Postpartum Chat - Page 2

[NoraFlood]

Is anyone else having a really hard time? Johannes is 10 days old and breastfeeding is going pretty bad. He has a really hard time latching on, and then when he does latch he stops sucking within a couple of minutes, max. Sometimes I can wake him up, but then he just stops sucking again and we repeat the whole cycle. He has never actually finished a feeding in his life; he is just on and off constantly and his belly never gets full. I am pumping as well to try to maintain supply, but it is almost impossible to find 20 minutes when he will actually let me put him down so that I can pump. The pediatrician is having me give him a couple of ounces of formula a day, which I hate but I am learning to live with because I know that he's not getting enough otherwise.

I am finding the rest of his care to be pretty easy, but feeding him is so all-consuming and problematic that it's making the whole newborn experience pretty miserable. I really want to be able to enjoy him, but I am so frustrated all the time.

[ein328]

Originally Posted by NoraFlood 

Is anyone else having a really hard time? Johannes is 10 days old and breastfeeding is going pretty bad. He has a really hard time latching on, and then when he does latch he stops sucking within a couple of minutes, max. Sometimes I can wake him up, but then he just stops sucking again and we repeat the whole cycle. He has never actually finished a feeding in his life; he is just on and off constantly and his belly never gets full. I am pumping as well to try to maintain supply, but it is almost impossible to find 20 minutes when he will actually let me put him down so that I can pump. The pediatrician is having me give him a couple of ounces of formula a day, which I hate but I am learning to live with because I know that he's not getting enough otherwise.

I am finding the rest of his care to be pretty easy, but feeding him is so all-consuming and problematic that it's making the whole newborn experience pretty miserable. I really want to be able to enjoy him, but I am so frustrated all the time.

Breastfeeding can be very frustrating in the beginning. Both my kids have been "snackers"- they nurse, fall asleep, wake up, nurse again, repeat. What I've found helps is having a glass of water and my computer/a good book handy. I've accepted that most of my day is taken up by nursing, so I find things to help make the time go a little more quickly. Also, do you have an electric pump? I often pump on one side while I nurse on the other. A little tricky, but once you get the hang of it it works. Also, have you tried changing his diaper in the middle of a feeding? Sometimes that helps with waking them up. 

But yeah, breastfeeding IS a lot of work- very rewarding work, but work nonetheless. The first weeks are rough for a lot of mamas- after DD#1, I expected it to be. I promise it gets easier- it just takes a while to establish the breastfeeding relationship. Once you two get in synch, you'll treasure the one on one time instead of feeling bad. 

Have you talked to anyone (a lactation counselor?) besides the pediatrician? Have you weighed him before and after feedings to see how much he's actually getting? Pediatricians get remarkably little education in breastfeeding- I'd be sure to talk to a lactation consultant as well. 

[lovesoup]

I'm having very similar issues. Jasper is sleepy all the time that I have to wake him up for feedings. I'm meant to be feeding him every 2 hrs because he had a bit of jaundice at 5/6 days (not enough to warrant light therapy). I definitely have an oversupply, so feeding him every 2 hrs is for my sake as well, or else my breasts get SO full and hard and uncomfortable and I am frankly terrified of plugged ducts/mastitis.

The two best ways I've found to wake him up are changing his diaper, like ein328 said (he hates it, it is guaranteed to make him angry, which is a good thing in this case) or wetting a washcloth with some cold water and wiping it over his face and feet. Kind of mean? Probably, but it works, and no long-term harm done. Last night nothing worked, not even the cold cloth, or taking him out onto the porch in the cold air, or blowing in his face, or ....I was in so much pain!

It's been so tough to find a lactation consultant because of the holidays. I finally got a hold of one yesterday and she's going to come over tomorrow or Monday. I can't wait, I feel like I'm going to learn so much. His latch definitely also has issues -- he grinds up my nipples. It's so painful I have actually found myself moaning (labor-style) involuntarily through feedings. This breastfeeding thing is hard!!

[Climbergirl]

It is hard at first.  But honestly, so is anything worthwhile to learn.  Remember, you are both learning a new skill :)

Last time for me was so hard, but now, things are soooo much easier with #2.  He is not opening his mouth very wide, like his brother, but at least I know what I need to do.  And, I can assess his latch much better.  I am a LLL leader and all my other co-leaders are also IBCLCs, so I feel like I have an army to help if I need it :)  My son is a bit jaundiced but that is to be expected since he is O+ and I am A-.  I had to get the Rhogam shot (poo) and try to make sure this guy is eating as much as possible.  But he did gain 3 oz in 2 days so the pediatrician is not worried that he is getting enough.  And thank goodness my toddler does not mind helping out with any engorgement!

