Gift giving for dd WWYD

[crowcaw]

I have a Christmas gift for 5 yo dd.  It was exciting for me this year because there were 2 things that she really wanted -- in the past she has never been able to think of something she wanted.  Anyway, I picked one of those things and that would be her only present from me/dh (I'm not a scrooge, it's just there are presents sent from other family that we open on them on Christmas morning too and we already had Hannukah and she got a couple of presents then so there's lots of getting and it gets overwhelming quickly).  Unfortunately I didn't hide it very well and she saw it.  Would you give it to her on CHristmas anyway, put it away for another occasion and give the other thing she wanted, or do something else?  The other factor is her twin sister is going to be getting something that, though it wasn't requested (this one hasn't come up with anything she wants) is probably going to be something they both will really like but not really share-able and I don't want her to be disappointed with no surprise or special thing.   Neither the seen or other desired gift are particularly expensive items.

[pianojazzgirl]

I think I'd probably put away the gift (or return it if that's possible and desirable) and get the other gift that she really wanted.  I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here, but for me a big part of the excitement of gift giving and receiving at Christmas is the surprise factor.  I guess you have to go with your dd's personality here.  But yeah, if you think she'd be just as happy with the other item I'd probably go for that.

OR...

I'd rethink my 1 gift plan and give her both the things she asked for (then of course get a 2nd present for her sister).  Of course that's just more stuff to buy and more stuff for the house, but at least she still gets a surprise on Christmas morning and also won't be disappointed that the thing she expects to get isn't there.  Up to you!

p.s. I'm just curious... what is the gift that she saw and what's the other gift she had on her list?

[nicolian]

I am thinking of this from a kid's perspective and I think you should give it to her. She'll probably be expecting it now.

[Daffodil]

Originally Posted by nicolian 

I am thinking of this from a kid's perspective and I think you should give it to her. She'll probably be expecting it now.

I agree, she'll probably be disappointed if she doesn't get it now.  I'm not sure the surprise factor is as important to kids as it is to adults.  My kids seem to like the idea of telling me what they want and getting a guarantee from me that they'll get that thing, even though I like the idea of surprises and try to avoid making any promises about what I'm going to get them.  A couple weeks ago, DD found something at Target that she really, really wanted for Christmas, and she really wanted me to buy it right then so she would know she was getting it.  So I bought it and put it away for Christmas, and she's happily looking forward to getting it then.

[littlemizflava]

i would give it to her. both of my 2 sometimes know ahead of time that XXX is being put away till XXX. that is just the way it ends up. right now in my room there is xmas gifts sitting there and they will not touch them. i didnt bother to "hide" them since they were already seen. i dont think they love it less because they know. since you said it was one of the things she asked for. i think she would be happy knowing she is getting what she asked for.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by Daffodil 

Originally Posted by nicolian 

I am thinking of this from a kid's perspective and I think you should give it to her. She'll probably be expecting it now.

I agree, she'll probably be disappointed if she doesn't get it now.  I'm not sure the surprise factor is as important to kids as it is to adults.

ITA.  My ds actually really didn't like surprises.  I suspect he'd have preferred not even having gifts wrapped.

[crowcaw]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl 

go for that.

OR...

I'd rethink my 1 gift plan and give her both the things she asked for (then of course get a 2nd present for her sister).  Of course that's just more stuff to buy and more stuff for the house, but at least she still gets a surprise on Christmas morning and also won't be disappointed that the thing she expects to get isn't there.  Up to you!

p.s. I'm just curious... what is the gift that she saw and what's the other gift she had on her list?

I'm thinking now I'll probably give her both.  Neither gift is huge -- the one I already have is a Playmobil Egyptian ship to go with the pyramid set she got for her birthday (she saw the ship in the little booklet that came with the pyramid) and the other things is a mini donut maker that she saw in a catalog.
 

Originally Posted by Daffodil 

Originally Posted by nicolian 

I am thinking of this from a kid's perspective and I think you should give it to her. She'll probably be expecting it now.

I agree, she'll probably be disappointed if she doesn't get it now.  I'm not sure the surprise factor is as important to kids as it is to adults.  My kids seem to like the idea of telling me what they want and getting a guarantee from me that they'll get that thing, even though I like the idea of surprises and try to avoid making any promises about what I'm going to get them.  A couple weeks ago, DD found something at Target that she really, really wanted for Christmas, and she really wanted me to buy it right then so she would know she was getting it.  So I bought it and put it away for Christmas, and she's happily looking forward to getting it then.

When I was a kid my mother always had us pick out our own presents, and once we were older even wrap them, and I didn't like it.  I wanted something to be a surprise.  I'm probably more concerned about it than dd will be.  Thanks

[What Next?]

Another vote for giving it to her.  I think she'd be disappointed if you tried to save it.  You didn't mention whose fault it was that she saw it - did you leave it out, or did she come downstairs after bedtime while it was out, or what?  If it's HER fault, I see this as a good opportunity to discuss surprises and not peeking.  After she's opened the gift, you can discuss how she felt, knowing that this would be her gift, and that it wasn't a surprise.  Some kids love surprises, some kids don't.  Some kids are okay with a surprise once in a while, but they prefer that "guarantee" some of the time.  If you can figure this personality trait out now, it may really pay off later.

My own story: I don't mind knowing all my gifts.  Once the Santa story leaked, I actually liked knowing most of them.  BUT, I would never have gone looking for any gifts.  If I knew, it was just because my mom bought it while I was with her.  At 16, Mom hosted a surprise party for me.  I'm sorry to say I HATED it!  But she should have known that! 

