or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › May 2011 › weekly chat: dec 12th - dec 18th
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

weekly chat: dec 12th - dec 18th - Page 3

post #41 of 86

I'm thinking of you too, MamaChef, and hope that you are able to get reassuring news soon!

post #42 of 86

Mamachef, a few friends just had breast cancer scares this year and it turned out they were regular cysts, so the doctors are just trying to be thorough I'm sure. My Mom just had full on breast cancer this last year and had to have a breast removed, but now she's totally cancer free and didn't have to do radiation therapy or anything. They're going to do a reconstruction for her this summer and she's fairly pleased with her treatment. There's a benefit to catching stuff early, so even if it turns out to be the worst case scenario (which is terrifying and I feel for you) there is much they can do.

 

Many hopes that it turns out to be nothing.

post #43 of 86
Haven’t been able to post in a while, but have kept up with reading.  With the discussion this week, I just have to chime in.
 
MamaChef: I am praying so hard for you that this turns out to be nothing. I am sending you a big hug.
 
Becca: I can so sympathize with having a mom that doesn’t support you.  My mom was not a big fan of my planned homebirth last time, and my having to be transferred to the hospital just confirmed her worst fears.  I knew that it would be an issue this time, so I just didn’t tell her.  I refer to my midwife as my doctor (which she is; she is a naturopath) and have left everything else out of the conversation.  Fortunately for me, my mom is self-absorbed enough that it hasn’t even occurred to her that I’m not sharing much beyond “everything is fine”.  I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, but it may be time to take her out of the conversation, for your own benefit.  A gentle “Thank you for your concern. I am aware of your opinion and while I love you and value your input, I have made up my mind and don’t want to discuss it anymore”  might be the best way to go. As for her being there, that can be very hard. Was she at the other births? You could tell her that you want it to be just you and your dh this time. If that doesn’t work, maybe you could “forget” to call her? “Gee, mom, everything was happening so fast!” Whatever you decide, I’m sending you a big hug as well. Oh, and don’t listen to all that nonsense about the pain of natural childbirth – I’ve done it both ways and much MUCH prefer vaginal birth. Recovering from a natural birth is so much easier, even if you do end up with a couple stitches (done that as well).
 
AFM: Had an eventful week; we had a red squirrel in the house last Monday, which my cats were chasing all over my bedroom at 1am.  Needless to say, I got the heck out of there and spent the rest of the night on the couch.  I found its body in the bathroom on Sunday.  Apparently the cats couldn’t manage to kill it, but they did wound it enough that it found a nice quite hidey-hole to curl up and die in. Problem is, it chose my diaper drawer.  Had to pull out and wash EVERYTHING in that drawer.  Ugh. So gross. Fortunately my dh was home, so I made him take the nasty thing outside and empty the drawer into the washing machine. 
 
I’m feeling the baby move more and more; lots of movement today actually.  I have my 20 week u/s on Friday; I’m so excited to find out the sex!  After three girls, we are hoping for a boy, though we’ll be happy with whatever we get of course.  And we’ve finally decided on names: Joshua Lawrence for a boy, and Megan Faith for a girl. I am hoping to be able to keep it a secret until Christmas Eve and tell all my family in person, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull it off.
 
post #44 of 86

Wow haven't been in a bit.

MamaChef

ReelGeek (congrats on the pillow and I hear you loud and clear on the work stress!!!)

Becca Howell

hug2.gif

post #45 of 86

Problems ignoring mom:

 

1. We live in the same city.

2. We attend the same church.

3. We talk all the time (she's typically ok with every other issue except for my "crunchy" side. Childbirth, extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vaccinations, circumcision, etc.)

4. My dad is supposed to watch my kids during labor, so there goes not telling her till the baby's here.

 

Like I said, we're going to address everything after the holidays. I just can't handle the stress right now!

post #46 of 86

mamachef - you are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

becca - I totally understand waiting to process everything after the holidays.  Just know that we are here for you :)  I also made the tough choice of telling my mom she wasn't going to be there after & continuing to deal with a lot of her negativity.  So know that others have been there and have made it through :)  

post #47 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skrimpy View Post

 So know that others have been there and have made it through :)  

 

hug2.gif Thanks!

post #48 of 86

So much for feeling better.  Within hours of typing it yesterday, I came down with a stomach virus and horrible, untreatable heartburn to boot.  My first day back to work (following vacation) is tomorrow and I just can't miss it, but also can't imagine what I'm going to do if I still feel this ill.  :-(

post #49 of 86

Aw, that sucks. Hope it is short lived.

 

I am cold and miserable but the pregnancy itself is pretty uneventful which I will gladly take!  I am totally tired all the time though and I can't find my hemoglobometer so I will have to have my doc do it on Friday when I go in for my appointment.

post #50 of 86

MamaChef- you are in my thoughts and prayers.

post #51 of 86

Wow, I haven't been on at all this week! Mamachef, you're in my prayers. I'm sure it's nothing. I have had breast cancer scares before too, but turns out mine were just fibrocystic. I'm surprised they are wanting to do a biopsy while you are pregnant. Don't breasts change so much during pregnancy? Seems like finding a lump would be pretty typical during pregnancy. I had a few pop up during my last pregnancy and my midwife never even wanted to do a sonogram or anything on them. She said it was probably due to being pregnant. Anyway, I hope it's nothing!