Now, if my dang sitz bath herbs would come, I would be so happy.  As of now, they are still not here (I ordered them 9 days ago).  Come to find out, there are now 3 packages that should be here that are not (1 is Christmas gifts from my uncle and aunt).  I am a bit annoyed as the mail lady has been such a flake on some things (like she won't pick up any outgoing mail if there is no mail coming to us).  I have a second degree tear and a labial tear and they still hurt after 5 days.  Like "sitting is too painful and I am still hanging out in bed" kinda hurt.  DH went and got me more cold peri packs.  I really want to get around more and go to the main level more.  But my midwives want me to go up and down once.  Argh.  Glad my sister is coming tomorrow because DH is exhausted.

[ein328]

Originally Posted by Climbergirl 

It is hard at first.  But honestly, so is anything worthwhile to learn.  Remember, you are both learning a new skill :)

Last time for me was so hard, but now, things are soooo much easier with #2.  He is not opening his mouth very wide, like his brother, but at least I know what I need to do.  And, I can assess his latch much better.  I am a LLL leader and all my other co-leaders are also IBCLCs, so I feel like I have an army to help if I need it :)  My son is a bit jaundiced but that is to be expected since he is O+ and I am A-.  I had to get the Rhogam shot (poo) and try to make sure this guy is eating as much as possible.  But he did gain 3 oz in 2 days so the pediatrician is not worried that he is getting enough.  And thank goodness my toddler does not mind helping out with any engorgement!

Now, if my dang sitz bath herbs would come, I would be so happy.  As of now, they are still not here (I ordered them 9 days ago).  Come to find out, there are now 3 packages that should be here that are not (1 is Christmas gifts from my uncle and aunt).  I am a bit annoyed as the mail lady has been such a flake on some things (like she won't pick up any outgoing mail if there is no mail coming to us).  I have a second degree tear and a labial tear and they still hurt after 5 days.  Like "sitting is too painful and I am still hanging out in bed" kinda hurt.  DH went and got me more cold peri packs.  I really want to get around more and go to the main level more.  But my midwives want me to go up and down once.  Argh.  Glad my sister is coming tomorrow because DH is exhausted.

Yay for nursing toddlers! My 15 mo is wayyyy more effective than the pump. I have an incredible oversupply, though. I don't mind it because I need to freeze for when I go back to work...right now I'm nursing DD#1 and DD#2, plus pumping 15-20 extra ounces. Oh well- more to share- even if I feel like a Holstein right now. 

I agree- nursing #2 is so much easier. I think it helps when you're more confident about your body and more relaxed- baby picks up on that. 

I'm sorry it's taking so long for your sitz bath herbs. Last time I had a 2nd degree-tear, so I was all prepared this time....and no tear! Go figure. Have you tried soaking pads in witch hazel and freezing them? Really helps. 
 

[NoraFlood]

Originally Posted by ein328 Have you tried soaking pads in witch hazel and freezing them? Really helps.

Seconding this--I had a second degree tear that likes to make its presence known once in a while, and frozen witch hazel pads are like instant relief. They're even better than the cold packs I got in the hospital.

[lovesoup]

I didn't even have a tear and I still used the frozen witch hazel pads. Great for the skidmarks, general soreness, and also hemorrhoids, if you're lucky enough to have to deal with that! I just wish I could wear them walking around during the day -- I'm using my cloth pads so obviously as they unfreeze they leave a big wet spot on whatever I'm wearing, so I mostly use them when I lie down in bed at night. I guess I could go out and buy a pack of maxipads for during the day...

[Climbergirl]

I was putting witch hazel in my peri bottle and it seemed to sting a lot.  Come to find out, my witch hazel also has 14% alcohol in it.  Ouch!  And with today being Christmas, nothing was open.  I may be able to get DH to run to Whole Foods tomorrow for some herbs to tide me over.  Or, depending on when my friend gets back in town, she could get me some leftovers she had.  Argh.  I am irritated about this.

I just want to be able to sit normally without too much irritation.  That's it.  It can be sore, that is fine. 

Although, I still have to say this is MUCH better than my c-section recovery!

