Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, working moms: do you work out?

[Path2Felicity]

My DD is almost 13 months.  She doesn’t take in a lot of milk while I’m gone out of the house so much of her milk intake is at night or when I get home in the evenings.  Sometimes she still wakes up 3-4 times at night.  She goes to bed at about 9 PM and wakes up at around 8 or 8:30 AM.  I am out of the house in the mornings at 7:30 AM. 

So, moms who are working full time, cosleeping, and breastfeeding: WHEN do you work out?  I got up this morning at 5:30 to squeeze in an early workout before getting ready for work and the day.  However, my DD has adjusted herself so that she takes in much of her milk before I get up in the morning so she woke up this morning in shock that I wasn’t there and my husband spent about 40 minutes putting her back to bed.  I feel so horribly about this.

By the time DD is sleeping, I’m so exhausted.  I just have the energy to finish the dishes, answer personal emails, and do other stuff that needs to be done in the house.  I couldn’t imagine working out at that time- I’m usually in bed by 11 PM, at the latest. 

I feel guilty working out when I get home because I feel that’s my time to focus on her.  Even if I’m not playing with her, I am still around for her to be held, carried, kissed, or smiled at.  I couldn’t really do that while working out.

So… WHEN do you find time to work out?  I NEED to get back into the workout groove but I’m either too exhausted or feel too guilty to do it.  Sigh.

[poorlittlefish]

I don't.  I don't know when I would do it or find the energy. I used to run 1/2 marathons and up to 40 miles per week but I just can't do it right now.  I don't even see the light at the end of the tunnel because even when i am not nursing and co-sleeping, I don't want to give up time with the kids to work out.  I feel enough guilt as it is. Not very encouraging but that is my reality right now.

[Ellien C]

I don't work out at all - but I would encourage ANY mother to make some time JUST for herself once a week and do it without guilt. Even 10 minutes a day is good. If  working out is your thing, than give yourself permission to do it, allow your child to bond with the daddy and let him find his way with the baby (they cry with momma sometimes, too) and don't feel bad.

Having said that, I know my schedule certainly wouldn't allow 40 minutes 3-4x a week for a workout. But I definitely could work in a few hours on the weekend or even 10 minutes daily. I would encourage you to think of the workout as "me-time" rather than workout time, so you can focus on what you ARE getting - time for yourself to do exactly what you want - rather than what you aren't getting - a good work out that gets your heart rate up, builds muscles, and allows for a proper stretch and cool down.

[Ellien C]

PS. The first year is totally the worst. All available energy goes to childcare, work and running the household. After the first year you start to get a little time back to be yourself and after they turn 2 you really do get some time back to do the things that make you you. I remember feeling like there was no ME left in that first year.

[lunarlady]

I belong to a gym with a childcare center. I come home from work, nurse the girls, feed the older one a snack or early supper, then shlep us all to the gym. Usually my baby falls asleep in the car, and the older one thinks the gym center is a giant playdate, so I can take an hour or so fairly guilt free. That being said, I only make it to the gym about once a week, but I figure it is better than nothing!

[Anna Phor]

I don't work out. I get off the subway a stop early and walk an extra half mile to work, IF I'm on time and there are no early meetings that day.

I used to swim at least once a week, and we've been taking kiddo to the pool, but of course we are playing in the baby pool, and I'm not swimming laps. BUT if I was going to work out, that's totally when I would do it ...

[laurabfig]

I've found in my life as a mother there are just seasons when I get out of shape and can't find the time to exercise a lot.  But signing up for races has helped me get into the habit of running again...I am SLOW and out of shape, and don't train as much as I should, but it helps me get out there and exercise b/c I know I have to be ready for an "event" that I've paid for.  I run in the late afternoon or on weekends when dh can stay with the kids.

