one. I tell her I don't believe it's a good thing and it's not going to happen (dh and I are in total agreement, so the next line--if she pushes it--is "dad doesn't believe in it either.") Probably do the same with the TV in the bedroom. Might talk a little sometimes about why, but since it's non-negotiable, I don't want her to think she has wiggle room.

It's a really hard age, I think (dd1 is in kindergarten as well).
 

Yeah, we had to talk about why because DS just wouldn't let it go. I did let him watch a cartoon version of Green Eggs & Ham in his room on our portable DVD player (that my mother conned someone into getting us because we NEED one for our car). He thought that was really cool, and it seemed to satisfy him to get that 45 minutes to "watch TV" in his room. I told him that we value creativity and imagination and physical fitness and that a TV in his room would discourage that. He's really into being healthy, so he took that answer pretty well.

[emilysmama]

It's funny you mentioned this.  Yesterday, my first grade daughter asked me for X for Christmas.  I said no.  Then she said that she would ask Santa.  I told her that she knows that there is no such thing as Santa.  So she said she would make a wishlist and put it on her wishlist.  Where did my daughter learn the word "wishlist" and how does she know what it is for?  (I assume she learned it somewhere in school.) She said she didn't know where she heard the word.  My husband and I just treated it the same way we always do when she tells us, "I want.. I want... I want..."   We told her that she can wish all she wants, but we are not buying it for her.  She must be used to this rejection from us because she said she didn't care, she was still making the wishlist.  And there is now her wishlist, prominently displayed on our refrigerator.  Sometimes, all you can do is laugh and keep saying "no". 

[LauraLoo]

Along the same lines - We just got a letter from "Santa" sent home from school with a copy of my daughter's letter to sent to Santa.  In her letter she asked for a doll, a pair of shoes, and an iPod.   Santa will not be bringing her an iPod or shoes.  The funny thing was that this letter back from Santa said he could handle the first two requests (which will kind of be a bummer for her since we aren't getting her a pair of shoes - she doesn't need any additional shoes), but that he might not be able to handle the iPod, and hoped that she would understand.  Now, if we were planning on getting her an iPod, I think that she'd be really upset to hear that Santa couldn't do it, since we normally discuss what "Santa" is up for.  This year it was a doll that Santa is planning on bringing her.  This whole thing has me scratching my head since I'm sure that there are plenty of other kids in her class that will be disappointed to not get anything on their lists and I'm certain that there are a few in her class, at least, that don't celebrate Christmas at all.  

[redpajama]

I hate this, too.  My son has never made a Christmas list--oral, written, pictorial or otherwise--before he started school this year.  He might occasionally point something out and say something like, "I want one of those!" or "That's so cool!" but he didn't have any concept of making Christmas requests, just woke up on Christmas morning to presents and was pleased.

This year, he brought home a THREE PAGE list he had written at school, in the most endearing little Kindergarten spelling/writing, wherein he asked for all sorts of electronics ("cumputr," ipod, several video game systems) amongst other things.  I already had a clear plan for his Christmas gifts, but I adapted my plans a little to include a couple books from his list, his grandparents are giving him some dress up clothes (from his list), and his sister got him a Zhu Zhu pet (also from his list).  

THEN, because that wasn't enough, he brought home a letter to Santa, which simply read: "Dear Santa, I relly wot a DS so much."  Now he really has it in his head that he's writing to Santa and that doing so will affect the likelihood of him receiving a DS (something my husband and I had agreed he could probably have some day, but not for another year or two or three).  As a result of this list/letter, my well-meaning parents went out and bought him a DS this afternoon, which is very generous of them and also EXTREMELY irritating, and which totally throws our little Christmas plans for a loop.  

So.  Anyway.  I'm with you; I think it's ridiculous, and I feel like it's sort of "ruined" this aspect of Christmas for us, in some regards.

Oh, and he brought home a book fair "wish list" as well.  

[MusicianDad]

So many things wrong with having kids write Christmas lists in a public school class that I have no clue where to start.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by redpajama 
("cumputr," ipod, several video game systems) amongst other things.  

Last night, he said, "oh, yeah, I need a new laptop for Christmas." Ohhh, ok. 

He also told me that our Wii isn't "cool." He needs a PlayStation or xBox to be cool, which my husband tells me actually is true. Still we're not getting either. Our time on the Wii is limited, so why the heck would we spend another $300 on a gaming system. He didn't even know these things before school. At the same time, in a study of the school's families, they discovered the average kid watches 3 hours of TV A NIGHT and 8 hours on the weekend. Holy cow! It's no wonder they want everything they see.

DS luckily has found another boy he's bonded with, and this little guy seems to come from a family more like ours. They've been comparing things they have, but the thing he has that DS wants too are things we're more likely to get for him.

It's hard because I know I'm probably one of a handful of parents who balked at getting a Christmas list, but then I remember writing letters to Santa when I was a kid (mainly because I didn't believe in Santa and remember feeling sorry for kids I knew weren't going to get what was on their lists, even though they were really excited). 

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by LauraLoo 

The funny thing was that this letter back from Santa said he could handle the first two requests (which will kind of be a bummer for her since we aren't getting her a pair of shoes - she doesn't need any additional shoes), but that he might not be able to handle the iPod, and hoped that she would understand.   

That's outrageous! I'm totally dumbfounded at that one. How dare they! I'm searching for some explanation like you are on a secret "charity" list and they are trying to let you know that they will handle those requests.... but I'm thinking that's just not the case!