The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents - Page 3

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride 

We've used a wish list in my family of origin for years. It's not a rule book, and people do buy offlist, but it gives people ideas. We also get very specific about some things (eg. I read a lot of SF and fantasy, and my family loved to buy me new books...but once I moved out of the house, they were never sure which ones I already had, so I'd put down a few books/series that I was interested in reading), and very general about others. I don't always use the lists, but I do like them.

I guess I just don't get the "instead" part. That was one of the things that bugged me about the original article. It's not a matter of shopping for gifts or spending time together/singing/walking in the snow/whatever. Lots of people shop and do other things.

I get where you're comgin from on the Christmas holiday aspect, but I don't really agree. Christmas has evolved to where it's also a secular holiday. And, I don't want to call Christmas a "winter festival". My mom's family of origin were deeply religious, and she grew up celebrating a Christian Christmas. When she left the church, she continued with those aspects of the holiday that she still treasured from her childhood. For my family - and many others - Christmas is a traditional/cultural holiday, not a religious one, even though it has religious roots.

And, why on earth would we boot you off MDC - or even want to?? I'm not a Grinch, but I have no issue with people who are Grinches. I love, love, love, love, love Christmas - the time with family, choosing gifts, singing, the lights, the food, filling stockings, seeing my kids light up the same way I did on Christmas morning, etc. etc. etc. I love everything about the season (except the crazy drivers). But, I don't suffer from the bizarre delusion that everybody has to love everything that I love. There's no freaking requirement for people to enjoy Christmas or to even celebrate Christmas, if they don't want to. People who get like that about Christmas are kind of missing the point, imo. (And, fwiw, I love your posts, and I'm glad you're here - Grinch or no.)

I just saw this... I went through the entire unorganized smiley list to find the happy tears one but I give up. <happy tears>

I have some unpopular and extreme opinions and don't usually have a need to share them but for some reason I felt compelled this time, And I definitely wasn't trying to sway anyone to my side (heck, I'd rather people enjoy Christmas), just explaining.

The good times vs gifts indeed aren't an either/or - I guess my gift issues come from my mother being so OVERWHELMING about gifts that I have a desire to redirect her emphasis toward the good times instead of the stuff. And I hate receiving gifts so much that at this point I really would be happy if I never got a gift ever again. Yes, I know that's extreme and unusual. So it's not either/or but that's how I've kind of come to see it that way - my extremism is born of the opposite extremism.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by laohaire 

I just saw this... I went through the entire unorganized smiley list to find the happy tears one but I give up. <happy tears>

I have some unpopular and extreme opinions and don't usually have a need to share them but for some reason I felt compelled this time, And I definitely wasn't trying to sway anyone to my side (heck, I'd rather people enjoy Christmas), just explaining.

The good times vs gifts indeed aren't an either/or - I guess my gift issues come from my mother being so OVERWHELMING about gifts that I have a desire to redirect her emphasis toward the good times instead of the stuff. And I hate receiving gifts so much that at this point I really would be happy if I never got a gift ever again. Yes, I know that's extreme and unusual. So it's not either/or but that's how I've kind of come to see it that way - my extremism is born of the opposite extremism.

That makes perfect sense to me. And, honestly, I love, love, love giving gifts (but I don't think I go overboard)...but I don't care that much about getting them. I have no aversion to it, but really do enjoy giving them more than getting them. I'm sorry gifting got spoiled for you, but that can happen. (It's actually a bit like the way my parents were both slobs, mostly because their parents - one dad and one mom - were so compulsively tidy/clean that they never felt they could relax at home. Extremes tend to trigger extreme reactions.)

[KLM99]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride 

Extremes tend to trigger extreme reactions.)

 I agree with this and am worried about it.  I think my husband and I tend to be pretty extreme - we're very neat and organized people.  We clear out clutter quickly.  Anyone else feel like they're extreme in some ways and worried about how it may affect their children?  What are you doing to help your children understand your extremeness and perhaps embrace it (or at least not go the other way completely)?

