Bringing 18 M.O. back to bed... are we losing ground?

[k8lasko]

My little guy has been in his own crib in his own room since 6mo or so because he didn't sleep well in the same room as us (with Daddy, really).  He is a very light sleeper and has never been a great sleeper since birth, but we were making slow progress in the direction of sleeping through the night.  We night-weened a few months ago and he would only get Daddy when he woke in the night (once or twice) and he'd always go back down without too much fuss.  Suddenly, we can't get him down in his crib because we cannot sneak out of the room without waking him.  It's like he's on high alert for the floor creaking.  Seems like he has a lot going on: separation anxiety, mild cold, teeth, plus lots of new language development.  I know that I don't want to let him scream himself down in his crib.  So, I've been kicking DH out of bed and taking DS in.  But he ends up nursing several times a night when he's in bed with me.  This morning, DH said "it feels like we're losing ground".  I agree.  Do we give in to what the babe seems to need?  Will he go back to his old routines when he gets through whatever it is he's going through?

[Asiago]

I feel that baby's needs come first. Babies are dependant upon adults for comfort and security just as much as for nourishment and warmth. These needs are just as strong as ever. Instinct for survival doesn't go away even though we live in more civilized times. I strongly feel that by giving him what he needs now, he will not constantly be longing for it in the future. Personally I wouldn't view it as losing ground but giving him a firm foundation and security when he seems to need it most. Seems like you are already listening to your instincts by being in tune with his needs since he is going through so much lately.

[Unlikely Mama]

My take is a bit different, though admittedly, my DD is only 9mo.   I feel as though you can still provide security and comfort by attending to him while he still sleeps in his crib.  Can dad still go to him like he did when you originally night-weaned?  I think that if you do that consistently, DS will get both messages: people who love and care for him are still available and he is perfectly secure in his crib.  If you night-weaned him before, you were obviously secure that DS doesn't need to eat in the MOTN. I believe that fathers are just as capable of providing love and security.  My own experience is that I'm a far more capable parent when I have some rest myself, and you might be different, but I don't sleep when my DD is nursing in the MOTN.  GL!

[Xenopus]

Just my nostalgic $0.02.....

Our DS is back in the bed with us.  He was a pretty independent sleeper in his own bed from ~12 mos to about 24 mos, then all of a sudden he found a lot of things to be afraid of.  Thunder, fireworks, lightning, car washes, the heat lamp in the bathroom, the vacuum... etc etc ad nauseum.  Rather than listen to him cry, we brought him back to bed.  at 30 months he still sleeps with Mom and Dad.  This has resulted in some very fun and interesting night-time conversation, and lots of snuggles, and a certain amount of lost sleep for mom and dad, but not much.At some point he will decide he wants to sleep by himself again.  I am used to him now and I will miss the snuggly bundle when he decides he's a big kid.So, I don't know about "losing ground."  I hope it does not annoy the OP when I simply advise to "roll with it" and give the child what they seem to need.  Soon enough, they sleep on their own, and we will miss these days.

[SeattleRain]

Originally Posted by k8lasko 

My little guy has been in his own crib in his own room since 6mo or so because he didn't sleep well in the same room as us (with Daddy, really).  He is a very light sleeper and has never been a great sleeper since birth, but we were making slow progress in the direction of sleeping through the night.  We night-weened a few months ago and he would only get Daddy when he woke in the night (once or twice) and he'd always go back down without too much fuss.  Suddenly, we can't get him down in his crib because we cannot sneak out of the room without waking him.  It's like he's on high alert for the floor creaking.  Seems like he has a lot going on: separation anxiety, mild cold, teeth, plus lots of new language development.  I know that I don't want to let him scream himself down in his crib.  So, I've been kicking DH out of bed and taking DS in.  But he ends up nursing several times a night when he's in bed with me.  This morning, DH said "it feels like we're losing ground".  I agree.  Do we give in to what the babe seems to need?  Will he go back to his old routines when he gets through whatever it is he's going through?

Could you have him sleep next to dad and not next to you so you're not as easily accessable for nursing? So the arrangement would be Baby-Dad-Mom. Would this work?

[rubidoux]

I wouldn't see it as losing ground but as a reason for celebration.  :)  I really do love having our children in our bed.  OTOH, I can't see it being a great thing if your dh has to leave the bed for it.  Is it a space issue?  Should you get a bigger bed?