The Santa Debate

[mercheval]

My family is not religious, and I hate the commercial aspect of Christmas. I would not celebrate Christmas at all if it were up to me, but I don't want to take that away from my son. I've always liked the whole Santa Claus thing, but I live with my mom who I live with doesn't want to do it with here two sons, ages 2 and 5. I want to Christmas to have some form of magic and tradition to it. My boy is only 2 months old this year, so it's not a real issue yet, but I do I get her to respect my wishes as far as Christmas goes?

[KristyDi]

Yes, but we don't plan to have DD believe Santa is a real person.  We'll treat him like any other fictional character.  We don't like the lying aspect of the whole Santa thing.  To preserve some of the fun of the Santa traditions of our childhood we plan to play Santa and include DD in the game.  Maybe let her fill DH's stocking with me and my stocking with DH.  Then we can fill hers and still have her wake up to fun surprises Christmas morning.

[meemee]

mama i hope your mom CAN respect your wishes but really i cant see how she can do that. with two contrasting ideas i have no clue how to find the happy medium.

i am a single mom. my ex loooooved santa as a kid and he loooves sharing that aspect with dd. so every xmas eve dd spends with her dad and he brings alive the magic of santa for her. it has nothing to do with religion. 

dd loves imaginary things and magic. at 2 she refused to believe in santa as this guy in the sky because then why do we have toy drives (saw the box at the sandwich shop). but she kinda accepted the magic of it because of her dad. and he made all this cute touches that made her doubt if she was right or not. so i will say for my dd - santa real or not does not really matter to her.

i dont do anything with xmas. i dont buy presents either. 

however we do have our own traditions. and dd sees nothing wrong with not having santa in our life. really christmas day is a day for us to rest. its pretty blah. for dd and i its all teh festivities before that matter. all teh free events that we go to, volunteer, put up xmas trees and help friends in baking their xmas treats. i pick up dd after brunch with her dad adn then we do our own thing. have a pumpkin late and walk the empty streets, or go for a hike, or once in a while go see a movie. sometimes friends come over and we just hang and relax and enjoy the grey weather outside.  

honestly i dont understand this 'thing' about santa claus. dd and i dont have special moments/traditions only during xmas. we have built around certain traditions thru out the year that make us have special moments and traditions at least a few times a year. santa and presents dont have to be present in the magic. 

[CarrieMF]

The first parts are based on you living in your mom's house.

Does she do stockings?  If so then there's Santa there from you.  She may tell her kids otherwise but you can do it "from Santa" for your child.

For presents since your child is only 2 months old I'd have everything from you.  Your child isn't going to know anything & will probably be sleeping most of this time anyhow. 

Now next year & beyond when your child is older if you are still living there it will be trickier but this year it won't be. 

You can still do Santa pictures & such this year just don't involve your mom.  Next year you could do the whole leave cookies/milk/reindeer food out, watch Santa on Norad & such but it will be easier to do if you are not living there.   If you are on your own your mother no longer has any say in what happens.

now if your mom is living in YOUR house then this year you can do Santa all you want & it is up to her to do otherwise with her kids.

[UnschoolnMa]

We presented Santa as what it actually is: a very old story/tale that has some truth in it which has morphed over the years and from place to place. The stories and history were told and read and enjoyed, but Santa Claus was never presented as a "real man" that made gifts today and would deliver them to our home. I wasn't comfortable with that presentation.