.....If so please join in!
One thing I’ve discovered on this parenting journey is the way it’s brought about feelings of inadequacy, and perfectionism. I’m not sure how and why this has manifested, but I’m starting to believe it’s just the beast of being a parent. And then on this waldorf path, for whatever reason I have bought into the notion that if only I knit, bake, sing songs, do crafts, sew – be more domestic - that I will be a better mother and wife. Realistically I know this is a ludicrous, and I have come to accept that some of these things are not me, as much as a I think I’d like them to be. Also, being a homemaker has not come easy for me, I don’t feel this is my calling, but I know that I have been lead down this road to grow and learn.
I feel like I know exactly what to do but yet I can't do it. I have compiled notes and read so much my eyeballs could explode. Yet, for whatever reason our life does not reflect the ideal one that I have in my mind. I just want our home to be airy, clutter free, peaceful and beautiful. For days to flow peacefully. Ha!
Really I wish I could just relax and appreciate each day as a gift but something inside just won't let me. I get so caught up in the details that before I know it, time has sped on by and then we never even get started with all the stuff I "planned". My honey says just start whatever, but with my personality I can't. I have to have everything just so and all the right tools before I feel comfortable doing something. I have a rhythm posted that when we actually follow it, our days are better, but no...I can't stick to it every.single.day. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to not care so much..
Edited by whoami - 12/9/10 at 8:00pm