Postpartum Chat - Page 3

[ein328]

Originally Posted by wholewheatchick 

My in laws got here today.  It almost feels strange having help again, because my parents left a week ago.  Rachel and I are starting to develop a rhythm, and I feel kind of bad that this means I hold her 99% of the time.  They also don't recognize her "nursey face" too well but we'll work on that,

Don't feel bad! Lucy LIVED in the moby for the first few months. I think it irritated my in-laws, they thought I was going to "spoil" her. Whatever.

Totally understand the "nursey face" part, too. There were soooo many times Lucy would be hungry (to the point of crying), and my MIL would continue to try to soothe her, even after I said things like "I'm pretty sure she needs to nurse." She would just ignore me, like she thought she knew my baby better than me. It caused a lot of hurt and I shed some tears over it. Finally I got up the confidence to walk up to her, say "Lucy is hungry and needs to nurse," and literally take her. 

I hope your ILs are more communicative than mine, but if they're not, don't be afraid to be confident and assertive in voicing your feelings. It'll actually make things easier down the road. 

[owlgirl]

You hung clothes on the line?? Wow, what a picture that is, as it's been in the 20's. I have been reading Robin Lim's "After the Baby's BIrth" and she really emphasizes for us all to really be taking it easy. It has been good for me to read and share with my partner because as my bottom begins to feel better (2nd degree ouchy) I feel like I need to be doing more chores. Then I remember I only have 3 months untill returning to 12 hour night shifts, don't get me started on that one, and I think "screw chores, I need to be cuddling, napping, watching movies, breastfeeding and staying well nourished". I share this because I know I am not the only over achiever out there and I think especially in our western society we often don't get told we have permission to chill out. So.....to resting and letting others pick up the slack....to list making of 'things to do' and passing it to someone who wants to help!!

[Happy912]

Ok- desperately hoping Nolan stays asleep so I can get a good reply in here!

Sex drive- uhhh YES! So, I can still see my stitches- they are dissolvable. I am not in pain, but we can still see them....what's the sex protocol? We are both quite randy but I would seriously die if we somehow got pregnant again! Should we be using protection right away?? Is there any birth control that doesn't interfere with breastfeeding??

Nolan has been very inconsistent with sleeping he is almost 4 weeks now- he will sleep for 3 hours then 15 minutes then not at all then 2 hours (you get the point).
it is typically during the afternoon or early evening (thank God!! I'd be miserable if it were at night!). I haven't been as consistent as I'd like so I told myself that I am going to try to really focus, especially when feeding him. There are times when he just seems to be sucking so I will pull him off and wrap up the feeding...I was wondering if maybe that breast was "emptied" but whenever I test it and give it a squeeze, I can make drops of milk come out, so I figured that couldn't be the case and therefore he must be done eating if he isn't actually trying to get milk out any more. Not sure if that is bad logic or not.

I really struggle with how much "activity" time he wants/needs. It seems to be the hardest for me. I'm either trying to put him down and he appears wide awake or, even when I think I have caught him at his first yawns, he can get very cranky/fussy as if he got overstimulated and then is much more difficult to put down. It seems lose-lose... part of me wishes all he needed right now was to eat and sleep!

I don't feel like I am doing very much with him either. I feel like 80% of my time is spent in silence- either putting him to sleep or while feeding him. I read that talking to him while feeding can distract him so I haven't been and obviously when I am trying to get him to go to sleep I am trying not to excite him- do you talk/sing/do anything during feeding times or when you are rocking him to sleep?

I tried using our swing again today- no go. I really really wish he liked that thing!!! He doesn't like the swing, doesn't like being put it any of the carriers that I have to wear...

Also, do you guys multi-task at all when rocking him or when feeding him? I tried watching TV or reading a book and for whatever reason it seems like when I don't pay attention to him, he somehow gets worked up. I feel crazy thinking that, but I swear whenever I try to do something else at the same time as feeding/rocking, he will start to cry. I dunno.

Having a baby is a lot of work!! lol LOVE him to death, but man, where's the manual!?

[wholewheatchick]

NAK here but that is the only time I get to use the computer!  So yes: I multi task while nursing.  Watch a movie, use internet, eat, read a book, etc.  Rachel loves to nurse, though, and is only happy when cuddled up with me.  Well, she has had more quiet alert time, which I enjoyed for a bit then passed her off to my ILs so I could write thank you notes. 