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by KLM99 

Originally Posted by Storm Bride 

Extremes tend to trigger extreme reactions.)

 I agree with this and am worried about it.  I think my husband and I tend to be pretty extreme - we're very neat and organized people.  We clear out clutter quickly.  Anyone else feel like they're extreme in some ways and worried about how it may affect their children?  What are you doing to help your children understand your extremeness and perhaps embrace it (or at least not go the other way completely)?

 I do try to moderate.

I don't like gifts - but I don't try to restrict gifts DD gets from others. DD gets plenty (plenty!!!) of gifts even if I don't really do them.

I do struggle with clutter, but so far clutter has won. I do try to declutter our stuff (and I think DD's toys are the primary - though of course not sole - clutter in the house) but I haven't done anything like get rid of a huge pile of DD's stuff without her knowledge. That's hard since she's a pack rat. I admit I do chuck small broken things without her knowledge but so far that hasn't been a problem (I really do mean small cheap plastic broken crap things).

I hate sugar but I bake (whole wheat and I reduce the sugar called for in a recipe) and DD has a "treat day" every week in addition to what I may or may not bake that week, in which she can get a snack/dessert of her choice, no restrictions.

I'm not kidding myself, I'm sure DD will grow up to notice her mom is a bit uptight about some things. But I think I will be able to put that on myself - I think there's a big difference between "gifts/clutter/sugar will kill you" (lol) and "your mom is a little anal about that stuff, humor her."

[churndash]

I think people should celebrate the holidays in the way that makes them most happy and not worry about what other people think or whether it is what they are "supposed" to do.

Frankly, I enjoy buying presents. I enjoy wrapping them. I'm not going to stop because of some blog article. 

I also enjoy baking and decorating cookies, driving around looking at lights and singing Christmas carols. So these things are all part of my holidays.

If you don't like shopping, wrapping or whatever by all means don't do those things, but there's no need to look down on the people who do.

[Mrs. Bratton]

I adore Christmas. I adore giving gifts and I don't feel bad or apologize for it. lol. I make lots of gifts (made my sister a charm bracelet, actually hand crafted the charms out of silver metal clay and put her birthstone in one, and handmade a mosaic plaque for my grandmother from tiles and a mirror I broke up) but I also buy gifts. I never buy useless crap for people, though. If I don't know them very well I do things like pajamas. Most everyone wears pajamas and its a mice gift to get.

I can understand that line of thinking for people like my mom, though. All she does is complain about all the shopping, she has a financial "quota" to fill for each person, etc. It just makes her miserable. Why do it if you hate it? That makes NO sense and it takes all the meaning out of the holiday. My Grandmother cracks me up! Get this, she has my mother do all her shopping for her and me do all her wrapping and has us pick out our own gifts. Then she won't let us tell her what she got us! So on Christmas it's like "Surprise, look what you got me!" and she's all "Ooh, thats so nice!" lol. Her theory is that if we aren't going to be surprised she wants someone to. She did actually go out and get one surprise this year for me and one for my daughter. She got me a beautiful mosaic vase that  had actually pointed out to my mother and commented on numerous times. My mother never told her about it, just just picked it out herself and when I saw it I instantly knew what store it came from. She got my daughter and adorable BabiCorolle all cloth rag doll. It comes in a really cute box and is an heirloom quality toy IMO. Anyway, the point is she makes us pick out our own stuff b/c she says she has no clue what to get us but when she tries she gets the perfect gifts.

[Hoopin' Mama]

I understand what the author is saying but it misses the mark for me as well. Giving can be great. I am not familiar with the blogger, but personally I would enjoy reading something that talks about solutions to counteract the consumer frenzy. Like creative wrapping, buying local, buying second hand, make-it-or-bake-it, etc. Because gift giving itself is not bad. So, his rant didn't impress me so much.