 

Been dealing with a sick toddler all week. It took 2 hours to get him to sleep last night and was up all night. He's congested so he's having a hard time breathing out of his nose. I've done saline, bulb syringe, trying to get him to blow his nose, elevating him on a pillow, Vicks vapor rub on his feet. Tonight I finally had to go put him in his bed and walk out of the room, and keep putting him back in his bed until he went to sleep. He kept kicking my face and trying to get out of bed and throwing stuff at me.  I hated doing it, but he was out in 20 minutes. Up until this point I'd been sitting in his room by his bed until he was asleep. I just couldn't take it tonight :( I think at this point though I'm going to try and keep up with it, because I know when the next baby arrives, I'm not going to have the luxury of sitting by his bedside for 30+ minutes while he drifts to sleep, as much as I'd like to. DH is gone so much and bedtime is probably going to be mainly on me. I figure if I can get him to go to sleep on his own now, it will be easier later on. We had to miss our playgroup Christmas party today but I went ahead and dropped off the secret Santa gift and E got his as well. Plus we're going to a birthday party on Friday, so I needed him to be well for that. I hope he's better by then. Next week is going to be even crazier. I'm planning on singing carols at an assisted living home with my church and then we have a Christmas eve service that I'm singing in, so I have to prepare songs for that and practice. It's going to be busy! Plus I have to still finish Christmas shopping and wrap the rest of the presents. DH didn't get home from work until 12 last night and probably want get home until 1am tonight...And yes, his days start at 7:00 am. I don't know how he does it. 

post #52 of 86

yes i've also had a biopsy before. it hurt like hell but man oh man was i ever glad to get it over with and get the clear results back! still praying it all goes well.

 

ugh. finally finished my essays. they both sucked. oh well.

one project two exams three photoshoots. blargh.

 

ps: what did ethan get for his present!?

post #53 of 86


He got a Megablocks plastic boat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ryleeee View Post

yes i've also had a biopsy before. it hurt like hell but man oh man was i ever glad to get it over with and get the clear results back! still praying it all goes well.

 

ugh. finally finished my essays. they both sucked. oh well.

one project two exams three photoshoots. blargh.

 

ps: what did ethan get for his present!?

post #54 of 86


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by becca_howell View Post

Problems ignoring mom:

 

1. We live in the same city.

2. We attend the same church.

3. We talk all the time (she's typically ok with every other issue except for my "crunchy" side. Childbirth, extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vaccinations, circumcision, etc.)

4. My dad is supposed to watch my kids during labor, so there goes not telling her till the baby's here.

 

Like I said, we're going to address everything after the holidays. I just can't handle the stress right now!

 

Well, darn.  Best wishes for your "big talk"!  hug2.gif
 

post #55 of 86

luxlove.gif  Thank you guys for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.  I really appreciate it. 

 

God gave me a verse earlier and it helped me feel alot better.

 

“Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!” Daniel 10:19

 

So Im doing okay today.   Whatever you do, if this ever happens to you.. do NOT read the breast cancer support boards.  Im a huge information gatherer, but in this instance, I wish I could have restrained myself.  Honestly, I wouldnt have let my midwife talk me into a US if I had this to do all over again.  I would have kept doing exams and went in if I felt an increase in size.  This is really shaking my relationship with my midwife.  I know that BC hits close to home for her as she had a family member pass from it and it isnt her area of expertise.. I think being an ND adds a level of complexity to it too.. but this is giving me flashbacks of biophysical profiles at 40w with dd and unnessecary stress.  I know this midwife isnt super medical.  Ive heard story after story of VBA2C, VBAC3C.. she has never transferred anyone urgently in 7 years of practicing solo.  I know that this is out of her scope of practice and that is why she made the rec, but Im really trying to get my body to understand this is a new pregnancy, different stuff..

 

That being said, the mass wasnt palpable in July.  It is therefore fast growing and because when you are pregnant your hormones are so high, they can take cancer and really progress it.  I read the most horrible story about a woman chose to terminate her pregnancy because the cancer had started growing so fast starting at 9 weeks...  I dont think she realized that the place I was doing the US at has the policy it does on biopsy.

 

I just talked to the radiologist.  She said that it has no worrisome characteristics and she feels 95% sure it is nothing.  The standard of care is that they biopsy all solid masses.  That made me feel alot better.  I hate the idea of a biopsy.  I hate the idea of leaving my children and husband more.  I am having a hard time deciding if I should let them put the titanium marker/clip in.  Evidently in pretty much all biopsies for the last decade atleast they have been putting a little piece of metal in to mark the site so that in the future they can tell easily that a spot had already been biopsied.

 

1.  I dont dig the idea of having metal hanging out in my body at all.

2.  My mom has 8 sisters.. my mom and 6 of them have severe metal allergies.  I have one aunt that had a pin put in for a break that she had to get removed because she was having an autoimmune reaction.  She has since developed lupus and I guess part of her wonders if it was the pin.  Evidently 4% of the population is allergic to titanium... 

