Limited Television

[VisionaryMom]

We have been experimenting with eliminating TV on certain days in our house. We've found, not unsurprisingly, a huge difference in the way that DS acts on days when he's been allowed even minimal amounts of TV. We have Netflix, so he watches commercial-free kids' shows, usually 25-45 minutes in duration. He is 5. DD, who's 3, does not get as mesmerized by the television, and I don't see a real difference from her.

I'd like to limit but not completely eliminate TV. I grew up with no TV most of the time. DH grew up with it in, I suppose, moderate doses, though I consider it pretty TV-heavy. DH still LOVES to watch television & movies, and I'd like them on occasion, which is why we don't want to eliminate altogether.

So...if you do limited TV, how do you handle it? I'm thinking of saying that they can watch 2 short shows on Friday evenings and maybe a family movie on Saturday or Sunday as permitted. I'm definitely seeing that TV during the week is a BAD idea for us.

Also, do you indicate in any way if it's a no-TV day? DS knows his days of the week, but I still thought of covering the TV with a nice cloth or something as a visual reminder.

[Llyra]

My kids get TV tickets, on Sunday after church. They can use those tickets whenever they like during the week, and when the tickets are gone, that's it with the TV for the week. DD1, who's in school, is not allowed to watch TV on weekdays, though-- she has to use her ticket either Friday afternoon/evening, or on the weekends. She doesn't get home until 4 most days, and she needs the time to play actively, or do quiet things, after such a long day.

I have three kids-- they're 6, 3 1/2, and 3 1/2.

I like the idea of covering it with a cloth-- that's a nice visual reminder, so they don't have to ask a thousand times whether it's a TV day.

[pianojazzgirl]

My ds sounds a lot like your ds.  A few months ago I realized things had gotten out of hand with the tv - the kids were watching more than I felt comfortable with, and ds (in particular) was having horrible melt-downs over tv.  Dh and I weren't seeing eye-to-eye about how much tv the kids should watch either.  So a few months ago dh went out of town for 2 wks and I decided to go cold-turkey no-screen-time.  The first few days were rough, but after that life just got waaay easier.  The kids discovered this new well of creativity.  They didn't even ask about the tv (which I covered with a cloth and wheeled into a different room. 

My plan was not to go permanently tv-free, but to start off that way (to kind of de-tox) and then to introduce limited screen time.  So that's where we are now.  We actually don't have any kind of system (certain days are tv day, or tv "tokens" to spend or anything like that).  We just occasionally turn on the tv.  So far we've done a handful of Friday night movie nights, and the kids watched a couple of periods of a hockey game with dh.  They've also watched a few kids shows at friends' houses.  So far that system (or lack of system!) is working well for us.  Tv has ceased to be something they expect and it's turned into a special treat.   I suspect that the couple of months of absolutely no tv probably helped get rid of the expectation of tv.

[Lisa1970]

I definitely would not cover the TV if you are not having troubles. You want your son to be able to look at a TV and not feel like he should be watching. So he can make good choices in the future.

I think you are doing great how you are doing now! I would not change a thing!

[Daffodil]

We don't have TV, but the kids watch videos sometimes.  I have to go out to evening meetings about 8 nights a month, and our general rule is that the kids watch videos only on those nights.  (We also let them watch videos when one kid is sick, and we very occasionally have a family video night when I'm home.)  That works well for us.

[bluebackpacks]

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom 

 I'm thinking of saying that they can watch 2 short shows on Friday evenings and maybe a family movie on Saturday or Sunday as permitted.

This sounds like a good plan.  As a side note, I love those uninterrupted afternoons of free-range play... the tinkering over new inventions and the off-the-cuff science experiments involving lots of water and random objects (you know... will this float?).

[JudiAU]

I watched a lot as a kid, was tv-free for ten years, and then watched a lot with DH. Dh watched little. DH loves tv and made a radical shift when he became a SAHD and was tv free around the kids. (willingly)  The kids (3.5, 16m) don't watch any time except for an hour of christmas stuff once a year that DH loves. When we do watch tv it won't be during the week at all and maybe something as a family on the weekend or an hour on Saturday.