[wholebreath]

Been through the ringer a bit this week. Eamon was diagnosed with silent reflux Monday. Finding out why he was screaming and writhing after each feeding was good, but U wanted to try some natural ways to treat it before going the medication route. Unfortunately with the holidays I couldn't get in to see any if the practioners I wanted to, and I didn't want him to be in pain until after the New year, so Zantac it is. Seems to be helping, but we still have to hold him upright after each feeding (and this kid likes to eat!) and he really isn't sleeping anywhere but on one of our chests. That's when he's sleeping at night at all. I keep staring at the clock at 4:30am thinking "only 1.5 hours until we start our day with Oliver" I have no idea how I'm going to manage by myself when all the help goes home.

And I am never having a baby at Christmas time again. It is just too much.

[AndysQueen]

Oh, you POOR thing!  I'm sooo sorry you are going through so much!  My DS had reflux and the Zantac really did help.  It took a good week or so to seem to fully do the trick, but that should really help and it won't be so daunting to think about having to take care of the two kids after your help leaves.  Hang in there, Mama!  ((HUGS))

 

Originally Posted by wholebreath 

Been through the ringer a bit this week. Eamon was diagnosed with silent reflux Monday. Finding out why he was screaming and writhing after each feeding was good, but U wanted to try some natural ways to treat it before going the medication route. Unfortunately with the holidays I couldn't get in to see any if the practioners I wanted to, and I didn't want him to be in pain until after the New year, so Zantac it is. Seems to be helping, but we still have to hold him upright after each feeding (and this kid likes to eat!) and he really isn't sleeping anywhere but on one of our chests. That's when he's sleeping at night at all. I keep staring at the clock at 4:30am thinking "only 1.5 hours until we start our day with Oliver" I have no idea how I'm going to manage by myself when all the help goes home.

And I am never having a baby at Christmas time again. It is just too much.

I'm doing great!  And I LOVE having a winter baby!  Yes, it's more bundling but there's something about it I just love.  Christmastime is such a magical time, birth and babies just seem to fit! 

Avonlea turned 2wks on Friday.  We had a 6-day NICU stay for her that totally sucked but she's home now and doing great.  She nurses like a champ - and I totally agree with whoever said that it's easier with subsequent babies because you are confident in your body and more relaxed.  There have been a few times that I've worried maybe she wasn't getting enough but quickly was able to get myself back on track knowing that she'd let us know if she was still hungry and obviously she's getting what she needs from me.  She's a really a great sleeper.  She sleeps 6hrs at night most nights and naps a ton during the day.  She's really a joy to have.  Just today she stared to 'coo' a bit while looking around this morning.  It seems early to me for that?  We'll see if it was a one-time thing. 

Also, I seem to be getting some sort of sex drive back.  Maybe because I'm actually getting sleep?  That seems to be a greater correlation for me than breastfeeding...

My parents took my 2 big kids to Virginia and North Carolina for the week to visit my extended family and DH's parents/sister.  It's been AMAZING to have this babymooning time with Avonlea!  And to really be able to reconnect with DH.  I'm so grateful for this time to just soak up the newborn moments while I can!  :)  Life is good! 

Lastly, am I the only loony person thinking about the idea of another baby in the future?  I'm totally content at this moment and wouldn't want another until Avonlea was closer to 2.5 but I've been thinking a lot about how I don't feel like we're 'done'.  Something has to be wrong with me! 

[AndysQueen]

Oh, and my greatest Christmas presents this year - I'm .5lbs below my pre-preg weight (and usually its LONG after I'm done nursing that I lose the weight) and Avonlea slept 12am-815 Christmas morning!  WOOHOO!  (Yes, it's the simple things! ;) )

[MoonStarFalling]

I got my sex drive back on day 3 or 4. Is that totally insane or what. I'm not sure how long I'll end up waiting. I've never felt romantic this early. I actually came out of the OR thinking I totally want to do this again soon! But we won't start trying again for about a year.

Nursing him has been a little frustrating and I've been at it for almost 9 years now! Ro is sleepy, a little snacky and doesn't want to open wide enough. Half the time he won't nurse side lying at night. It takes a few weeks for baby to learn.

[ein328]

Originally Posted by MoonStarFalling 

I got my sex drive back on day 3 or 4. Is that totally insane or what. I'm not sure how long I'll end up waiting. I've never felt romantic this early. I actually came out of the OR thinking I totally want to do this again soon! But we won't start trying again for about a year.

I feel the same way! With DD#1, it took FOREVER to get my sex drive back- as in 6 months or so- I'm sure having a second-degree tear had a lot to do with it. Then when it did come back, wham- preggo again. 

