Reflecting birth ending in section (?'s about it)

[sbgrace]

After (if I recall) almost 3 hours of pushing we ended up with an section for fetal distress. It was not an emergency but they did want it quickly once it was decided. I think it was reduced heart tones with contractions or something like that. And he wasn't coming out. Anyway, that baby was not breathing and was blue and required CPR but I'm not sure if that's unusual in a section or not (other baby was fine).

Baby A (distress) was the issue or was it me/the pushing? I don't know and I guess that's what I'm wondering. We did try various positions but that was the nurse making suggestions.

He was posterior and presentation was abnormal. I know the OB told me the next day that she had only one other delivery like my son's presentation and that mom had many (6 or something like that) natural births previously and ended in section with that baby. She said his face was tilted and he was stuck. He had broken blood vessels (actually, still does) at the bridge of his nose. I don't know if that was his stuck point or not because she was talking about his chin upward if I recall. They struggled to get him out of in the section because of position in pelvis or something. Hooked? I've always wondered if she told me that honestly or she was trying to make me feel better because at the time I was very emotional and, really, devastated.

Does this sound like I could have done it had I had a midwife or doula instructing me in pushing? I'm ok with it all now. I do wish I could do some things differently but it's ok. So this isn't a question with a bunch of emotion attached but I have always wondered and been sort of hesitant to ask.

[Banana731]

http://img216.imageshack.us/i/presentationlv6.jpg/sr=1 

I do know of babies being born vaginally with crazy presentations. My understanding from reading about the accounts from those attending the births, and from talking to women who have had them or attended them is that they are difficult and long.

Also decels are fairly common in 2nd stage, usually though, they recover okay. Babies can be slow to get started breathing, or take a bit to pink up.

But just because all these things can happen and a baby can be born vaginally with them occurring and be okay, doesn't mean that it always goes that way. Pushing for 3 hrs is a long time by hospital standards. And there was no descent? How low was the hr going, when was it decelerating during the ctx? was it going back up to a normal rate after the ctx? When you say the baby needed CPR (babies born by c/s do not automatically need resuscitation, to answer your question) what do you mean, was the baby intubated, or did he just need some air blow-by? When you were pushing, were you following your own instincts and pushing with your own urges, or being instructed to push? There are so many variables, that it's really hard to say what if anything could have been different, you know?

I think, personally, until you need more it's always best to have midwifery care. It's always best to be able to birth in the way your body is telling you to birth. It's best to have a person there who can make suggestions to help get your babies into the most optimal position before they get stuck in a less desirable one, if it can be avoided. I will never know if my c/s was something that could have been avoided, but I deeply regret not attempting a HB the first time. I feel like I may have ended up with the same birth ultimately, but it would have definitely been because I exhausted all my other options first. Finding peace with my first birth because I cannot change it, and knowing that if I end up birthing with an OB again it will be because I HAVE to -that's the best I can do for me.

[*MamaJen*]

Without knowing all the details, it sounds like you may have had a "stargazer," or baby with a hyperextended neck, and from what I understand, a C-section is always necessary in that case.

Congratulations on your healthy babies. It's okay to grieve the C-section even as you're happy for your babies. I know a lot of women who had emergent C-sections like to get their hospital records and read their files and really understand what happened -- it can give them a sense of closure.

Edited by *MamaJen* - 12/12/10 at 8:14pm

[coyotemist]

Hugs, mama, just from the description you gave, I would have to agree that your c-section was necessary, and even with the best midwife, you probably would still have needed that section.  It sounds like baby-a could not back up to re-present with baby-b behind.

As for reflecting on your birth, I think that many many many of us do this, it is healthy and normal.  With my last baby, I semi-sort of had the birth I wanted, but he has some issues and I will always wonder if I had done something different would he be different?