[caenach]

It turns out that working out is really good for my sanity. I work out Tuesday and Thursday evenings, after work, and Sunday morning while DH does some "just DH and DD" activities. Yes. I feel guilty on those weeknights when I am eating into some of the only time that I get to spend with DD, but she gets to enjoy time with DH then. And I'm a much better fulltime working, cosleeping, breastfeeding mom to this 2 year old when I get some time in the gym.

[meemee]

During lunch break. we are allowed to eat at our desk. so i'd go for a half hour to 45 min brisk walk during lunch time.

i actually quite enjoyed that.

otherwise i wouldnt have managed. i would have felt guilty about taking away from dd's time.

while i was pumping - forget it. 

[Path2Felicity]

Thank you all so much for the replies, suggestions, and sharing what you do.  I'm thinking of maybe doing video workouts when I get home from work, while my husband is home so that my DD sees me and can play with me around.  I can do this 2 days during the middle of the week and can take advantage of her naps during weekends and work out then.  Sigh.  I really like the idea of getting off the subway stop earlier and just walking the rest of the way.  It's winter now and freezing, but oh well.  I would do lunch break except that I don't know if I can motivate myself to do it during that time of the day.  I'm usually so hungry that I can't focus on anything except food past 11 AM. 

Do moms ever stop feeling guilty?  I do thin of exercise as "me time" but then I feel like I don't deserve it and that I'm damaging my daughter forever for being so selfish.  Ha!

[KLM99]

Piling on to this thread, but I'm in a similar boat and I just don't work out.  It saddens me, because I used to go to the gym 4-5 days a week and really enjoyed not only my time at the gym but also the way I felt long afterwards.  I have a 3yo and a 1yo - the 1yo co-sleeps and has a similar waking up pattern to what you describe.  I already wake up at 5:30am and barely have time to get out the door as it is, and by the time I get home around 6pm, I want to spend all my time with the kids until they're finally in bed by 8:30pm, then I have about an hour to clean up and do whatever I need to before my son wakes up again.  Sometimes he'll sleep for up to 3 hours, but I never really know.  I'm totally exhausted by the time I get in bed.  I just don't see working out fitting in right now, but I'm hoping it will again sometime.  In the meantime, lots of walking whenever I can and outside activities on the weekends.  I feel really out of shape though :(

[akind1]

I do like a PP and take DS to the gym with me, it has a child care center. He seems to enjoy it. I think it is like $10 a month for child care and it is unlimited. not a bad deal.  Otherwise I would not work out at all!

If our neighborhood was more walk-able, I would do that.

Another working mom and I with kids about the same age get together after work and stroll around a park. This way I get adult/mommy coversation time + excersise + boys can play on the playground when we are done.

[CI Mama]

Originally Posted by Ellien C 

PS. The first year is totally the worst. All available energy goes to childcare, work and running the household. After the first year you start to get a little time back to be yourself and after they turn 2 you really do get some time back to do the things that make you you. I remember feeling like there was no ME left in that first year.

What has worked for me is commuting to work by bicycle. It's brilliant because I must get to work and biking takes the same amount of time (or less) than riding the bus. I invested in a good commuter bike + gear so that I can carry lots of stuff with me (change of clothes, food, etc). Now that it's winter & there's snow on the ground, I'm riding the bus again, so I'm not getting enough exercise. BLAH. And yeah, if I can't combine exercise with some other required task in my life, it generally doesn't happen. I try to do a little yoga/stretching each morning. I get to a dance jam once a week. But I only get nice sweaty work-outs when I commute by bike.

[t2009]

Originally Posted by Path2Felicity 

So, moms who are working full time, cosleeping, and breastfeeding: WHEN do you work out?  I got up this morning at 5:30 to squeeze in an early workout before getting ready for work and the day.  However, my DD has adjusted herself so that she takes in much of her milk before I get up in the morning so she woke up this morning in shock that I wasn’t there and my husband spent about 40 minutes putting her back to bed.  I feel so horribly about this.