I also don't try to lay her down to sleep.  I set her down when I have to, like to take a shower, but othre than that she is basically attached to me.  She tolerates the Moby wrap as long as she is asleep when I put her in it and we keep moving, like walking or doing some more "active" chores. 

She nurses to sleep.  I pretty much let her hang out on my boob for as long as she wants that I am still comfortable with.  That is partly due to my supply issues, though, so the more I keep her with me the better it is for both of us.

Sex sounds good, until I consider the physical logistics of it.  But we're only 3 weeks out from her birth, and things still don't feel put back together down there.  Plus that whole bit where Rachel is attached to my breast constantly makes it difficult to arrange.  We plan on using lactational ammenorrhea with fertility awareness, and will add in the diaphragm if I ever even remotely suspect that I might be fertile.  From what I have read, the copper IUD also does not affect milk supply because there are no hormones, but I am hesitant about IUDs and refuse to use one that only prevents implantation.  Just my opinion. 

[First Time Mama]

Wanting to join this chat now. Julian was two weeks on Saturday, and I had a postpartum with my midwife today. He has already gained a whole pound over his birth weight. Nursing is going great, he has been waking up every 3 hours or so at night to nurse. The only kind of hard part is that after nursing he is crying and fussing for a while until I bounce him and he has a couple burps or passes gas and then he settles down again. Digestive stuff going on, but I remember my older son was similar as a baby. I struggled so hard with nursing last time, I am so happy that it is so easy this time. Using the moby a lot with him. My husband just want back to school yesterday, so soon it will be me with both kids by myself and I am a bit nervous about that, but so far I really haven't been alone with both for more than a few hours. I am sure I will learn how to handle them both, I remember as a first time mom one little baby felt overwhelming at first. I can't feel my stiches anymore and I think my tears are all healed up. Still bleeding lightly, but besides some fatigue I pretty much feel back to my old self. This recovery after a vaginal birth is so much better than after my c section. So much easier. I have been having some emotional ups and downs, but I think within the realm of normal postpartum adjustment. Sex, honestly have not really thought about it much yet. I am a bit nervous. I feel healed up, but have never had the experience of postpartum sex after vaginally delivering, and so am not sure exactly what to expect. That, and logistics of how to find the time and privacy with a baby and a toddler.

[WifeofAnt]

I don't try to put James to sleep usually.  He sets the pace and I follow along.  He eats when he's hungry, plays when he's awake, and sleeps when he's tired.  Its probably not as easy with more than one LO but its been working great for us.  Right now he's in a light sleep in his bounce seat.  If he starts moving around I just put my foot on the side and get him moving a little.  Then I can surf the internet or play some computer games while he naps.

His feeding habits seem to have started a pattern (or maybe I just finally noticed it).  During the day its usually just on one side per feed.  He *has* to be burped afterward too.  After about 7 or 8 in the evening its one side, burp, offer first side, (burp if he took it), second side, burp.  I just absolutely have to make sure he is dry and pottied before any evening/night feeds or he'll go while he's eating and then get upset and won't sleep.

Sex... we've been using condoms.  I know about the whole LAM thing (unlikely to get pregnant in the first 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding before periods have resumed) but that's a bit too much faith for me.  Plus he's deploying again in less than a month.  While he's gone I can start charting again to see if I can recognize my pattern and get fitted for a diaphragm.  I don't want to use any method that isn't immediately reverse-able.  I don't like the idea of waiting months after discontinuing to have normal fertility again.  We just have to keep this up for a few years and depending on how things go we'll either stop after a second child or maybe have a third.

I'm still bleeding too although I'm pretty sure that has something with the fact that we shouldn't be having sex yet.

[northcountrymamma]

So I'm joining into this thread now!!! :joy

Just quickly as wonderful dp has dinner ready...I have never had a baby who spits up...what is an acceptable amount of spit up?  It seems like each time he nurses he pukes. Not really worried just curious as he is gaining, actually at 4 days old he's almost back to birth weight, he was 2 oz shy yesterday and he has been voiding regularily. 

Thanks for any thoughts. I'll get into this conversation more soon. 

