4 1/2 year old suddenly dealing with separation anxiety... Help please!

[Taryn237]

DS started preschool last year at 3 1/2 and loved it.  He is 4 1/2 and goes M,W,F from 9-2.  The past month he has suddenly not wanted to go.  I've tried going in his class for a bit while he gets settled but its hard because I have my toddler with me also.  We are expecting a baby in April so maybe that's what is causing this?  I really just have no idea.  This morning we got to preschool and he was getting upset and said he had to throw up so I brought him back home.  As soon as we left he was fine.  Everytime he gets upset about school I get upset.  I was bawling in his classroom on Monday (probably partially preggo hormones).  He has always been very secure and attached.  He loved going overnight to Grandma's and playing with babysitters.  Now he only wants DH and I.  

Having him home all this past summer was very hard for me.  He really needs interaction with other kids and a play date for an hour or two isn't really enough.  Which is why we decided to do the longer day at school.  I don't want to unenroll him.  With a 22mo and a baby on the way I can't homeschool.  On the days he was upset and DH just left his school he calmed down and was fine within 10 min.  And at pick-up he told me how much fun school was.  I hate leaving him upset though.

[Tjej]

You staying and crying in the classroom really isn't going to help calm your son down.  But I'm guessing you know that.

If preschool at the times you have him scheduled is your plan and you are sticking to it, then drop and go is generally the best way to do it.  Make sure there is a teacher available to console your son, and leave in an upbeat and gentle way (Bye, DS!  I love you - we'll see you in a few hours! Your teacher Ms. Teachie is here to help you with anything you need!).

If you trust the teachers to love him and support him then he'll come around.  At least in my experience with kids and such things. 

NOW, all that said, I don't generally do it that way.  But I am more flexible as far as classes or not goes. 

Tjej

[Minxie]

I just went through this with my almost-five-year-old son. At 4.5, he developed a bit of separation anxiety though he's been going to daycare of some sort since he was an infant and has been at this particular center for two years. I handled it by talking to him and asking him what we could do; we decided on four hugs and two kisses in the morning. He considers himself particularly tricky if he can sneak twenty hugs which he does by patting me and counting each pat as one hug. I don't care because just deciding on a limit seemed to settle him down and now I can get out the door once again without stress.