Why is it so terrible to wean with lemon juice?

[flower16]

I have repeatedly tried gentle weaning with my 2 year old, but she cries all the time when she can't breastfeed all the time. I simply don't think she understands why she can have it sometimes and not others and eventually after days of crying after I try to cut out one feeding I give in. I have heard do many stories of women who use lemon juice on their breasts and have tear free weaning, is this a bad thing to do?

[D_McG]

I think because it makes something that was once comforting kind of scary or uncomfortable.  I don't feel particularly strongly though, to be honest.

What are you doing so far?  Are you on a set schedule already?  That's what worked for us.  We had a set (absolutely non negotiable) schedule during weaning.  It kept things nice and predictable.  No, we can't nurse now but we'll nurse at naptime.  And I stuck to it 100% no matter how they reacted.  Lots of snuggles and major distraction/treats.  The first 'no' was the hardest but we got over it and the rest of them were much easier.  

Stay calm and confident.  That was the key.  I had a lot of trouble weaning when I first tried because I felt guilty and wishy washy.  He needed instead to know that I was in control and I knew what I was doing was the right thing!

[sparklefairy]

My issue with things like this is that as a child, I could often tell when my mother was being dishonest and it was very confusing. I never knew when to trust her and it was hard on our relationship.

I remember her weaning my brother this way and I was positive that he knew she was lying. In their case, I'm sure she could have told him, "we're not nursing anymore because we're done" and he would have taken it matter-of-factly or at lease with minimal tears.

[la mamita]

I simply don't think she understands why she can have it sometimes and not others and eventually after days of crying after I try to cut out one feeding I give in.

so, you were trying to wean by cutting down individual feedings at a time? if the goal is complete weaning, that seems confusing for a child. if she's verbal, start talking about how your chest needs to rest, it is so tired from making milk for so long, she's 2 years old now and that means you have been making milk for two years. i agree that lemon juice could be upsetting (and honestly, what if it doesn't work? my kid loves lime and lemon juice and other sharp flavors like raw onions...i would have had to use something really strong like spicy hot sauce to actually wean that way and i think that would be more traumatic than just saying 'ok, nursies are all grown up now, let's get you a cup and i will hold you')

[TiredX2]

Can I ask how old your DD is (2 is a wide range), but I guess more importantly how verbal?  Does she have siblings?  What is your schedule like?  What have your plans been so far (are you targeting a specific nursing, when does she normally nurse, how does she react to not being allowed to nurse, do you have a weaning timeline, etc...)?

[flower16]

Thanks for all the responses! My daughter actually just turned 2 this November, but she has always been an around the clock, LOVES nursing a million times a day baby, along the same note very spirited, always needed to be held, bounced, rocked, etc... Sleeps through the night now though! she really didn't eat food until she was 18 months and I think the extent to which she has depended on my milk for two years has made me more than ready to stop. I also feel that it causes her so much distress, she practically hyperventilates when I say no, that it is all or nothing with her. She still was nursing 5 times/ day until this weekend when I tried to go cold turkey, but that went very poorly and I couldn't stand to see her that upset. I did cut her back to only 1 in morning and 1 at night but she cries hysterically before and after nap and when I get home from work, which in the past I eventually cave when I try this. There is no "just cddling" with her it is boobies or meltdown. The all day battle is why I was toying with the lemon juice thing, even though I know that honesty is the best policy, it just kills me to see her cry

[flower16]

Also I liked the advice "stay calm and confident" and stick to your schedule 100% of the time, although she still completely melts down when it's not time and she wants milk I am hoping if I stick with the schedule this will stop eventually

[sapphire_chan]

Any chance you could do some sort of connecting thing that doesn't have her positioned like she would be for nursing?

Like before nap, have her sitting on your lap facing out to read a story, after nap give her a piggy back ride? Something distracting and her face isn't near your breasts.

And have you tried not talking about nursing? Instead of "no nursing" saying something else for her to do?  "can you find your teddy?"

Since you're weaning early (which I can understand given how long you've been nursing all.day.long), she'll definitely have a sucking reflex still. So a dummy nipple would be helpful, a pacifier's the obvious choice, but you might find that something else works for her.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by flower16 

Also I liked the advice "stay calm and confident" and stick to your schedule 100% of the time, although she still completely melts down when it's not time and she wants milk I am hoping if I stick with the schedule this will stop eventually

It will.  And unfortunately when you cave you're reinforcing for her that it IS the end of the world when you say no.  She panics, you panic and you nurse her anyway.  That says to her that her panic was justified and reinforces the behavior.  With my kids anyway it worked much better to consider myself as the leader.  Leading them to where they needed to be. 

[flower16]

Just wanted to post an update, I have weaned my daughter down to twice a day, with sticking to a strict schedule; 2 feedings a day; am and night night time, it was hard for a couple days but now she doesn't even cry when I say no during the day. And the great part is I feel like with just two feedings and none of the all day begging and whining, I might have it in me to nurse a bit longer! I think the morning / night schedule was much easier for her to understand than when she was getting midday feedings. Thanks for all the great advice!