I haven't read all of these posts -- but just wanted to pop in with my own story from the other side of the spectrum.
I have a 2.5 year old with high functioning autism/aspergers, possible hyperlexia, and a memory like you would not believe.
All of that weirdness you feel when you're around other moms and their kids? Yeah -- I feel it, too. Because instead of sitting around on a carpet, playing happily with the other children, my son is in the midst of the mothers and fathers, talking your ear off about the different kinds of train cars, or how the tow truck takes broken cars to get fixed -- and how his daddy makes tow trucks on a robot! lol.
Does he know his alphabet? colors? shapes? numbers? -- sure does.
Does he speak? -- you can't get him to stop speaking half of the time. He was talking in 5 - 6 word sentences by the time he was 18 months old. o.o
BUT -- Can he hold a conversation? -- nope.
When you tell him that his shirt is "sharp" (you know, like cool?) does he smile and say thanks? -- Nope. He starts feeling it for the "sharp" (as in pointy) part.
Does he make up fun little pretend scenarios with his toys like most other kids his age? -- Not a chance.
The toy thing is funny, actually -- since so many moms on here are not into the electronic toys. If it weren't for interactive toys, Ryan would do nothing but robotically move his trains around the train table. Seriously. The only "play" that my son gets is from playing the little games and things that all the interactive toys do. We love leap frog in this house.
But anyway -- no, I don't think it's specifically a parenting style, though I do think that sometimes you can wind up in a catch-22 type of cycle between parenting style and child's personality. But the most important part is just to remember that even those moms who are bragging about how smart and how awesome their kids are, or how well behaved they are, don't get too jealous or down on yourself -- because chances are, they might have some crazy problems too. And they may just not be telling you about them. :)
And PS -- Ryan still doesn't sleep through the night either. Though I do finally have him down to nursing only 2 - 3 times per day.