This time, I'm already wondering if we can cut the "6-week rule" short. But I still need to figure out the BC part, because I personally CANNOT handle having 3 kids under 3 (I know some people can and love it, but it's not for me). I love NFP, but I have a hard time using it while BFing. In said instance above, I got preggo my first cycle postpartum (which was at 6 months, even though we exclusively BF) with virtually no fertility signs- drier than the Sahara. On the other hand, I'm morally opposed to hormonal birth control and IUD for religious reasons, so....yeah I gotta figure this out!

[WifeofAnt]

Originally Posted by MoonStarFalling 

I got my sex drive back on day 3 or 4. Is that totally insane or what. I'm not sure how long I'll end up waiting. I've never felt romantic this early. I actually came out of the OR thinking I totally want to do this again soon! But we won't start trying again for about a year.

Not totally insane.  I was thinking about it for a while and finally felt healed enough two days ago (James was 2 weeks 5 days).

[wholewheatchick]

Thought I might revive this thread a bit...

Is anyone else losing their hair?  Mine is coming out like crazy.  I feel like I'm in chemo or something.  I am (was?) trying to grow my hair really long again, but I am seriously considering going and getting it cut above my shoulders...at least the strands won't be as long!

Beyond that I am feeling mostly healed.  Rachel and I go walk a mile everyday.  Our nursing issues are almost all under control, so I am hoping to start doing some EC stuff this week.  She LOVES to nurse, and has mostly gotten over sleepy baby problems.

So far we have used the ring sling and the Moby wrap. 

[NoraFlood]

Originally Posted by wholewheatchick 

Thought I might revive this thread a bit...

Is anyone else losing their hair?  Mine is coming out like crazy.  I feel like I'm in chemo or something.  I am (was?) trying to grow my hair really long again, but I am seriously considering going and getting it cut above my shoulders...at least the strands won't be as long!

Beyond that I am feeling mostly healed.  Rachel and I go walk a mile everyday.  Our nursing issues are almost all under control, so I am hoping to start doing some EC stuff this week.  She LOVES to nurse, and has mostly gotten over sleepy baby problems.

So far we have used the ring sling and the Moby wrap.

I've been losing some hair, too, and am also strongly considering a shorter cut. I look waaaay better with long hair, but it is just too much right now.

I kind of hate the Moby wrap so far--I feel like it's always either too tight or too loose, and I keep having to take him out and start over. I'm doing okay with the ring sling, but my favorite is the Ergo with the infant insert! Couldn't be any simpler! We've been taking a couple of short walks a day in the Ergo, and it's improved my mood tremendously.

[WifeofAnt]

My hair is kind of falling out but nothing drastic yet.  I do need a haircut though, haven't had one in years.

Hmm.. I need a little help with the Moby but I haven't had to take him out of it to redo it.  Do you wrap it and then put the baby in?  I've been half wrapping, putting the baby in (keeping a hand on for support) and then finishing wrapping around him.  The first two times were a little iffy but we got it pretty quickly this last time.

[ein328]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt 

Hmm.. I need a little help with the Moby but I haven't had to take him out of it to redo it.  Do you wrap it and then put the baby in?  I've been half wrapping, putting the baby in (keeping a hand on for support) and then finishing wrapping around him.  The first two times were a little iffy but we got it pretty quickly this last time.

It depends which wrap you're doing. For most, you wrap first, then put baby in. That's probably why you're not getting it tight enough. Remember that it stretches, so if you wrap it tightly, THEN put baby in, it will likely fit more securely.

FYI, there are a lot of good videos on youtube that demonstrate Moby wrapping. Here's one of my favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hems-UTph5o

[owlgirl]

Just chiming in that I LOVE MY MOBY. I was super scared of it at first and finally youtubed how to wrap all this fabric around me and Nadia just loves it!! I vacuumed, swept, cooked....she slept!! Heavenly device!!

[wholewheatchick]

Yes!  I put Rachel in this for our morning walk and can then usually get about 1/2 hour of chores done afterward.  Today I hung a load of laundry on the line with her in the moby.  Yesterday we walked home from the birth center with her in it, and I could use the food processor and make dinner. 
 

Originally Posted by owlgirl 

Just chiming in that I LOVE MY MOBY. I was super scared of it at first and finally youtubed how to wrap all this fabric around me and Nadia just loves it!! I vacuumed, swept, cooked....she slept!! Heavenly device!!

My in laws got here today.  It almost feels strange having help again, because my parents left a week ago.  Rachel and I are starting to develop a rhythm, and I feel kind of bad that this means I hold her 99% of the time.  They also don't recognize her "nursey face" too well but we'll work on that,