[ein328]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt 

Sex... we've been using condoms.  I know about the whole LAM thing (unlikely to get pregnant in the first 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding before periods have resumed) but that's a bit too much faith for me.  Plus he's deploying again in less than a month.  While he's gone I can start charting again to see if I can recognize my pattern and get fitted for a diaphragm.  I don't want to use any method that isn't immediately reverse-able.  I don't like the idea of waiting months after discontinuing to have normal fertility again.  We just have to keep this up for a few years and depending on how things go we'll either stop after a second child or maybe have a third.

Yeah, the whole "6 months" thing...I got pregnant with June the week Lucy turned 6 months. First cycle postpartum, she was EBF. I thought I was an NFP pro and knew what I was doing, but my fertility signs were TOTALLY different during breastfeeding.  I'm going with some kind of barrier method this time- maybe give the 'ol diaphragm a second chance. 

[ein328]

Originally Posted by northcountrymamma 

So I'm joining into this thread now!!! :joy

Just quickly as wonderful dp has dinner ready...I have never had a baby who spits up...what is an acceptable amount of spit up?  It seems like each time he nurses he pukes. Not really worried just curious as he is gaining, actually at 4 days old he's almost back to birth weight, he was 2 oz shy yesterday and he has been voiding regularily. 

Thanks for any thoughts. I'll get into this conversation more soon. 

I wouldn't be worried about the spit up, as long as he is gaining and the spit up is just the sort of "overflowing" type and not projectile. Newborns' tummies are so small at this point that it's easy for them to become over-full. If it's the projectile, force-behind-it type, then I'd mention it to the doc. 

[wholewheatchick]

Have you heard of the FemCap?  My midwives recommend that instead of the diaphragm, so that's actually what we will use.
 

Originally Posted by ein328 

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt 

Sex... we've been using condoms.  I know about the whole LAM thing (unlikely to get pregnant in the first 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding before periods have resumed) but that's a bit too much faith for me.  Plus he's deploying again in less than a month.  While he's gone I can start charting again to see if I can recognize my pattern and get fitted for a diaphragm.  I don't want to use any method that isn't immediately reverse-able.  I don't like the idea of waiting months after discontinuing to have normal fertility again.  We just have to keep this up for a few years and depending on how things go we'll either stop after a second child or maybe have a third.

Yeah, the whole "6 months" thing...I got pregnant with June the week Lucy turned 6 months. First cycle postpartum, she was EBF. I thought I was an NFP pro and knew what I was doing, but my fertility signs were TOTALLY different during breastfeeding.  I'm going with some kind of barrier method this time- maybe give the 'ol diaphragm a second chance. 

[TyrantOfTheWeek]

We will probably end up using pregnancy as a method of birth control..LOL

Derek was 12 weeks old or so when I got pregnant with Daniel. My second pp cycle.

We are already back at it. We made it maybe 1.5 weeks. ( I pretty much was down to spotting and I didn't tear, the mood was right..so there ya go)

I have never gone the full 4-6 weeks. I'd probably die.

[MoonStarFalling]

I can't believe Roan is three weeks old already. He's up 1.5 pounds from his birth weight. Out of newborn sizes. I'm feel back to normal just not ready to do any heavy lifting. Most of my placenta capsules are gone. I think they did help to improve my mood. What's surprising is that I haven't been tired at all since the birth. I saw my naturopath this week and he checked everything out and I got a healthy report. I'm planning on LAM plus condoms as usual.

[ein328]

Oh, man- thanks for the head's up! I checked it out online and will definitely be asking about it. 
 

Originally Posted by wholewheatchick 

Have you heard of the FemCap?  My midwives recommend that instead of the diaphragm, so that's actually what we will use.

[ema-adama]

Originally Posted by owlgirl 

You hung clothes on the line?? Wow, what a picture that is, as it's been in the 20's. I have been reading Robin Lim's "After the Baby's BIrth" and she really emphasizes for us all to really be taking it easy. It has been good for me to read and share with my partner because as my bottom begins to feel better (2nd degree ouchy) I feel like I need to be doing more chores. Then I remember I only have 3 months untill returning to 12 hour night shifts, don't get me started on that one, and I think "screw chores, I need to be cuddling, napping, watching movies, breastfeeding and staying well nourished". I share this because I know I am not the only over achiever out there and I think especially in our western society we often don't get told we have permission to chill out. So.....to resting and letting others pick up the slack....to list making of 'things to do' and passing it to someone who wants to help!!