Even more than "tv" I hate branding/characters/commercials/and crummy toys so if we don't overwhelmed in the side junk or related annoying behavior I'll be okay with more of it. Dh loves the way our son plays right now and he agrees that tv would just mess it up.

I never want it there as something we rely on or the kids expect.

[ollyoxenfree]

Rather than covering the t.v., can you move it somewhere a little inconvenient or out of the way? I've noticed that when the t.v. is front and centre in high traffic living space, everyone watches it more often, including me. When it's in a room that isn't used often, we tend to forget about it. In our last house, the t.v. was in a great room - one huge kitchen/dining room/family room combination that opened into the backyard. It seemed like the t.v. was on constantly. Now our t.v. is in the family room which is in a renovated basement.  Viewing isn't quite a special occasion event, but it happens much less often and tends to occur at night only after all the other daily action is over. 

[altoidmandy]

I just wanted to share a recent experience we had at our house.  We recently were given a flat screen TV that mounts on the wall.  It is mounted significantly higher than our old TV, which sat on a low console at just about toddler eye level (my son is two).  In the few days that we have had it, I have noticed a significant decrease in his requests for TV.  I am not advocating buying an expensive TV just to get your kids to watch less, but for us "out of sight out of mind" has worked.

[mommariffic]

We limit here : )

DD and I both enjoy Animal Planet (especially Dog 101) so each day she's allowed 1 hour of TV spread out throughout the day. During the summer/spring we rarely watch because we are outside in the garden, or at the park or in the woods. Winter months we tend to watch more because we are inside (DD hates going out in the cold..) I don't really worry about it as long as she's not begging, and we are balancing the day with learning, reading, and lots and lots of creative play!

[oaktreemama]

We limit as well. The only thing my son watches is football. We are football fanatics. And honestly he know we love the Brown's and Buckeye's, but doesn't really pay much attention. We also play outside on Sundays and often listen to the game on the radio. So, I feel pretty good about our TV habits-no cartoons, no Nick Jr, no Disney. I just hate that a lot of programs geared towards my son are brand name tie ins that encourage him to want stuff.

Oh-he does watch YouTube stuff about butterflies-his passion.

[peainthepod]

You might check out the TV-Free subforum here. A lot of the mamas aren't completely TV-free, but they strictly limit it. We don't have a TV but do let our toddler watch DVDs of his favorite shows from time to time (David Attenborough nature specials, Wallace and Gromit, The Snowman). The only thing I've found that works when his screen time is getting out of control is to go cold turkey. It's rough at first but works well to redirect his energy and attention.

[Stacey12]

Good call with covering it with a cloth.  Definitely have to monitor the time they spend watching TV, otherwise it could lead to ADD and many other problems coming up with this new world we live in.

[Flarmonster]

we limit videos to weekends. We tell DD that she can watch videos on "mommy, daddy,dahlia days" that seems to put it in language she can understand right now. Going cold turkey when she gets in a watching rut definitely works well. The holidays are rough, because there are more days when we are all home, but we tend to be more busy, so videos don't come up as much. BTW, we don't have a TV, never have-just watch things on the computer. So we don't cover it or anything, but I can see how that would be a good visual reminder for a little one!

[emmsmama]

When my kids were younger (under 3 or so) I found it very easy to limit tv for them.  I rarely turned the tv on unless they were in bed and they didn't bug for it during the day because they were used to it not being on.  Now that they are older (8 &11), we've had some battles, but I worked out a system a couple years ago that seems to work well.  They are allowed tv or computer/video game time from 7-9pm each night, unless we are out or have something else going on.  Some nights they can't wait for 7pm to be able to watch a show or play a computer game, other days they play right through their "tv time" and don't watch anything or go on the computer.

This works well because they no longer whine for tv throughout the day and they don't have the typical "mental slump" that kids often get when they watch tv during the day.  I found when they used to watch tv during the day it was like their imaginations were turned off afterwards, except on very rare occasions when whatever they watched sparked a new play idea.  Most of the time though they would be whining they were bored all afternoon if I let them watch tv in the morning.

There are some times when I will let them watch a Magic School Bus, Cyberchase, or other educational program during the day, but it's rare and they know not to bug me for tv because 7-9 is their time to watch tv if they want to.

