Need help with newly adopted kitty, maybe just commiseration?

[mama2004]

Over the past year, I lost two kitties, Oscar and Penny.  They were both 17, Penny died unexpectedly, Oscar died after several months of being ill with what was probably bladder cancer.

Just last month, I was thinking that maybe it would be nice for me and for our remaining kitty if we found a new friend.  I went to the humane society and came home with a lovely little six month old kitten that we named Zora.  The transition hasn't been seamless, in part, I think, because Zora was part of a feral litter that was rescued (the volunteer that day neglected to point that out, and I didn't read her history all that carefully).  Zora used my son's bed as a litter box (peed twice and pooped once--same day before I found out) during her first couple of weeks with us.  I chalked it up to stress, maybe the bed was appealing, etc.  Bedroom doors have been kept closed religiously.  Then she peed on a blanket in the living room that my ds (3.5) was using as a fort. Ok, two strikes.  I really like her, and though she's a bit of a project, I feel responsible, since I agreed to care for her.  She just peed on a sleeping bag that my ds had out earlier so he could make a "cozy gopher tunnel."  

I don't think I can adequately control our home environment in a way that will prevent these peeing incidents from happening.  I can't imagine keeping all blankets/duvets/fluffy things forever out of reach of this cat.  And my husband definitely can't tolerate any more extra curricular peeing (see above, Oscar died of probable bladder cancer--he was in pain at times and urinated in places, bless his heart, mostly in the bathroom on the tile where it felt cool, to let me know about it).  I'm just so sad to think about returning her to the humane society.  I feel like I've failed her if I do that.  She's such a love when she's not being all lizard brained, and we've worked so hard to help make her comfortable here.

I guess I'm wishing that someone could say, "Oh, I had that same experience, and I did this magical thing and the cat never peed anywhere but the litter box ever again."  Probably not, huh?  So do I take her back?  Abandon her to her fate?  So sad.

[~Adorkable~]

i would maybe start with keeping her in a room with nothing soft but her very one litter box for any time where you arnt not directly with her, maybe a week or so of that will get her attached to her box.  definitely give her her own box in general, some cats are big on that.

so maybe a bathroom or laundry room with a small cat bed some toys and a litter box and go from there. 

[mama2004]

Thank you so much for your reply!  When she came home to us, she actually ended up separated in a small room for nearly two and a half weeks; she had an upper respiratory infection/conjunctivitis that I wanted to be sure was treated thoroughly, and she was pretty skittish.  She went back in that room for another four days or so to start over when things seemed a little too aggressive between her and our other cat.  During that time, she was all good with her box (we have two now, I'm thinking of adding a third).  The behaviorist at the humane society recommended Bach flower essences (I've given her and our big guy some Rescue Remedy in their water already).  I also have a Feliway diffuser on the main floor where we all spend most of our time, as well as a pheromone spray for extra coverage.  I am currently running my duvet through the wash for the fourth time, because my ds didn't quite latch the door all the way when he came in to my room to snuggle yesterday, and I have the cat pee to prove it.

The behaviorist also recommended separating her again to keep her confined and limited to just using her box.  It's actually quite a bit of work to do that in our small house and she hates it, although better than trying to clean up cat pee.  I think I'm going to wing it.  Sounds silly, but I've noticed in the past that when I take the time to have a detailed "conversation" with my other kitty about what is going on and why, the situation seems to mellow out a lot (e.g., giving meds).  So I'm trying that and the Bach stuff.  I'm hoping that we can get this in hand.
 

Originally Posted by ~Adorkable~ 

i would maybe start with keeping her in a room with nothing soft but her very one litter box for any time where you arnt not directly with her, maybe a week or so of that will get her attached to her box.  definitely give her her own box in general, some cats are big on that.

so maybe a bathroom or laundry room with a small cat bed some toys and a litter box and go from there.