 

If it was as easy to get the thing out as it is to put it in, Id just do it.  But to get it out is GA surgery and possible duct damage.  Dunno how to proceed.

 

Pros of the clip

1.  If it is a malignancy they will know where to it is exactly (this is confusing for me because they keep saying this, but the mass is palpable, so I dont understand how they could miss it)

2.  In the future screenings they will know that area has already been biopsied.

 

Cons

1.  Possible metal allergy developing

2.  Weirded out by the clip

3.  Surgery to remove could damage ducts.

 

 

 

Thank you all so much for being there for me and listening.

 

 

 

If I dont get the clip, the worst risk is having to do a biopsy again in the future.

What would you ladies do?

post #56 of 86

I think if I had a family hx of metal allergy like yours, I don't know if I could have a piece of metal in me, either. I am a worrywart, and even if it came to nothing, I think it would be a princess and the pea situation; I just wouldn't be able to stand the thought of it in my body. But truly, I am one of those who just worries almost uncontrollably.  Couldn't you request a CD copy of the xray series to keep with you in case you are treated elsewhere? I know that masses move, but it might help in identification of the mass that has already been biopsied, instead of the marker.

 

Will you get the biopsy? It must be a relief, at least, to be able to speak with the radiologist yourself and hear that it looks benign. For me, as a worrywart, I would want the biopsy just so I could put it all out of my mind.

 

I wish you all the best. You seem like a very giving person and I am glad you are getting support back from this board.

 

post #57 of 86

I ALWAYS get copies of my medical records and keep a scanned digital backup.  There was no xray because of the pregnancy, just the US, but Id just think that I could have that report.  The example the radiologist gave me was that they patients that come in that had biopsies 10-20 years ago and they had no markers and had to get rebiopsied.  I feel like that in this day in age of digital records that isnt as big of an issue, especially if I keep my records.  If it wasnt an actual mass, but something like a calcification, or adenosis or something Id understand the marker more because there is no mass.  But yeah.. 

 

I am going to get the biopsy.  Once you open the can of worms it is impossible for me personally not to worry so it just feels like it's best to get the all clear.

 

Thanks geekgolightly :)  Im so glad to be a part of this group. 

post #58 of 86

It's a BOY! Lord willing, another intact little boy will enter this world late May!

 

He's measuring 9 days behind, but the u/s tech didn't want to change my due date. I may request my midwife do though. Nine days can make the difference between a VBA2C and "forced" c-section.

post #59 of 86

Last night was my first 'centering' appointment. I go to St. Luke's hospital in San Francisco, and they have the option to do your prenatal care with a team of other women who are all due in the same month as you. For the first appointment you weren't allowed to bring your partner, but after this one, you can bring them for the duration. It's lead by a midwife with a nurse attendant.

 

It was super great! There were about 12 women in the first class, and there are two more joining in next month. You weigh yourself, do your own blood pressure and then the midwife does a doppler so you can listen to the heart beat. Then as a group, you go through your medical file, they explain all the numbers in your test results (if you opted in for them) and you have a group sharing lesson about various stages of pregnancy. This class we did a symptom version of musical chairs where you had to say a symptom you've had, all the women who also have that have to get up and find another chair. There is always one person left standing who has to tell their symptom story and then list another symptom. The midwife gets everyone to talk about how they deal with their issues and then offers more suggestions. It's a two hour session and I loved it.

 

A lot of the women who were there were first time Moms who appeared to be around the same age as me (late 20's to late 30's) and there were some veteran Moms who gave really good advice. If you have the option to do this sort of thing where you live, I highly recommend it.

 

One of the things that I learned from the class, is that it's totally okay to sleep on your back so long as it's comfortable. You will notice the lack of blood long before the baby does and you'll naturally shift to your side while sleeping. The midwife likened it to having your arm fall asleep. I had a really, really good sleep last night. :)

post #60 of 86

mamachef - i'm so sorry you're going though all this!  with you're family hx, i would probably choose not to do the clip.  it's really good news that the radiologist thinks it's nothing... with malpractice and all, most doctors wouldn't say something like that if it truly wasn't the most likely case.  i would just get the biopsy for peace of mind and skip the clip.  

 

becca - yay for little boys!  how exciting!  and that really sucks about your mom.  the big reason i haven't even looked into homebirth is that my mom would freak!  and even though i KNOW she is wrong on many topics, she really has a way of making me doubt myself or just fear that something bad will happen.   so i just choose not to discuss sensitive topics with her and if i would change my mind about the homebirth, i probably wouldn't tell her until much later if at all.   i hope that she'll come to terms with your decisions soon!

 

realgeek - sounds like a really great group you found!  and i never slept on my back until i was pregnant with dd... i would just wake up that way.  i do it all the time now :)  i never thought it was a big deal until 3rd trimester anyway.  i'm glad you're sleeping better now!

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: May 2011
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › May 2011 › weekly chat: dec 12th - dec 18th