My own 6yo knows what her gift from us is.  She doesn't know what Santa will bring.  She's okay with that, and excited to see if anything from her list will be under the tree.

[lynsage]

I'd give it to her. I don't really like to be surprised and I remember MANY Christmases where I felt like I had to fake being more surprised and excited about gifts from adults than I really was to make the adults happy- if I had had something I really wanted taken away from me just because the "surprise was ruined" for the giver that would have really sucked.

[crowcaw]

It wasn't her fault at all that she saw it.  I don't even think dds know that presents are in the house and she definitely wasn't looking for them.  I had put it in a closet that they don't go into very often but isn't off limits and she saw the gift when looking for something else that's kept there.   The thought of not giving it to her wasn't at all punishment, just not wanting too many presents and wanting her to have a surprise.  I agree now that I should give it to her, she probably doesn't care if it's a surprise; she's not adverse to surprises but all the relative presents are surprises.  Now I just have to think of a second present for her sister.

[pianojazzgirl]

Oooh... the Playmobil egyptian ship... I want that too!  (My kids are really into playmobil, but not the Egyptian stuff... as a kid I was really into Pyramids and mummies, etc and I keep hoping they'll get into it too... so I can re-live my childhood obsession, lol!!!)

You're doing what I would do mama (finances permitting).  I'm surprised that so many people here don't like surprises or have kids that don't like surprises.  I've always really liked surprises and I guess my kids take after me.  Then again dh couldn't care less about the surprise factor.  Wouldn't the world be boring if we were all the same! 

Now I'm curious what your other dd will be getting.  Do you have any ideas for a 2nd gift for her?  (I also love brainstorming kid gift ideas... I guess I'm just all about wanting to re-live my childhood, lol!).

[crowcaw]

Brainstorm away!  She's tough to buy presents for.  She's not that into toys (neither are really) but is always pretending to be someone or something with random props.  She's loves craft materials, and has free access to everything I've already thought of that might be of interest, but doesn't do anything in a directed way.  Absolutely no interest in games or toys intended for make believe (our play kitchen is rarely touched, though she's often cooking something somewhere else).  She does love her stuffed kitties, most of which are poor facsimiles that I made for her, but she already has several.  Dolls are a no go.  The one gift I have for Christmas is a fancy tutu.  She loves to dance and dress up. 

On the other hand, she's just so thrilled to get a present that she lights up opening any box.  But I'd still like to get her something that has a little staying power.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by Daffodil 

Originally Posted by nicolian 

I am thinking of this from a kid's perspective and I think you should give it to her. She'll probably be expecting it now.

I agree, she'll probably be disappointed if she doesn't get it now.  I'm not sure the surprise factor is as important to kids as it is to adults.  My kids seem to like the idea of telling me what they want and getting a guarantee from me that they'll get that thing, even though I like the idea of surprises and try to avoid making any promises about what I'm going to get them. 

Agreed.

[pianojazzgirl]

Is she interested in board games?   I could think of a bunch of good ones for this age.

What about a more specific craft kit (vs. generic craft supplies)?  We love the stuff by Djeco and Hearthsong.   Or a book about origami?  One thing I'm making for my dd this year is a "learn to sew" kit.  I'm going to cut animal shapes out of felt, poke small holes all around the edges where they should be sewn together, then give her a darning needle and embroidery floss to sew with as well as polyfil to stuff them and buttons and/or felt shapes as decorations/for the eyes, etc.  A craft supply you guys might not have on hand that I bet she would like is those gel pens (darn, I forget exactly what they're called - not glitter glue, but pens that draw kind of shiny (gold, silver, etc) and will show up on any colour paper) with a bunch of black paper.  It looks really cool!

One of dd's favorite gifts last year (when she was 5) was a special set of plates just for her.  They were just regular (not "play"), small-sized plates (perfect for kids) with pictures of cats on them.  She still loves to eat her meals off of her "special" plates.

Or you could find another addition to the dress-up box... hats, shoes, dress, costume, etc.

My dd also loves getting "exciting" new clothes (special dress, tights with cool pictures on them, etc).

Do you think she might enjoy a musical instrument?  I'm thinking something along the lines of: kid's guitar, xylophone, percussion instruments, small electronic keyboard (if that wouldn't drive you nuts), etc.

Originally Posted by crowcaw 

Brainstorm away!  She's tough to buy presents for.  She's not that into toys (neither are really) but is always pretending to be someone or something with random props.  She's loves craft materials, and has free access to everything I've already thought of that might be of interest, but doesn't do anything in a directed way.  Absolutely no interest in games or toys intended for make believe (our play kitchen is rarely touched, though she's often cooking something somewhere else).  She does love her stuffed kitties, most of which are poor facsimiles that I made for her, but she already has several.  Dolls are a no go.  The one gift I have for Christmas is a fancy tutu.  She loves to dance and dress up. 

On the other hand, she's just so thrilled to get a present that she lights up opening any box.  But I'd still like to get her something that has a little staying power.

[pianojazzgirl]

I don't know why I can never edit in this new forum....  anyhoo..

I was trying to edit my post to say that I re-read what you wrote and realized that craft kits may not be the way to go - fee free to ignore that suggestion.

I did have another idea too.  What about Litebrite (sp?).

[crowcaw]

The lite-brite is a good idea.  I think that might really appeal to her.  I like your sewing kit too but I'm forever cutting shapes out of felt for them to sew together -- they make finger puppets and little animals, so I'd have to think of some way to make it special.  I also like the special plates thing -- actually she'd be tickled with special drinking glasses because they love getting to use all the different cordial glasses we have but they don't get to very often.  It's not something I feel like I could give just her and not her twin though.  Maybe I'll do something like that for their birthday.  Thanks!