ETA:  They have to have their daily chores done, rooms clean, pjs on, and teeth brushed before they are allowed their tv time at night so this also helps them to get their responsibilities taken care of because they know if they dawdle or whine it will just cut into their tv time.  It also works out nicely at 9pm because they are already ready for bed so we cuddle in my bed and read a couple chapters of a book together and then I tuck them into their beds for the night and have some time for myself with no bedtime battles.

[goldenwillow]

We have been TV/cable free for a good number of years here prior to DS.  I find that it just pollutes my head.  It is funny to me when family asks questions RE:  news, weather, etc. in our area and I have no idea what they are talking about..  news hype. 

DH just bought himself a flat TV to watch movies on and I was pretty sick about it but wanted to be able to watch a few movies or concerts on DVD here and there... double edged sword. 

DS does get mesmerized for sure when we watch something after a bit.  We are sure to just watch for his cues. 

We cover ours as well...  if not DS points to it which makes me just sick to my tummy. 

Edited by goldenwillow - 1/4/11 at 12:42pm

[AnaB]

My daughter is two years old and we have been TV free for about two months. I love it and would never go back! I was so thrilled with the results I wrote a whole article about it. To begin with, before she was born, I was very much against babies watching TV. When she was about 8 months we let her watch a couple of Russian cartoons from our own childhood, then it snowballed from there. Curious George, Thomas, Caillou, it seemed like there was no end to it. When she was 18 months she would ask for TV first thing in the morning and it just killed me.

So I decided to go cold turkey, covered the TV with a cloth (can't move it, it's a 42" plasma), and told her it is broken for now. She was absolutely fine and after 2 days of whining she forgot about it. She slept better, ate better, behaved better, started playing independently, etc... Now we usually have one night a week when we all sit down together as a family and watch a movie together. We all enjoy it and she looks forward to it. Occasionally she might watch something at relatives house, but never at home. It has made life so much easier, I enjoy being home with her a lot more now. We're cancelling cable as soon as our contract is up. :)

[aurora_skys]

Originally Posted by AnaB 

My daughter is two years old and we have been TV free for about two months. I love it and would never go back! I was so thrilled with the results I wrote a whole article about it. To begin with, before she was born, I was very much against babies watching TV. When she was about 8 months we let her watch a couple of Russian cartoons from our own childhood, then it snowballed from there. Curious George, Thomas, Caillou, it seemed like there was no end to it. When she was 18 months she would ask for TV first thing in the morning and it just killed me.

So I decided to go cold turkey, covered the TV with a cloth (can't move it, it's a 42" plasma), and told her it is broken for now. She was absolutely fine and after 2 days of whining she forgot about it. She slept better, ate better, behaved better, started playing independently, etc... Now we usually have one night a week when we all sit down together as a family and watch a movie together. We all enjoy it and she looks forward to it. Occasionally she might watch something at relatives house, but never at home. It has made life so much easier, I enjoy being home with her a lot more now. We're cancelling cable as soon as our contract is up. :)

Thank you for this, this is exactly what happened to my son of the same age. I was soo against tv and before I knew it it became a parenting crutch. He even would scream for Caillou in the mornings. I think just covering the damned thing up and saying its broken is a great solution (for starters I mean. I would like to watch nature shows with him as he gets older, maybe next year)

[zebaby]

We give our 4 yo DS "TV tokens" - 6 per day, each is worth 15 min of TV time. He can choose to use them or not. Once they're gone, no more TV for the day. Tokens are not carried over to the next day. Any unused tokens can be cashed in for 50 cents. He saves his money to buy a toy, book, or CD (he may not use them to buy DVD's, computer games or sweets) to promote more organic playtime vs. TV time. He has saved $72! It teaches him worth, saving money, and gives him the freedom to watch TV if he really wants it. Computer time is also counted as "TV time". Generally, he'll use all his tokens only about 2-3 days per week. The rest of the days he usually only uses 0-3 tokens per day. Allowing him to watch some TV seems to take the power struggle out of the picture. Works for us. 

(BTW, We totally control what he watches. Always commercial free. Very age appropriate shows/games. Often times heavily educational.)

[emmsmama]

I like the idea of tokens being traded for a small amount of money.  The system I have going right now works well, but I'll have to ponder that option.