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Am upset and need to vent!!! long...

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

OK, so I went for my first Drs appointment today. I should let it be known first of all that I'm living in Norway and the healthcare system is VERY different to the one in the US. My other 3 kids were born in the US all into the hands of midwives, all water births, the first in a birth center and the last two in our home. They were also all pretty much *overdue* at 42 5/7, 42 2/7 and 41 5/7.


So, I go today for my first meeting with my Doc (family doc who I see all the way through pregnany unless I become high risk. I can also go see a midwife but not until 24weeks and then I'm supposed to see her and the doc every other time until baby comes). Neither of these people will be who I see at the hospital - that will just be whoever is on staff there. STUPID system!! SO we get to talking about the due date. I explain that my LMP is Oct 14 which gives me a EDD of July 21 but I'm fairly certain I got preggo Nov 1 which would make EDD July 24/25. I explain that I've had very irregular periods over the last two years and due to my history of *late* babies, I'd really like an early ultrasound to get the best dating as possible (I'm 8 weeks now) to help me stay within *normal* limits as long as possible. I explain that I'm considering a home birth here and if not that then I definitly want to be at *The Stork* which is the low risk, more naturally minded labour and delivery unit at the only hospital in town.  I know that in order to do this I must be in labour before 41 5/7 weeks.  (I know there is a chance I can't do either of these but I'd like the best possible chance at making either one of these options happen.) He says NO!!! He says there is a reason *they* have decided that U/Ss are done at 18weeks and they are very good at dating then etc. etc. I tell him that I *know* the earlier you get an U/S for dating purposes the more accurate it is and he just says no that's not true. I *know* he's wrong!!!!!! and it's SOOOOO infuriating!!!!!!!!


He continues to *appease* me by telling me that here in Norway they set the EDD at 40 2/7 so my EDD by LMP is 24/7 anyway, according to his wheel, so I should just relax. But what he's not getting is that still doesn't change the date I become 41 5/7.  It doesn't really help me at all!!. so anyway, we carry on with the meeting. I figure I'll just go to the private clinic at get an U/S so at least I know what the best possible documented date is. I'm just not sure if anyone will actually use this information when it comes time that I'm approaching the magical *overdue* cut off.  I ask him a little more about what happens if (or very likely, when) I go past 41 5/7 by his calculations.... he says I'd then be transferred to a specialist at the hospital and would most likely be induced at that time.... POP! There go all my hopes for a birth in my home or birth center type unit...induced in the regular L&D with the summer staff, no less, at a teaching hospital!!! Argh! I'm so upset!!! There is not any other option except to walk this road and end up fighting at the end with every one about trying to have my labour start on it's own well past the deadline of what's used here. I don't know how hard it will be to push them into being more patient if all is well with baby. I feel like my hands are so tied!


Part of me might consider a UC but due to considerable bleeding last time and bad tears everytime I'm not sure how comfortable I am with it and am fairly certain DH would be too stressed about about it to be a great experience.


So..... My plan is to go get the U/S at the private clinic and find as much documentation I can find on early U/S being more accurate for dating to give to him (anyone have any links on that?). I don't think changing Drs is really going to help, it's mostly the system getting in the way.  And in the end it'll be whoever I get at the hospital that I'll need to deal with when the decisions come - I think I just need to take that as it comes. If anyone has any info on postdates or early U/S, I'd be very thankful for it. Also anything I can do later on that can REALLY help get labour on it's way.  I'm a full believer in letting nature take it's course but if my options are so restricted in the end I think I'm willing to give nature a shove (without breaking water or otherwise medically inducing).


Any perspectives on these issues are welcomed. Maybe I just need to look at the situation differently??? I don't know...I'm just sad and frustrated right now....

post #2 of 8

hug.gif It's going to be OK!  Sorry you have to go through all this stress!


Just think of it this way ... you don't HAVE to go in to be induced ... as you said, the doc you see isn't going to be the doc who delivers your baby ... so even if the doc fires you, the hospital isn't going to turn you away if you come in laboring!


I would still switch docs though.  It's impossible to change their minds... so why try? Get the early ultrasound if that will make you feel better! 


I'm sure you can find a way to work around the system!

post #3 of 8

If you know that's how the system works, then I would play to the system. If you think you ovulated on Nov. 1, then use that as CD 15 and count backward to get your "LMP". Tell the dr that you made a mistake when you told him your LMP and change it to the new LMP.

post #4 of 8
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

If you know that's how the system works, then I would play to the system. If you think you ovulated on Nov. 1, then use that as CD 15 and count backward to get your "LMP". Tell the dr that you made a mistake when you told him your LMP and change it to the new LMP.


post #5 of 8

Yeah I would say the same thing. Lie about your LMP and make it whatever you want it to be. I would change mine by up to 2 weeks if I had to...

post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thanks ladies for the replies... AnnieA, I am SO kicking myself for not doing that in the first place. What a lot of hassle that would maybe have saved!!! I'm fairly certain he'd know what I was up to if I went back now with a different LMP given that we talked about it so much today. I've had some time to cool down and I guess I'll figure it out as I go. It occurred to me that maybe I should just come back to the States a while before the due date and birth with my midwife at my mums house! winky.gif Anyone, know how late you can fly internationally?


I guess I'm just frustrated that in my other pregnancies I've had care providers that have respected my concerns and done their best to work with me on things. I always thought that it would be no problem here as midwife care is the standard in the hospitals but once I got here I found out it's nothing like 'midwife care' I know from the US. 

post #7 of 8

I would just play dumb...Oh sorry Mr. Doctor! I looked at the wrong date on my calendar before I came in last time so all the talk about the due date is silly now! Sorry about all the hassle! My LMP was "blah blah".


Off topic but I lived in Norway for six months back in the late 90s. Their versions of medical care are definitely different. While I was living there, I fell off a horse and lost consciousness and had to be taken to the hospital via the ambulance. When I got there, the doctor came in the exam room and asked me to stand up and walk towards him. I did and he said "O.K. looks like you are fine!" and released me. I was there for less than an hour. Looking back, I was obviously in shock because when I got home, I COULD NOT get warm even though I was in sweatpants, sweatshirt and under a huge down comforter. But since I could understand his instructions and move my body, he thought I was fine! Are you a native Norwegian or American?

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 

yes, it's a strange system. Sometimes very, very laid back. Maybe that will play to my benefit in the end - here's hoping!  I am born in Scotland, raised in Canada and hold a US passport, married to a Norwegian. We moved here about 2.5 years ago to let the kids have a taste of the culture and learn the language.  The health system can be great but I think it's very easy to fall between the cracks and not get care when you really should have it. This whole pregnancy thing is just showing more to me... and in the summer, most employees go on vacation over the same six week period and they fly in midwives and doctors from Sweden and Denmark and use a lot of student nurses and midwives to fill in the gaps.  I'm glad I know more than the average woman but it adds a level of uncertainty that I wish I didn't have to deal with.

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