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managing a child with a mood disorder

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 

It's looking more and more like 8yo ds will be dx with something, whether they call it bipolar or not.  (I don't care how they code it as long as he gets treatment, yk?)  In the meantime, I need some advice on how to manage his hypomanic rages.  I don't think this belongs in the general GD area, or even Mental Health, as I've noticed it's mostly about the grown-ups there.  :)

 

Ds has been symptomatic since infancy, but he has never acted out at school.  Up until yesterday, that is.  We saw his sleep specialist in the early am and then got to school around 11am.  I had to carry him in the building.  I couldn't believe he was doing this at school, so I wasn't sure if I should give in and just take him home.  We got him into the guidance counselor's office, but she was of no help.  Just looked shocked and sort of smiled lamely and laughed a bit every time he screamed.  I gave up and we went home.

 

This morning it started because I was packing his lunch and he wanted school lunch.  I had to actually dress him and carry him to the car, then carry him into the front office.  This time they called one of the administrators, and she was AWESOME with him.  She told him straight up "We are the adults.  We care about you, and want you to be happy, but we make the decisions, not you."  I tell him that all of the time!

 

His class was in the auditorium for a holiday program, so the dean and I took him into the empty room where we tried to calm him down.  It didn't work.  We spent the next hour fighting to keep him from opening the door and running out.  He tried to get out the window (ground floor).  He threatened to destroy property, but didn't actually do it.  After one hour, the class was coming back, he was curled up on the floor sobbing, and I took him home.  We brought all his classowrk for today, and he happily did it as soon as we got home.  Go figure.

 

Anyway, the dean is going to have the county's ABA come down to talk to us, and I am setting up a private one for home.  We go back to the psychiatrist in a week or two, and hopefully now that ds has finally flipped out at school, the doctor will take me seriously and start a med trial. 

 

In the meantime, am I doing this right or wrong?  Ds is very grandiose in his opinion of our relationship.  He truly believes he is charge of me.  I am a very consistant disciplinarian, and ds is obsessive, rigid, and stubborn.  I'm sure that is partly his brain disorder and partly just plain old being my child.  :)  But am I supposed to keep bringing him to school, fighting with him for an hour, and then taking him home?  Does that teach him that "bad" behavior gets him what he wants?  Or do I listen to him when he tells me he just can't handle it that day?  It's not like he cries and begs me to stay home.  That would bring out the loving side of me.  Instead, he informs me he won't be going and I can't make him.  That makes me want to remind him who is in charge.  It's not even an argument, I just silently go about moving him where he needs to be.  If he was a different child, I wouldn't feel so inclined to assert my authority, but he just isn't the type of kid that I feel I can give an inch to, if that makes sense.

 

Any advice?  I am starting to dread what might happen Monday morning!

post #2 of 2

Oh momma how hard. My son has struggled with school because of anxiety and I have had the same questions. Many people think it is better to get him there and keep him there because that is the environment he has to learn how to deal with. But I think he needs to have a better handle on his anxiety and depression because school is so hard for him.

 

I hope your DS's psychiatrist will take his symptom's more seriously now. It is important to get a correct dx and meds. They can make all the difference.

 

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