I have just given up on working out unless I can do it with DS because of exactly this ^^ problem. DS is such an inconsistent sleeper but when he wakes up in the morning he definitely wants mama (still at 20 months).

We've gone through spurts... I take advantage of the periods during which he likes going for a jog with me (13 mos was one of those periods) & I just talk with him the whole time so I feel like we're getting some quality time together. Otherwise, I bike to school/work when I can. And we go on a lot of walks (though usually slow toddler walks that don't feel much like exercise...).

It's actually quite depressing me these days because I hardly get any time to myself (for exercise or otherwise) and I feel I would be so much healthier if I could get into a routine, but I think it's just the nature of the moment. I hope it'll pass.

BUT if you can find some time for yourself (evenings or weekends) DO NOT feel guilty taking it! Exercise for 30 minutes, get back to your DD (sweat & all), and shower once she goes to sleep. Good luck!

[texmati]

no. :bag.

The only thing I managed to do sometimes, was to take a walk with ds in the morning before I left for work. I do have memories of doing jane fonda/denise austin with my mom when I was a bit older, so maybe that's an option?

[Skippy918]

Last winter/spring, I joined a gym close to home and was working out 2-3 days a week.  I would go to the gym after I put DS to bed around 7.  When his bedtime moved to around 8, it got harder.  Then my gym closed and then I got pg, so I haven't worked out since then.  It's so hard to find time.  I should start taking some walks, but I don't really feel motivated.  The only time I feel I can work out is after DS goes to bed, but I prefer to relax with DH and watch TV.  I guess I could go during lunch, but I hate the whole showering thing afterwards.

[Quinalla]

We have a stationary bike in the basement, so that helps a lot, I would never work out if I had to go to the gym, the logistics just don't work for me right now Even so, just this last month I really started working out again (my daughter is 13 months), before that I didn't have the energy or time to do it. Now, I did make a point to park further away and try to walk with my DD outside when the weather was good, but not that true cardio working out though until recently. And it wasn't a guilt thing with me, though I can understand that, but I do think letting go of the guilt will help. Working out improves your health so much, it benefits your child too!

[MelW]

Jogging with my littlest in a stroller (and big sister biking alongside) was my major workout without needing childcare. Or biking together with the trailer.  My work schedule has varied a lot over the years, so my timing keeps changing, In my regular day job I did runs on my lunch hour, too.

Now we go once or twice a week to "family funcamp" which is a bootcamp held at our school gym in the evenings from 6-7. The kids roam around the gym and play (it's totally insane) while the adults get a pretty tough workout. Some evenings I have a clingy toddler and end of getting an extra workout doing some of it with her in arms. I love it, and the kids beg to go and play.

[superfizz]

Work out? what's that?  On the weekend I get up very early and go for a walk.   I try and do mini work outs in the morning before my girls wake up.   Since I am pumping I can't use my lunch hour for a walk.   It's a bit of a bummer but as others have said, I think it will get easier. 

[honeybunmom]

Not working out here, either.  And I used to 5 days a week and was cut and trim!  Two kids and 10 lbs later, I'm still trying to get back to the gym. And yes, I am thankful it's only 10 lbs more.  We joined a gym last summer with a kids' club.  Then separation anxiety hit (for our 1.5 year old).  Or was it head lice (with our 5 year old)?  Either way, both severely derailed our attendance since we think our daughter got head lice there (they have totally different hair textures and he's very unlikely to ever get it, so one could get it and not the other - his AA like mine and hers pretty straight like dh's family).  Her hair is waist length, so, I'm not excited to go back.  Plus, now it's winter and we seem to keep passing the colds around.  Dd's derailed her for 2 weeks and gret into an upper respiratory infection!  Anyway, she's interested in dancing salsa (my other go-to work out back in the day) and I just found a studio that offers a kid's class at the same time as a zumba class.  I kind of hate to do it since zumba is offered at the gym and therefore included in what I'm already spending there, but it just might be the only way.  Dh and I will get back to the gym at some point, though.