I think the sign in and out issues should be addressed. I feel that is the real issues.
I am going to get flamed but my son is 16 and doing a college program and I see a real need for parents to not be helicopter parents.Many of the parents that I ran into these programs were more likely to be helicopter parents. At 5 there is a range of development and their should be movement to short period with out mom around. I don't think 8 hours a day is necessarily best. At 5 -8 range if the child cannot separate then it should be a goal. I would ask seriously if I wasn't created the positive balance of pudding independence and interdependence.
I am not a complete unschooler or classical. I am a mix batched. But I think it is good for our kids to explore without us so they can learn how to question and ask questions. Figure and discover things on their own and with their peers. Even though we have and had structure (because that is what some kids needs) I do think there is value on self teaching and the gaining from knowledge from someone else.
What parents often ask in these classes are not what the kids want to learn. They aren't their questions so they miss learning what they want and need. They can feel "less" or not learn HOW to ask for themselves. They do not learn to trust their capabilities.
One example that I saw with was and an eagle program. This was a mixed parent child group. The parents had their questions they were fascinated and I saw many kids wanted to focus on the gross stuff.....then influenced (often negatively) by the parents reactions. I feel this is counter productive to learning. They were following the adults lead and no room to explore their curiosities. Parents were to afraid the child would learn the wrong stuff or miss that what the Eagle's diet was. My children learned about how pesticides almost killed eagles off...they didn't focus on the food chain or diet -much. They questioned that later or they connected the dots when we learned about other animals and the food chain and webs.
This is a food for thought video about our roll in teaching
Another flame moment here, but I make reservations for cars. I have parents call in because their children have not learned how to themselves. These are 20-30 somethings that don't know how to make car reservations, hotel reservations, et. Go to colleges and you see young people who have been crippled because the gradual process of teaching independence, there for making mistakes on their own has been denied.This is harmful in the long run. Now that she has decided to go to school (and my son) they both have learned how to question and follow their interest further. My
Teaching independence is important and can make your child feel good about themselves. A few years ago my dd did a Mother's Day advent. One of the activities was they held hands in a circle and told one reason they loved their mom ---but the catch was they couldn't say what anyone else did. This was a group of 20 girls and my dd was last. The leader joked with her daughter about doing her laundry. These girls said everything their mom's did for them. My dd was disturbed because I no longer did many if not most of those things for her all the time. When it got her her there was a pause then she said, "I love my mom because she taught me how to do my own laundry and cook if I want." Later I got a hug and a thank you for making her a capable person.
I do think there is a balance to raising independent/interdependence kids. I think AP and homeschooling is great but at the same time I think we need to make sure we are loving not smothering or hampering their growth. And yes, there seems to be a disproportionate of the homeschooled kids in my son's program that seem hampered by over involvement in their child's education.
I did not homeschool to learn with my children -- that was just a natural side effect of homeschooling. I homeschooled to give them the best education. I homeschooled so I could grow with my children and to make sure they grew strong and thirsting for more knowledge, while knowing I am not able to give them it all....but help them find ways to get it themselves. I have had to grow and learn that if I am not careful I place my fears into my children, with will harm them more than help them. In the traditional school environment, I didn't learn how to take risk. I still struggle with that. But we actively work so our kids will learn to push those boundries and take risk.
A friend of mine is sending me May Contain Nuts by John O'Farrell. Because of discussions we have had.