I learned my lesson with my first post partum. I felt I could do anything and was happy to 'prove' that natural childbirth is 'normal' and somehow that meant me being able to go out and about and do chores pretty much immediately. I got exhausted quickly and I think it made it harder for me to just settle into motherhood.

Tomorrow I am 3 weeks PP and I have cooked maybe 3 meals and had to sweep the floors a couple of times and do a bit of laundry. Most of the household chores have been done by DH, MIL, FIL and my godmother who came out from the UK to visit. It has been fantastic. I have been able to focus on breastfeeding and resting. I have been going out a bit, but not pushing myself AT ALL. I have taken my bleeding as a sign. If I over do it, the bleeding gets heavier and when I go back to resting, the bleeding lets up.

I have a friend who is married to a Korean woman, and when their children were born, she took 3 weeks to not leave the house and only immediate family were allowed to visit. The slew of visitors just were kept out and mum was encouraged to rest up for those 3 weeks. This idea really appealed to me.

I have yet to be in the mood or have the opportunity for sex. But we will use a condom. I really do not want to be pregnant any time soon again. I only got my period back when DS was 23 months - but I am not banking on that happening again. The prospect of being pregnant so soon again totally terrifies me.

[wholewheatchick]

I have to keep reminding myself that my absolute number one job right now is breastfeeding.  Followed by cooking and laundry.  I also told DH I would try to clean the sinks and toilets about every week or so, and sweep the floor when I could. 

I go on a walk with Rachel everyday except Tuesdays.  We've worked up to 2 miles now; my pelvic floor is no longer sore when we go that far.  I really want to go on a shorter walk after dinner with Rachel and DH but that is tough because she nurses pretty constantly from 5 pm till bedtime.

Oh, Rachel now weighs 7 lb 10 oz!  Her heaviest yet!  Finally hit birth weight of 7 lb 6 oz almost 3 weeks after her birth.  But my MIL assures me that DH was always in the bottom 10% for weight and 50% for everything else.

[WifeofAnt]

Originally Posted by wholewheatchick 

Have you heard of the FemCap?  My midwives recommend that instead of the diaphragm, so that's actually what we will use.
 

I haven't read specifically about the FemCap but I've heard cervical caps have a much lower effectiveness rate after you've had a baby.

From the FDA:

 

Based on a clinical effectiveness study of 355 women who used the FemCap™ for up to six months, on average 23 women out of 100 who use FemCap™ for one year can expect to become pregnant. For women who have had babies by vaginal delivery, and who use the large size FemCap, 29 of 100 can expect to become pregnant in a year’s use. For women who have never been pregnant or who have never delivered vaginally, and who use the small or medium sized FemCap, 14 out of 100 can expect to become pregnant in a year’s use.

[ein328]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt 

Originally Posted by wholewheatchick 

Have you heard of the FemCap?  My midwives recommend that instead of the diaphragm, so that's actually what we will use.
 

I haven't read specifically about the FemCap but I've heard cervical caps have a much lower effectiveness rate after you've had a baby.

From the FDA:

 

Based on a clinical effectiveness study of 355 women who used the FemCap™ for up to six months, on average 23 women out of 100 who use FemCap™ for one year can expect to become pregnant. For women who have had babies by vaginal delivery, and who use the large size FemCap, 29 of 100 can expect to become pregnant in a year’s use. For women who have never been pregnant or who have never delivered vaginally, and who use the small or medium sized FemCap, 14 out of 100 can expect to become pregnant in a year’s use.

Whoa....those are some crazy stats. We are planning on using a barrier method (FemCap, perhaps?) in conjunction with charting, though, so hopefully that will help. The 14% stat is the one I saw on the FemCap site- I didn't realize it referred to the smaller cervical cap.

I will freely admit, though, that we won't use anything until I get my period. I know there is a possibility of having an ovulatory cycle before then, but I'm comfortable waiting for it (until 6 months, anyway) with going without until then. So yeah, I guess we go without until my first period or 6 months, whichever comes first.

[WifeofAnt]

Yep.  The smaller cap and for women who have never had a vaginal birth.

[TyrantOfTheWeek]

I'd say that FemCap thing would be good as long as you use some sort of spermicide with it.

[ein328]

Originally Posted by TyrantOfTheWeek 

I'd say that FemCap thing would be good as long as you use some sort of spermicide with it.

Of course. Agreed.  

As far as I saw the directions specified how much and where to put the spermicide. You're also supposed to put in more after so many hours....